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wanting to overrule dd1's preferred decor for her bedroom?

(34 Posts)
melpomene Sat 24-Feb-07 07:55:49

DD1 is 3.9. She needs a new carpet for her bedroom. Her current carpet is blue. The walls in her bedroom and the blind are yellow.

We've been looking at carpet samples and dd1 says she'd prefer a lilac carpet. I'm not keen on that, and I'd prefer to stick to blue because:

- I think lilac carpet would clash hideously with the yellow walls. We'd either have to put up with the clash or redecorate the whole room (time and expense).
- It would not be as good for the resale value of the house, because many people wouldn't want a lilac carpet in a boy's bedroom.
- Blue makes it feel more unified with the rest of the house (All the rest of our upstairs carpets is blue.)
-Blue is more 'neutral' and flexible when it comes to adapting the decor of the room at a later date.

On the other hand, dh thinks we should respect dd1's preference. It is her bedroom, and he thinks we should respect her autonomy.

So, am I being mean? Should I grit my teeth and accept the clash of lilac carpet with yellow walls? Would it be reasonable to compromise and go for the blue carpet, but buy dd1 a purple pony picture for her wall?

(off for breakfast now, but will check back later)

sandyballs Sat 24-Feb-07 07:59:07

Not at all unreasonable, she's rather young to be requesting such things.

BandofMothers Sat 24-Feb-07 07:59:29

Why don't you get the blue carpet, but let dd1 pick out a big lilac rug?

misdee Sat 24-Feb-07 08:01:14

errr she is 3. let her choose a picture but not the carpet

katelyle Sat 24-Feb-07 08:01:32

I would let dd choose. I am nearly 50, but I can remember as if it was yesterday being in a wallpaper shop when I was about 5 and asking if I could have two walls with the rabbit paper and two walls with the pink stripe and my mum saying yes!

Or how about a lilac fluffy rug? I've seen some fake sheepskins in Matalan which look like a 3year old girl's dream.

rosylonginglily Sat 24-Feb-07 08:04:05

Get a big (fluffy?) lilac mat to put over the carpet? Pony picture sounds a good idea and maybe girly bedding and cushions which tie the colours together somehow? I am a big fan of Vertbaudet for that kind of thing.

nearlyfourbob Sat 24-Feb-07 08:04:58

Wouldn't let her choose a carpet at 3. 13 maybe!

Took ds to buy bedside cabinet today (requested for his 4th birthday) he chose a baby pink one. It was very much overuled on the grounds of not going with anything else in his room.

He certainly wouldn't get to choose a carpet as all our carpets match. Why can't she have a lilac rug?

rosylonginglily Sat 24-Feb-07 08:06:15

ooh cross posts with similar ideas! My 4 year old dd is really wanting to redecorate our house! Though she wants black in the living room....

Twiglett Sat 24-Feb-07 08:25:51

she's not even 4 yet

are you mad

its your house .. you don't let a 4 year old choose expensive things

take her to the shop and let her choose an ornament or toy or something

your DH needs a talking to

WideWebWitch Sat 24-Feb-07 08:25:53

Agree that a lilac carpet sounds like a bad idea and thata rug would be a good compromise. You could teach her the meaning of the word and you could also tell her that a rug's better because you can take it with you if you ever move.

WideWebWitch Sat 24-Feb-07 08:26:36

I also agree that she's too young to have final decision making power on carpets!

Miaou Sat 24-Feb-07 08:32:23

No, I think the blue carpet/lilac rug would be a great compromise. The dds have been talking about redecorating their bedroom (it's a vile manky magnolia atm) and though we are happy for them to come up with suggestions, dh and I will certainly have the final say.

Twiglett Sat 24-Feb-07 08:36:28

I must be incredibly mean / tight-fisted / cruel (delete as appropriate) as I can't help feeling that I wouldn't even let her choose a rug .. small toy / small ornament .. under a fiver

BandofMothers Sat 24-Feb-07 08:42:01

I got dd1 a pink hopscotch rug, which she loves. Argos for 15, but i got mine from the market for a tenner.
Bit harsh Twiglett, but understandable as 3/4 yr old tastes can be bloody awful and you'd end up with a roomful of stuff that clashes.
A rug can be moved at least.

rosylonginglily Sat 24-Feb-07 08:42:46

She can be involved without it costing the earth, let her paint a big picture herself and stick it in a clip frame for her wall!

BandofMothers Sat 24-Feb-07 08:51:02

That's a good idea and makes it feel homey to them.
I have a big Charlie and Lola picture of stickers and a giant Fifi pic with stickers and drawing that we did together.
She loves that she can look at it everyday.

InAbsentia Sat 24-Feb-07 09:01:26

Posted by Twiglett:

> your DH needs a talking to

that would be me then

> are you mad?

possibly

> its your house

rubbish. it's OUR home. and it's HER room.

> take her to the shop and let her choose an ornament or toy or something

a great way to patronise the people you (claim to) love!

fact is, we asked DD what she thought. to ignore the reply because we don't like it is positively insulting.

melpomene Sat 24-Feb-07 09:09:30

Thanks for the suggestions, everyone. There seems to be a clear consensus - I think the rug idea is a good one. As you can tell from the post above, I showed the thread to dh.

nearlythree Sat 24-Feb-07 09:16:21

Lilac and yellow go lovely together - think primroses and crocuses. Add a little pale gree and you have a colour scheme like spring - just right for a three and a bit yr old.

I'm with InAbsentia. If you've asked dd what she would like, you go with it.

LowFatMilkshake Sat 24-Feb-07 09:23:45

In support of NearlyThree, pink and yellow go really well together. DD(3.5) has a yellow room with pink and lilac accents - with a sort of Disney Princess theme (lampshade, bedding, pictures etc), although nothing we can't change as she actually prefers Mickey and Donald.

Granted her carpet is neutral beige, but we got the carpet a few months before she was born and it's in both DC's rooms. Our room is .....lilac !

Just wondered, regarding your comment on re-sale, are you planning to sell anytime soon? Guessing not else you would'nt be getting her new carpet?

WideWebWitch Sat 24-Feb-07 09:24:48

inabsentia, I don't think it's patronising to let her choose something small. She's 3! The OP didn't say you'd asked her and told her she could choose though, it just said she'd stated her preference, which was lilac.

rosylonginglily Sat 24-Feb-07 09:28:14

my dh is pure soft putty in the hands of our dd age4 which is of course as it should be Though I won't be allowing either of them to paint the living room black

cece Sat 24-Feb-07 09:29:53

I don't want to be rude but regarding the resale. We had blue carpets in our house when we moved in - they were gone within a fortnight. Couldn't stand them.

So I htink my point is go with what you like as you have to live with it. Whatever you hoocsome people will like and some won't when it comes to resale.

BandofMothers Sat 24-Feb-07 09:31:48

LOL Rosy. DD1 (3) pretty much has dh where she wants him.
I personally like lilac. (Dh would be rolling his eyes at that understatement.)
I'm sure your dd would be happy with a rug. Have you asked her yet?

melpomene Sat 24-Feb-07 09:32:56

Wickedwaterwitch, we didn't tell her she could choose. But she looked at the carpet samples and said she wanted the lilac one.

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