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To ask for financial help

(11 Posts)
Exileinengland1999 Sat 21-Jan-17 07:39:32

I am 43, 2 DCs and rent in the south of England so obviously expensive. Would love to buy before it's too late but have struggled to save a deposit as rent so high, etc etc. DCs settled in school hence/ I have good job hence not moving to cheaper area yet.
I have a big-ish family with one real Sibling and 2 half siblings, all of whom own houses. Everyone else has been helped to buy houses and were given deposits and had weddings paid for weddings etc. I've always believed on standing on my own 2 feet and I hate grabby-ness entitled-ness over money etc but we are struggling a lot with the cost of renting.
Aibu to ask for the same help as the other 3? I don't want to ask as hate even the idea of asking for money but we are totally stuck in rented accommodation and I feel like life is passing me by. I just want some security for me kids.

BasinHaircut Sat 21-Jan-17 07:42:50

I take it you mean from your parents?

YANBU to ask and if your siblings have all had this help already then it might be forthcoming, but if you have got to this age without the offer then I'd be prepared for the answer to be no.

Costacoffeeplease Sat 21-Jan-17 07:55:29

Do you know why you haven't been given the same help? Did the others ask or was it offered?

Exileinengland1999 Sat 21-Jan-17 07:56:44

I think the others did ask but I hate the idea of asking for money so have always tried to do it myself but it's not quite worked out as I thought

Exileinengland1999 Sat 21-Jan-17 07:57:49

I have been saving for years but house price inflation/low interest rates has outstripped the rate at which I can save enough

BBK6 Sat 21-Jan-17 08:20:54

I'm not a fan of not making your own way in life. I wouldn't ask personally. My mum has shit loads of money and will never spend it as her income is more than enough but I would never dream of asking for any. In previous generations this would not have even been considered as an option

BBK6 Sat 21-Jan-17 08:21:36

Do they not have help to buy schemes there?

witsender Sat 21-Jan-17 08:22:34

They're obviously open to it, so I would ask.

TreeTop7 Sat 21-Jan-17 08:55:49

I'd ask. I wouldn't mention your siblings' paid-for weddings because they're not relevant, but I would definitely mention their house deposits, along the lines of, "you kindly helped out Brenda, Norris and Doris when they were looking to get on the property ladder. So, I was wondering ....."

Maybe they want to help, but don't like to ask. If you're an independent sort, they may feel awkward about offering.

CripsSandwiches Sat 21-Jan-17 08:57:03

BBK6 That seems odd to me. Surely your parents would rather help you than have money sat in their bank account doing nothing (and which you will eventually inherit anyway). I don't think it's true that parents didn't offer financial help in the past - there was also much more practical help offered with childcare etc. In the past it was also easy to support a family and buy a home with a single modest income which is certainly no longer the case.

lionsleepstonight Sat 21-Jan-17 09:06:58

Go for it, as others have said they have helped your siblings. Worth a try. I'd also explore other options too, rent to buy, shared ownership etc. I bought a house via shared ownership when I was single and my income was too low to support a full mortgage. It helped me get on the ladder. I've since moved on to another property bought outright via a mortgage, but would not have been in that position if I'd not had the SO start.

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