Aibu to go to the doctors about this

[Polarbearsaredangerous]

I'm not sure if this is something a doctor would help with but I don't really know who else to ask
So my "symptoms" are
Unable to make or maintain friendships
Over analysing situations, things I've said or done as well as other people's actions
Anxiety over nearly everything but especially social situations, saying the wrong thing, falling out or arguing etc

I've tried so hard to make friends, I've could literally name around 30 people I've tried to make it work with over the last 15 years, which normally either fizzle out or I get ghosted
Since I was 8 I've felt something isn't right, I can't seem to figure out this social code everyone else just seems to get on with
For the last 30 years it's been my New Years resolution to get out there, make friends but despite trying it never works

It gets me down a lot of the time, even depressed
I don't want to waste a doctors time
What do you think
Thanks

[KathArtic]

Have you tried self help books and websites. What is it you expect the Dr to do?

[Polarbearsaredangerous]

I don't really know tbh
I feel like I'm lacking some kind of social skill, so I didn't know if it's a medical thing or not

[Polarbearsaredangerous]

I have read lots of self help and "how to" articles on the internet
I still don't know where I'm going wrong

[user1471537877]

I don't do armchair diagnosing but many of the things you mention are features of asd and I do have a DD with asd

In the past females have failed to be recognised as historically they were measured against the criteria for males, this is finally starting to improve

Perhaps have a look at female asd, there are a number of good authors on the subject, if you identify with it have a chat with your gp

[Polarbearsaredangerous]

Thanks, I'll have a Google as I've never heard of that
I forgot, I also get obsessed with collecting things, like little toys or ornaments, as soon as I buy one I want to buy them all it becomes an obsession researching them then buying them, (mainly childish things, Disney, lego etc) I don't know if that's anything to do with it

[Polarbearsaredangerous]

And I prefer to dress young, pink and purple and kids clothes
No wonder no one wants to be my friend!! Well I try and keep it under control, no crazy outfits, maybe a pink hoodie and skinny jeans

[HarryPottersMagicWand]

Some of that does sound familiar, including the collecting amd researching. I am awaiting an assessment for aspergers.

There are online tests, which aren't diagnosis but indicators. Look at the Aspergers Quotient. It's thenone psychologists themselves use.

[Ski123]

I'm a medical professional but not a GP (although I have friends that are) If the things you describe are causing you anxiety or worry I would say make an appointment with your GP to discuss them. At the very least it will give you the opportunity to discuss them with someone impartial and they will be able to advise you as to where to look for further advice/ support if it's required.

[Katy07]

Do some research on Asperger's / Autistic Spectrum Condition - and do it before you go to the GP. I'm sure some GPs are fab but I had a really, seriously, diabolically awful one - the sort that wasn't even in the queue when they were handing out bedside manners.

[Silvercatowner]

I would say you'd be better off seeing a relationship counsellor who could help you to analyse where you are going wrong with regard to relationships.

[TheProblemOfSusan]

You've mentioned feeling anxious and depressed in your op - those are reasons to speak to the doctor. There will be reasons underlying the way you feel of course but you're reasonable to go to the doctors for those symptoms.

[HarryPottersMagicWand]

I'm not sure a relationship counsellor is the way to go. They will hardly be able to help with anxiety and depression.

Do you get any sensory issues OP? The psychologist I see said I could end up being told I have attachment disorder because I have the same problems with relationships but as I also have sensory issues, she said it's likely they will lean more towards aspergers. I've also suffered with depression and anxiety alot. But even if it's just those that you have, that could be what is affecting your relationships, so yes it's worth a trip to the GP.

[Polarbearsaredangerous]

I'm very temperature sensitive, I hear things others don't hear, and I'm very sensitive to smells
I did the AQ test I got 38/50, very high
I do feel depressed, I want a friend so badly, I do everything alone, I run alone, shop alone, go for walks alone, even eat out on my own.

[picklemepopcorn]

You are struggling with situations and environments other people are not bothered by. Go to the GP, ask to be referred because you think you may have ASD.
You don't need an emergency appointment, just a routine one. YADNBU?

[Polarbearsaredangerous]

It's true, I'm struggling with life tbh
We've had a lot of changes at work, I hate change, I've been an emotional mess recently, crying or raging at the drop of a hat :(

[user1471537877]

Polar bear

Come over to the special needs boards, there is a specific board for mumsnetters with disabilities where you can get lots of support

You sound so lost and like my DD I could just hug you, asd is a spectrum disorder and from the many sufferers I know anxiety and depression play a huge role

Take a look at hyperaccusis and Misophonia also sensory processing disorders, they all go hand in hand and you describe a number of red flags for these conditions

Please take care of yourself, talk to your gp and take it from there lots of friendly support over on special needs if you need it

[HarryPottersMagicWand]

Similar sensory issues to me. I pick up on noises and can't block them out, I have food issues, hate being touched/hugged unless it's someone I choose to and even then I hate being touched on top of my head, hate the feeling of loose clothes etc. You have a similar AS score to me.

Mumsnetters with SN board has a great thread that isn't just for people who have been diagnosed. It's worth having a look to see if you find your people.

[Polarbearsaredangerous]

Yes I hate people touching me or even standing too close
Thank you for your replies I will have a look in the areas you have suggested x