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to be pissed at my husband for not telling me when to stop shopping?

(402 Posts)
Kathmandu12 Thu 19-Jan-17 06:12:44

So my husband and I had an agreement three years ago that he will set aside £900 per month for savings immediately. And that he'd tell me if I'm going overboard with spending. Since I don't manage money well, he takes care of it.

Anyway admittedly sometimes I go overboard (although I return a lot of what I buy) but I keep asking him and he just says he has money.

So now I just found out all we have is $2500, which will go to card payment and my summer class tuition fee.

His salary is £49000 net. We rent, we don't have a car, we have no kids. He has no vices, although he did have a tooth implant and root canal procedure last year which cost a lot.

I don't work but I have an internship that pays a bit, which I put in a savings account - so essentially that's our only savings.

I am pissed because I wasn't expecting this. So if he gets sacked from his job for any reason we won't have money.

KateDaniels2 Thu 19-Jan-17 06:15:16

I think you need to step up and be responsible for your own spending.

luckylucky24 Thu 19-Jan-17 06:15:35

This is bizarre. What are you shopping for and why can't you regulate yourself?

ICJump Thu 19-Jan-17 06:15:57

You are being unreasonable. You are an adult. Work out a budget and stop spending.

SillySongsWithLarry Thu 19-Jan-17 06:16:54

Agree with above. You need to take responsibility for your spending. Surely you know how much you were spending?

Sparklingbrook Thu 19-Jan-17 06:16:54

Is he likely to get sacked? It all sounds like a strange arrangement. And not very adult.

Whatsername17 Thu 19-Jan-17 06:16:56

Yabu. Take responsibility for your own spending. Set a budget and stick to it.

Sparklingbrook Thu 19-Jan-17 06:18:12

When will you start earning properly?

876TaylorMade Thu 19-Jan-17 06:18:50

Wow! Are you a child?

Be an adult and stop spending what you don't have. Make a budget and stick to it!



Kathmandu12 Thu 19-Jan-17 06:19:19

No he isn't likely to get sacked. He got a big pay raise end of the year.

Hopefully by next year I'd be able to find work. I graduate end of this year.

Sparklingbrook Thu 19-Jan-17 06:20:29

So what's the problem? Other than your inability to control your spending of his earnings?

RebelRogue Thu 19-Jan-17 06:21:04

What bills do you pay?

LegoCaltrops Thu 19-Jan-17 06:24:11

So do you have access to view the bank balance? If not, why not? If you're spending it you are (should be) equally responsible. If he won't let you that's another matter. You need to stop spending, shopping isn't a hobby!

Kathmandu12 Thu 19-Jan-17 06:26:19

No, I don't have access to view the bank balance. I never asked him because I thought I was bad with money, he's the one earning, so he takes care of that.

Anyway I just told him from now on he needs to put x amount every month in our joint account (which didn't have money) so I will see it.

Kathmandu12 Thu 19-Jan-17 06:27:54

So what's the problem?

The problem is I told him to tell me if my spending is overboard because we have decided he will set aside money immediately. I know I am wrong for spending so much, but I return most anyway. I guess I miscalculated.

languagelearner Thu 19-Jan-17 06:28:22

It's unreasonable to - and furthermore a waste of time - to be pissed off, it's much better if you choose to get knowledgeable yourself.

Why don't you manage money well? You can read, plan, hold down a responsible internship? What's missing? Is it knowledge about how to set up a budget? Or is it that you need to work on planning and self control? Or is it that your household budget is de facto to small?

KateDaniels2 Thu 19-Jan-17 06:28:46

But thats still him being responsible for your finances.

Why are you reluctant to act like an adult?

KateDaniels2 Thu 19-Jan-17 06:30:33

If you return most of it, why is this a problem?

Where is the big bill from?

How much do you spend per month and what on?

languagelearner Thu 19-Jan-17 06:30:44

Anyway, while you're this pissed off and in the mood for change, why don't you go online and order "Rich dad poor dad" by Robert Kiyosaki, you can buy it in Google play and presumably in iPhone's app store too. A good start, worthwhile, better than going about being pissed off - because then you'll doing something constructive.

Kathmandu12 Thu 19-Jan-17 06:30:56

Because he's the one earning money. I literally have no income except for the small internship allowance.

He seems to not want me to manage it otherwise he'd say I should do it. Admittedly Ive always had problems with budgeting.

paddlenorapaddle Thu 19-Jan-17 06:31:21

You need to have a garage sale or eBay some of the stuff that would be the adult thing to do

But you need to learn to self regulate you sound a little bit princessy biscuit

Chloe84 Thu 19-Jan-17 06:32:30

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Kathmandu12 Thu 19-Jan-17 06:32:41

That's the thing. Maybe the small ones I buy add up since I mostly return the big purchases. I admit I miscalculated but for it to go for almost three years without him telling me, that's why I'm pissed.

He said he did not tell me because shopping is my happiness and it helps me get through studying.

I have Rich Dad Poor Dad in transit, hopefully it will arrive soon.

confusedandemployed Thu 19-Jan-17 06:32:54

Seriously? You're pissed off at your husband because you've overspent?
Are you 5 or does your brain not retain information?
Time to act your age love.

Kathmandu12 Thu 19-Jan-17 06:33:32

OP, you sound like a goady fucker. And welcome to Mumsnet.

What's a "goady fucker"?

And I've only name changed.

And why did you report me?

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