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WWYD? Know wife is cheating on husband, would you tell?

(71 Posts)
dancedancedancedance Sat 21-Jan-17 14:11:31

We live in a small town and everyone mentioned in this post are acquaintances of mine, I'm friends on Facebook with the husband in this instance who I'll call Mr White.

Mr & Mrs White have been married for a few years with a 5 year old daughter. Mrs White was married to someone else when she got together with Mr White - was a long term affair. This was big news in our town for a while after it happened. There were also several other men linked to her while she was married previously and she got a bit of a name for herself. What was true and what was malicious gossip I don't know.

Fast forward a few years and I get told Mrs White is now having an affair with one of the town's serial philanderers who I'll call Mr P. I've known Mr P a long time and had first hand experience of his sleazy ways after he tried very hard to get me to go home with him not long after I was married. He knows my husband very well. I've spent a lot of time in his company and know his god awful views on women and the way he treats them as he's not shy about "boasting" about his exploits.

I was out a few months ago and bumped into Mr P who gave me this sob story about how he'd broken up with the live of his life who he'd been having an affair with for over 2 years but she broke it off because she couldn't do that to her daughter i.e. split up the family.

However since then I've heard a couple of instances where people have mentioned that Mrs White and Mr P have been in each others company again hmm Mr White is on Facebook often and talk about what he's up to with Mrs White etc etc. All very innocuous.

The problem is I like Mr White and think he's being taken for a mug!! She is not a nice person. However they got together by having an affair... Also he may already know, I have to say that New White and Mr P are NOT subtle about it. It's fucking embarrassing.

So. WWYD?? Keep schtum?? The messenger always gets shot...

AuroraBora Sat 21-Jan-17 14:18:34

They are acquaintances, keep schtum.

If it were your best friend I'd say tell him, but not in this case.

Flossyfloof Sat 21-Jan-17 14:21:16

I think you should mind your own business.

DeathStare Sat 21-Jan-17 14:22:52

You know nothing except some gossip and putting two and two together and getting six. Keep your nose out.

Peregrina Sat 21-Jan-17 14:24:12

Keep out of it. If you are in a small town where everyone knows everyone else's business, then Mr White will find out soon enough anyway.

Bluntness100 Sat 21-Jan-17 14:25:24

You know nothing for a fact, for gods sake, you can't go making assumptions then go ruining people's marriages. Ffs.

dancedancedancedance Sat 21-Jan-17 14:25:38

I know it's none of my business but I see Mr White quite often and we always have a good chat and all the time I'm thinking about his wife having an affair and I think he's none the wiser! It's just wrong that everyone else knows, is talking about it and he probably has no idea sad

dancedancedancedance Sat 21-Jan-17 14:26:57

I think it's pretty concrete since Mr P told me....

SammyM016 Sat 21-Jan-17 14:28:08

But you have no proof and you are just an acquaintance in a small town! Stop being so nosy and concentrate on your own life! Do you want to become dragged into a drama, are you bored? Because you will be dragged in if you go shooting your mouth off.

formerbabe Sat 21-Jan-17 14:28:17

How do you know he doesn't know?

Anyway, I personally think it's best to not get involved in other people's relationships.

SammyM016 Sat 21-Jan-17 14:30:11

Mr P could be talking shit.

Awwlookatmybabyspider Sat 21-Jan-17 14:32:19

I'd just turn a blind eye. Mr White may not thank you for being the bearer of bad news. What the eye doesn't see. The heart doesn't grieve over.
Yes it will be uncovered one day, but until them let him live in blissful ignorance.
Plus when it comes down it. With much respect. Its none of your business.

Rixera Sat 21-Jan-17 14:33:15

He might know anyway. There may be some kind of agreement.

barinatxe Sat 21-Jan-17 14:34:06

Got proof, tell him. Not got proof, find it or keep quiet.

EmeraldScorn Sat 21-Jan-17 14:36:19

I'm like a broken record on here but.... Mind your own business!

That is my advice.

TSSDNCOP Sat 21-Jan-17 14:36:49

I would give this one a nice, big swerve.

Maybe Mr P is winding you up, and if he is you'll come ver as the bearer of gossip. Disclaimer I've seen this actually happen IRL when a Mrs White and Mr P decided to have a little mischief.

Andrewofgg Sat 21-Jan-17 14:37:11


VeryBitchyRestingFace Sat 21-Jan-17 14:37:34

If "everyone" is talking about it, it's likely Mr White already knows.

Leave them to it.

Finola1step Sat 21-Jan-17 14:38:32

Mr P could be talking shit.
Mr White may know.

If it was a best friend, brother, dh's best man at your wedding etc type of relationship, I would tell. But acquaintances, keep schtum.

Look at it this way, if you know then it is a matter of time that this all unravels anyway.

TheNaze73 Sat 21-Jan-17 14:40:17

Only you can decide however the often repeated rhetoric on here appears to be "if I was being cheated on, I'd want to know"

Awwlookatmybabyspider Sat 21-Jan-17 14:43:24

Yes. Who's to say. They don't have an open relationship. They're not as uncommon as you might think

TempusEedjit Sat 21-Jan-17 14:44:07

Seeing as Mr and Mrs White got together via an affair then I'm sure Mr W is aware of what his wife is capable of. Leave well alone.

mumofthemonsters808 Sat 21-Jan-17 14:49:50

No, please don't get involved, it's none of your business. Although it's awful watching a good person being taken the piss out of, it's not your place to interfere and no one will thank you for it. As far as you know Mr White already knows and is prepared to turn a blind eye to his wife's infidelity because he loves her.

A friend of ours is sleeping with someone's wife and I really like her husband, he too is a kind, good looking, decent man and for the life of me I can't understand why she is risking her relationship with her lovely husband to be with our prick friend. Her husband adores her and she doesn't deserve him.It's not my place to referee this love triangle though.

mumofthemonsters808 Sat 21-Jan-17 14:51:13

Not my place

ThroughThickAndThin01 Sat 21-Jan-17 14:54:02

Not your place to tell.

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