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AIBU?

AIBU to feel like the weekend skivvy?

242 replies

Alaia5 · 18/01/2017 13:41

Could I ask people who don't know us at all if IABU here? Or moaning about nothing even? Its specific to the way weekends often pan out in this house and I would like to know if other people experience similar. Fine to be told IABU btw.

Last Friday night I hosted quite a formal dinner party at our house for 4 of DH's business associates plus their wives. That's all fine and I've been doing this for years etc. One couple who I've met once before but I don't know that well stayed over as they don't live in London. The next morning DH was up early to take our boys (13 and 11) to sports matches, so I was left with DD (8) and doing brunch for these people who didn't leave until 12 (which I thought was bit late).

Just finished clearing up, changing beds etc by about 2pm when DH got back with the boys. They were all wet and starving, wanting lunch etc. DS2 was getting a cough and DD not too well either. So by the time that was all done with it was 3.30 and practically dark.

On Sundays DH plays rugby and in recent months has got in the habit of bringing random team members back to lunch afterwards. I also try and get the kids to get the homework done Sunday mornings which can be a real headache. I've told DH not to just bring friends unannnounced. So he rang me about 12 to ask if he could bring these two friends as one was locked out and the other one would just like to see me and the kids (this is the third time this particular friend has come since he split from his partner in October). I felt put on the spot because they were obviously standing there with DH when he called. So they ended up coming and then about 3pm they all announced they would take the kids out to fly this drone thing "to give me a break" (i.e. leave me to clear up again, because that's a bit how it felt. Not that I wanted to stand in a field and watch this drone either).

DH had a late flight in Sunday and left at about 7.30. Now he's in China. He's just left a voicemail - firstly to ask if I still want him to book a trip for us to Sorrento at Easter (fine) and secondly to say that his relatives from the Middle East who are coming for dinner on Friday might be staying over Friday night and he's not sure about Saturday because he feels he can't really ask them.

I should also add that on the Thursday night (before the dinner party) he did book a babysitter and took me out to dinner which was lovely and he does do this kind of thing quite regularly. I should also say he works very hard and is lovely most of the time.

AIBU to ask (if you got this far) - does anyone else find that they're so busy cooking / facilitating homework / facilitating sports schedules / hosting guests, etc that they don't actually get to set foot outdoors at the weekend? This tends to happen a fair bit here, especially in winter. WIBU to say something to DH about this or not?

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Fishface77 · 18/01/2017 13:46

Yanbu.
He thinks your his secretary, PA and wife all rolled into 1.
Maybe let him plan one weekend then become unwell? Just so he learns what you actually do.
Also, tell him no friends at all after rugby. Tell him it's family time.
As for family arriving from the Middle East, order a takeaway.
Find a decent catering service so you don't have to cook for his business dinners. (Let him find a catering service).
Small steps may be in order as if you've been doing it for a while it may be difficult to change.
I also Wouldn't announce or make it a discussion i would simply instigate small changes.
Last thing, If he won't ask the family, you ask them.