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In using the children's centre

(58 Posts)
DollyKoo Fri 20-Jan-17 19:15:53

Ours is under new management.

I have a baby, a preschooler and 6yr old. Previously we have attended groups in understanding 6 yr old reads/ plays on a tablet on a chair (he does no issue, he's home educated and sees it as part of a weekly balance. His sisters likewise do similar in some of his activities).

Today new staff were there, he was pointed at and approached. Informed it was 0-5 only. Explained he was home ed and he often sat out (as he was, sitting quietly). He ended up upset as it was all in front of him, that his sisters could no longer attend. I think it was also embarrassment at being focused on as an issue.

I also was upset, the CC previously was a good support for preschooler with sn. We find it hard to get out at times so it does limit us further. She likes the younger stuff and it requires no travel, also for baby it's good to get out.

He's still upset as he felt his sisters are missing out (obviously we've talked this through.

Aibu in allowing an older child to sit out in an adult area and take responsibility he does. It does not impact space not does he join in and thump around as a risk to the Little's ones. He's happy chilling with Roald Dahl right now, obviously I wouldn't expect him to actually join in or Ben provided for.

I feel a bit upset that I now can't manage social time that well for dd either, or the baby. We will get by, but I'm a bit sensitively I guess as so many places are out for sensory reasons etc.

Their view is 0-5 means not present, whereas the previous view was it meant not participating, i.e. As an adult. I guess akin to siblings watching assembly.

CatsRidingRollercoasters Fri 20-Jan-17 19:26:35

I think YANBU to want him to be there so you can use the cc for your younger dc.

Out of interest, why is he home ed? I'm a primary school teacher so biased wink

ohisay Fri 20-Jan-17 19:27:16

What kind of groups are you attending at the children's centre?
Are they open play sessions for any age, or targeted for say, one year olds in particular ?
I run play sessions in the children's centre which is an open play session. This would ordinarily be under 5s, but there are a variety of reasons why older siblings may attend and thy would be more than welcome. However, if it was a group specifically for 2 year olds for example, ANY child outside that age group would not be allowed to attend without prior discussion, although usually could be accommodated.

NuffSaidSam Fri 20-Jan-17 19:27:17


They are being ridiculous. I would go next week as you would normally and argue your point. If he is sitting in the adults area, then he doesn't need to be 0-5!

DollyKoo Fri 20-Jan-17 19:30:30

0-5 universal play sessions

I'm (well was) a primary teacher too. Whole host of reasons. Intially short term in response to unmet SN... it worked well, rolled on from there. Met loads of people, ds was under performing so gave him a trial too and he blossomed. Never imagined doing it, but so far it's worked well overall- bar some hiccups

CatsRidingRollercoasters Fri 20-Jan-17 19:32:31

Fair enough! I'm always interested to hear reasons.

ollieplimsoles Fri 20-Jan-17 19:33:13

Op yanbu and this is such a shame. Many parents rely so heavily on the cc where I live for a much needed change of scene and stimulation for their kids.

I would definitely argue your case for him sitting with you at the back as he always has.

DollyKoo Fri 20-Jan-17 19:36:07

I'm not great for big philosophical reasons I'm afraid smile

We fell in,we don't know what the future holds, it just works very well for us right now and the local school is painfully bad which helps decide

I couldn't go and make a stand next week, ds is soooooo rule bound. He'd cry on the doorstep before he went in! He's active, confident but cannot deal with rule breaking.

ohisay Fri 20-Jan-17 19:36:33

They are being completely unfair, and to be honest, ridiculous.
I would actually ask that they get the situation clarified!
You would always be welcome in our centre!

DollyKoo Fri 20-Jan-17 19:37:12

We wouldn't go if not for autism, it's just a bit easier sometimes than church hall cliques at times. Plus she is not one for new things and it close and familiar

3littlebadgers Fri 20-Jan-17 19:38:28

Our cc is 8 and under, with after school activities and activities in school holidays too.

