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To cancel these parties?

(30 Posts)
harrypoooter Thu 19-Jan-17 15:16:14

Daughter has been invited to 2 parties next weekend. Have accepted one thinking it was for one child. Other one just arrived yesterday.

Problem is one party is for 4 kids and the other is for 3. Just normal bouncy castle parties/softplay. So that's 7 presents. I normally spend 5-10 on each so that could be 70 quid. I'm skint. Also LO and I needs a break I feel. (last weekend had in laws here all weekend which was very stressful for lots of reasons)

Am I a total grinch not accepting? We've already had about 4 parties this month.

Chloe84 Thu 19-Jan-17 15:20:57


Why are the parties all in one day? Are they siblings?

Could you just take a present for the child your child is with friends with?

attheendoftheday Thu 19-Jan-17 15:25:31

Not unreasonable as such, but you could just get cheaper presents.

TeenAndTween Thu 19-Jan-17 15:26:14

Take 1 present for each party.
Either for the child who invited yours or to be randomly given out.

Or do a box of maltesers each.

BemoWax Thu 19-Jan-17 15:27:22

I would take a card for each child and a £1 bag of chocolate buttons each or something.

I am never in a position to afford more than £2 or £3 on presents for other children. When I first started I was a little embarrassed that I'd look cheap, but then I figured I wouldn't bat an eyelid if someone turned up to my child's party with no gift let alone a cheap one.

Don't fret over it, they'll get proper presents from family and close friends anyway, at least sweets are consumable and wont clutter up their house.

NavyandWhite Thu 19-Jan-17 15:28:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Enidblyton1 Thu 19-Jan-17 15:35:54

YANBU to not attend the parties if you are tired and fancy a weekend at home.
But if the real reason is cost YABU. Only take a present for the child/children you know. If it happens to be all 7, just take a small present like a £1 book and/or sweets. Nobody will care (the parents might even be grateful to avoid yet more birthday present tat!)

Underthemoonlight Thu 19-Jan-17 15:37:13

Aw that awkward I wouldn't go on the basis if you've got invites for all DC it's hard to get one present at a reasonable price nm four lots of parents. I understand parents doing this if close birthdays and saving costs but it does put a lot of pressure on parents buying multiple gifts.

InTheDessert Thu 19-Jan-17 15:37:37

Do you know all 7 parties?
I'd the invite signed from all the birthday kids?

Just take presents for the kids you know, and whose name is on the invite.
Spend nearer £5 than £10 to keep the cost down - after all, the hosts are keeping the cost down by sharing.

Oblomov17 Thu 19-Jan-17 15:40:08

2 x Joint parties? One for 4 children. One for 3?
Take 1 present to each party. For the child your dd knows best.

Brokenbiscuit Thu 19-Jan-17 15:40:23

My dd received a box of maltesers or similar on a number of occasions, alongside a number of much more expensive gifts. She was equally happy with all. Kids aren't usually materialistic enough to consider the relative value of what they're given.

ALittleMop Thu 19-Jan-17 15:43:02

I think the parents are trying to save other parents some time!
Does your daughter know all the kids? Are they all her good friends?
Unless best mate, Box of Maltesers or a £2 coin in each card is sufficient for a joint party.
If I were hosting something like that I would hate to think people wouldn;t come because of the cost of presents. It's about being there for the celebration, not a gift-gathering exercise.

SparklyLeprechaun Thu 19-Jan-17 15:45:13

No need to buy a present for each child, you only buy for the child who invited your DD. I had joint parties for my DCs (birthdays 2 days apart) I would have been mortified if guests brought presents for both.

stoopido Thu 19-Jan-17 15:54:52

In the past if it is a joint party then I only buy for the child we know.

NovemberInDailyFailLand Thu 19-Jan-17 15:55:07

Pound Land is your friend, here! I often got things like a box of Maltesers for b'day as a twin.

OracleofDelphi Thu 19-Jan-17 16:02:17

When DD was 4 she had a big class party (nursery) with about 30 kids at soft play. Her favourite present was a plastic crown and matching necklace from her best friend which came from Poundland ... taught me a lesson then and there that kids are not interested in the value of things. If that was me I would either just buy for the kids who invited - or if its a whole class thing so she knows all the kids , I would get a box of cheap chocs/ Haribo for each and be done with it.

If you dont want her to go because shes tired then decline, but dont not let her go because you are worried about the gifts. When y 2 had big class parties there were always people who didnt bring gifts and it never bothered me or my daughter / son at all

Floggingmolly Thu 19-Jan-17 16:05:12

Are all these children in the same class??

JaquieFromTheBlock Thu 19-Jan-17 16:06:15

Ive never heard of a party for three of four kids?

id still send the child, but with a cheap present, a £1 shop pressie or sweets

TENSHI Thu 19-Jan-17 16:07:16

£land or wrap up a bag of sweets for each or get secondhand but new looking books for each or recycle unwanted christmas presents.

No way do you ever need to spend a fortune.

minipie Thu 19-Jan-17 16:08:03

YY to Poundland or Maltesers

The kids won't care about how much you've spent

The parents have had a joint party to save money, so they can hardly blame you for doing the same!

mrsm43s Thu 19-Jan-17 16:28:13

Books! Go to the Works or order online from the Book People. Look for Multipack deals that you can split up amongst all 7. Or Poundland often do books too.

It's cheap, a great gift, and always loved by parents!

JeffreySadsacIsUnwell Thu 19-Jan-17 16:34:49

Lots of joint parties this half-term - there always are. We're guilty of doing the same... But when you have a third of the class with birthdays in January and February, and term started early so no birthday parties in the last week of Xmas hols and everyone's away during half term this year because there was no time at New Year before schools went back... you have to go joint or else the children would be being invited to three parties each weekend, or having to decide which of the parties to go to.

Plus joint parties mean that you can invite the whole class, avoiding excluding a few - not so much about cost savings as crowd control. In my case, neither the other mother nor I could face dealing with a couple of the rowdier boys singledhandedly, but together we can tackle any of them grin.

TBH the worst thing about joint parties is the number of presents the DC receive. I would be so much happier if nobody brought presents at all - my DC have everything, they still have Christmas presents they've not taken out of the packaging and it's getting obscene. DC does NOT need another 30 presents. If anyone asks me I'd be happy to tell them to give nothing at all and DC won't even notice. Can't put that in the invitations though or it feels like a twee "presence not presents" wedding request for money or vouchers!

Also in the past if someone has said they really want to get something the DC likes, but I know they don't have a lot of money, I'd suggest something like Match Attax cards or Panini stickers for my DC, knowing they'd be absolutely thrilled as I refuse to buy them!

harrypoooter Thu 19-Jan-17 18:01:01

Yes they're both for 3 and 4 kids. Same gist last year for the 4 kids but they'd forked out for a magician (not that it matters really) so felt it was maybe a bit much for one of the parents to afford.

Poundland is a great answer actually!

Yes she knows all of them as they're all from the same class! So lots of other parents in the same boat.

Hissy Thu 19-Jan-17 18:21:43

You only need buy for the child who invited you.

Why make it more of a deal than necessary?

MLGs Thu 19-Jan-17 18:32:00

Get vv cheap presents like a box of malteasers as other have said. Get kids to make the cards.

No need to make your kids miss the parties just because others have clubbed together to split the cost of the party.

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