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To go on this night out?

(6 Posts)
luckylucky24 Wed 18-Jan-17 11:54:55

We have DS(4) and DD(15 months). We adopted DD in October, I had my last night out a month before that and have had lunch with friends once since but no other social gatherings without the kids in tow.
The problem is my friends live 50 miles away so a night out with them usually involves an overnight stay. They have asked for a night out soon and I really want to go but there is one thing stopping me...
DD's sleep is not great at the moment. Hasn't been since just before xmas really as she has cut 4 teeth. DH has text me today saying that the lack of sleep is making him ill - not sure how as I do at least 75% of the wake ups and we alternate who gets up with her in the morning (usually between 5-6am.
Am I being unfair in asking him to have her alone overnight so I can have a night off?
He has had around half a dozen nights out since she arrived and is going to London all day Saturday leaving me with both kids. He thought nothing of it, asked if I minded, hasn't thought twice since about the fact that it will be the 6th day in a row I have had the kids alone. I Don't mind him going just painting a picture. He also had the opportunity to go abroad with work for 5 nights which would have been really hard on me but I agreed as it was a work thing. He didn't go in the end.
He never feels guilty about the amount of time he has away but I feel guilty just thinking about it. I wouldn't if it was just a couple of hours in the day but at night she wakes around 3 times and then gets up early. so aibu? Should I put it off a month or so?

mmgirish Wed 18-Jan-17 12:02:14

No, I don't think you should feel guilty. These double standards make me crazy. Go for it! Have a nice night away. You sound like you deserve it.

KathArtic Wed 18-Jan-17 12:13:15

Children don't sleep and it makes everyone feel ill and tired.

Do you have any relatives your DH can spend a day with? If he only needs them over night he can get up and take them to granny's for the day, and she can look after the kids and cook Sunday lunch whilst he sits in the armchair playing on his phone....thats what everyone else does, right?

luckylucky24 Wed 18-Jan-17 12:14:04

Thanks. I guess its just that when he has a night out he doesn't stay away although it does mean that I put both to bed and do the night wakes and get up the next day so he might as well.
We could easily get someone to have our son so he only has DD.

luckylucky24 Wed 18-Jan-17 12:16:16

Kath, that is what he does EVERY time he has the kids alone for any length. Always has even when we just had DS. Days are not the problem. She is an easy baby during the day. It is the fact that it would be overnight which is the worst part.

Msqueen33 Wed 18-Jan-17 12:18:16

Given the amount of time he has out doing his things why you shouldn't you. I'm assuming you're also the primary caregiver. Kids are hard work so you both deserve a bit of time off to recharge.

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