DollyKoo Fri 20-Jan-17 19:39:21

I have complained, they keep saying about it being for 0-5 and ignoring what I'm saying. Hence the aibu. You'd think he was sitting in the middle demanding they provide he appropriate activities, not sitting at the side. They seem to be of the tack of deliberately answering a different question to the one I ask, sort of "the session is not for his age".

MrsAlexKarev Fri 20-Jan-17 19:39:43

Op, I would go back again if I were you & argue your case. If they still refuse him entry take it higher. Also, in my area they hold a group called 'the forum' which meets every few months and talks over what is working well in the CC etc, it might be worth looking into whether there is one in your area so you can have your say. It sounds like your son isn't making any fuss or disrupting the group so there isn't any reason why he can't be there IMO!

homeeddilemma Fri 20-Jan-17 19:39:45

I too was a primary school teacher and for that reason alone would never question why anyone would choose to home ed! I gave up teaching to do it for my own children.
I see no problem with your ds sitting there occupying himself during the session. I do hope the staff are flexible enough to listen to your reasons.

DollyKoo Fri 20-Jan-17 19:40:26

Ours were ok with siblings in half term too, this may change

ohisay Fri 20-Jan-17 19:40:58

The more I read, the more annoyed i feel on your behalf!
You are a family in need of what the children's centre offers!
They are supposed to be reaching out to families not turning them away 😡

DollyKoo Fri 20-Jan-17 19:41:12

Ours have a forum of sorts, but I don't have the childcare to go.

KingLooieCatz Fri 20-Jan-17 19:41:28

Ring them and discuss it with someone first so you don't have to discuss it in front of him perhaps? Seems a shame to give it up.

Tiptoethr0ughthetulips Fri 20-Jan-17 19:42:25

YANBU, I used to attend a 0-5 group at our children's centre with a friend, she brought her 8 year old DS with her one week as it was school holidays. He sat himself at the back of the room on ipad. Staff homed in and said it was unacceptable and he couldn't stay. I felt it was really petty, he wasn't participating in anyway. We never returned, shame since it was a nice little group and got us out during mat leave.

Robinkitty Fri 20-Jan-17 19:42:29

It's a shame they won't let him stay, I can't see why they wouldn't let him.
I have taken my older children as non-participators the only thing is my local Cc doesn't allow phones so I would have stuck to paper books rather than the tablet. Might be worth ringing and asking again if he could stay?

DollyKoo Fri 20-Jan-17 19:43:05

They run the Good Beginning course for children referred to the social comm clinic... without a crèche. I think that sums it up (childcare? SN toddler?)

They also don't have siblings at the support/ SN group they ran.

m0therofdragons Fri 20-Jan-17 19:44:42

Yabu. Lots of baby groups round here are for under ones so I couldn't go to the lovely singing group I took dd1 to when I had dtds 2&3. Dd1 was 3 so wasn't allowed. Similarly with swimming for babies and toddlers (once dc was over 3 they couldn't use that session so had to go to preschooler session (which babies weren't allowed at). That's life. One baby group did allow my dd1 and my friend's dd1 to attend as they played nicely but then another 3 yo began coming and he was really rough so we all had to stop going.

DollyKoo Fri 20-Jan-17 19:45:08

I've emailed and discussed on Facebook messenger.

I think petty was I how I felt. He was noticed for the first ten min by the staff who signed him in, opened door or welcomed us. Another member of staff homer in, about the 5rh to see him

StrawberriCream Fri 20-Jan-17 19:45:46

Are there any home ed groups in your area you could go too?? Our gymnastics does a home ed session, as do some other groups. I realise this doesn't deal with Thos actual issue but may get you somewhere different

mambono5 Fri 20-Jan-17 19:46:34

It's a difficult one. My center has fairly limited space, so only allow a certain amount of children - and have to turn down the ones who arrive once it's full. Your 6yo would take someone else space, because they would be obliged to count him as a child, which he is.

It would also set a problematic precedent for the school holidays, when families can no longer attend because they have older children. The center cannot be seen as making exceptions for one person, but not the other.

I have the impression that the manager don't have that much freedom to run the sessions.

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