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To refuse to be ashamed of being a recovering alcoholic?

(86 Posts)
ChickenVindaloo2 Sat 21-Jan-17 09:48:34

Yesterday was 2 years since I became clean and sober. I posted as much on my facebook page. I have only about 60 friends and family and pretty much all of them know there is/was an issue.

My parents knew the full extent of it and how close I came to ruining my life/ending up dead/in hospital etc.

My dad phoned me at 8am and asked I take the post down "because we've got family on there".

I am open about my struggle and have found that several people have asked me about it privately and shared their own worries about being addicted to wine especially.

AIBU to refuse to keep quiet or be ashamed?

Thanks.

Eolian Sat 21-Jan-17 09:50:24

YADNBU and congratulations flowers.

cherrycrumblecustard Sat 21-Jan-17 09:50:43

I think you are not at all unreasonable.

Be proud.

Flisstizzy Sat 21-Jan-17 09:51:46

Do not be ashamed, keep it there as it is reinforcing how well you have done. Congratulations.
Addicted to wine is an interesting concept, it certainly does have a more powerful draw than other drinks for me.

DonaldStott Sat 21-Jan-17 09:51:57

Yanbu. It is an achievement. Well done. Your dad is being silly.

Inarightpickleandchutney Sat 21-Jan-17 09:52:48

Absolutely not unreasonable in the slightest

Congratulations that's a huge achievement!

FuckOffDailyMailQuitQuotingMN Sat 21-Jan-17 09:52:57

Congratulations flowers

I have s dear friend with young children who is battling alcoholism, it's a tough one. You should be very proud. Out and proud, you never know who is suffering.

BewtySkoolDropowt Sat 21-Jan-17 09:53:39

Jeez, that's something to be damned proud of!

Yanbu, keep your head high.

PuntasticUsername Sat 21-Jan-17 09:55:50

YANBU. It's your life, your story and you're in charge of how you share it and with whom. It's not up to your dad.

Congratulations!

junebirthdaygirl Sat 21-Jan-17 09:56:54

Your dad is probably being protective of you and wants you to now have a different identity in the family. I can kind of understand that as a parent. But of course it's up to you what you post.

BroomstickOfLove Sat 21-Jan-17 09:58:10

YANBU. Congratulations!

PastysPrincess Sat 21-Jan-17 09:58:13

Well done!!!! flowers

You should definitely be proud! Just think of the number of people you could help just by being open about it.

If other people dont like it they can unfollow or unfriend you and good riddance as you don't need people like that in your life.

FantasticButtocks Sat 21-Jan-17 10:00:14

YANBU - you should be proud. Maybe edit your FB post so it begins 'apologies to any of my family who find this embarrassing but I am PROUD that I have...etc etc

Carnabyqueen Sat 21-Jan-17 10:00:34

Being a pessimist, I'd not do it for fear that I may slip up one day, then I'd feel embarrassed.

SanitysSake Sat 21-Jan-17 10:01:02

This is more about your Dad's ego than it is about you.

You should be extremely proud of yourself.

x

Olympiathequeen Sat 21-Jan-17 10:03:25

I can see why your DF wants to sweep it under the carpet and forget about a dreadful episode in all your lives, but I can also understand how you need to be proud of your huge achievement and shout it from the rooftops.

For you it's important to not forget a bad time but to celebrate your achievement so I would leave it and explain to your DF how important it is to acknowledge how far you have come

LegoCaltrops Sat 21-Jan-17 10:03:46

Be proud. I feel very strongly on this issue... I've seen the damage alcoholism can do in my own family, your family should be celebrating with you, not trying to make you hide your recovery.

I suspect your dad is more worried about his own feelings than what others may think - he probably hasn't considered that. If the family members are drinkers - they won't care. If they are anti-alcohol, they should be pleased that you've quit. They might only be judgmental if they're inclined to be anyway, in which case, stuff them!

ChickenVindaloo2 Sat 21-Jan-17 10:03:46

Thanks. Yes, I feel my dad thinks it reflects poorly on him as a parent that I have had issues with alcohol and food.

Obviously the fact he called me thunder thighs/legs like tree trunks and made me run around with bags of sugar and made jokes about liposuction before I was a flower girl at age 8 and had to ask my grandmother what that was, that was all fine and it's my own fault that I am overweight. Apparently at one stage he "couldn't even bear to look at me". I was 14 stone.

ChickenVindaloo2 Sat 21-Jan-17 10:04:35

14 stone as an adult, I should say.
As a child I was perfectly normal. Not even more than a tiny bit chubby, when I look at pics.

LegoCaltrops Sat 21-Jan-17 10:05:17

He sounds a delight. hmmangry Ignore him & be proud of your achievement.

Timeforabiscuit Sat 21-Jan-17 10:06:23

Congratulations on your time sober, there is far far too much secrecy surrounding alcoholism - and far too few people coming out of the other side.

Your family may not be quite ready to acknowledge the progress you've made, they may have spent years covering for you, making excuses for behaviour etc and it takes time to build up that trust again.

Timeforabiscuit Sat 21-Jan-17 10:08:47

Xpost, if your father thinks its a poor reflection on him then he can go do one!

DrLockhart Sat 21-Jan-17 10:11:25

I think from your last post, you've highlighted the problem is you dad doesn't accept you're a recovering alcoholic, even if you do.

That's his problem and definitely not yours.

Well done for reaching 2 years sober. My close friend is 18 years sober now, and he still knows to the day how many days sober he's been and is very proud of it (as we all are).

flowers

DrLockhart Sat 21-Jan-17 10:11:46

*your dad

Thrilled Sat 21-Jan-17 10:15:35

I was about to post that for a parent there is nothing worse than seeing your child, at any age, in pain or suffering and your post will be a reminder of that terrible time. However, I have just read your post that your Dad called you names as a child. How bloody horrendous of him.

You should be very proud of yourself. Leave the post us. Your Dad has no say in what you post or any right to comment, particularly as his past behaviour was a contributing factor.

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