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Booster/Car seat AIBU???

(30 Posts)
Tryingtostayyoung Wed 18-Jan-17 07:46:30

I'm really really angry but not sure if IABU.
DD and DN both go to my DM after nursery one day a week.
I got sent to a different office by work yesterday and it would have taken me nearly 45mins to get to my DM from there so I asked my DB if he could collect my DD with DN and meet me somewhere that I knew he was going which was much quicker for me.
Last night when we were about to go to bed DD all of a sudden told me that she hadn't sat in a car seat or booster in DB car. I'm really really angry, he has a car seat and booster in his car and if for whatever reason he wasn't able to put her in one I don't understand why he wouldn't have said, I would never put someone's child in my car with out a car/booster seat especially without making the parent aware. AIBU?

GinIsIn Wed 18-Jan-17 07:48:39

Well, how old is your DD and are you sure what she's saying is accurate? Check the facts first before getting so angry.

longdiling Wed 18-Jan-17 07:49:51

Yabu to be angry before speaking to your brother about this. It sounds odd that a brother who was happy to do you a big favour picking them up and had car seats would just not bother using them. Hold your fire until you speak to him.

Tryingtostayyoung Wed 18-Jan-17 07:52:35

Sorry I should have mentioned that I immediately asked him to make sure she wasnt telling lies and he confirmed that she hadn't, he thought I was being dramatic and tbh I just put the phone down because I got really frustrated. Even if he didn't have the seat, my mum would have had no issue giving him one of her seats to use.

ElphabaTheGreen Wed 18-Jan-17 07:53:13

You're sure your DB actually had the car seats in his car at this short notice?

It's a one-off. My four year old DS1 has done two or three one-off trips when necessity called without a car seat. It's not ideal, but sometimes it just is.


ElphabaTheGreen Wed 18-Jan-17 07:55:16


Still think YABU, sorry. You sometimes just have to make do with what you've got at a pinch.

Tryingtostayyoung Wed 18-Jan-17 07:55:39

I agree that sometimes as a last resort then yes but he normally always has a spare booster in his boot and my mum has aswell and wouldn't have minded at all lending him one for DD. The thing is wouldn't you ask the parent anyway? "Yeah sure I don't mind picking DD up BUT I have no seat for her, is that ok? If not I won't be able to".

longdiling Wed 18-Jan-17 07:55:44

Oh. That's a massive piece of information to leave out of your op. It totally reads like you hadn't spoken to him confused. Did he give a reason why?

GinIsIn Wed 18-Jan-17 07:56:22

How old is your DD?

Beebeeeight Wed 18-Jan-17 07:56:30


You are over reacting a bit IMO

Treaclex Wed 18-Jan-17 07:57:21

You've just assumed he's got car seats / boosters though haven't you ? Some days I may have 3 car seats in my car other days just one as they aren't always needed. I think this is a case of it was quicker and easier for you for him to give her a lift just as it was quicker for him to not use/ transfer a car seat from your mums car. How old is your DD ?

MissVictoria Wed 18-Jan-17 07:58:13

I guess the fact i grew up in the era without booster seats and was always fine in cars i don't get why a one off is such a massive issue?

shrunkenhead Wed 18-Jan-17 07:58:31

It's 3 points on his licence if he was caught....

ElphabaTheGreen Wed 18-Jan-17 07:59:56

My DMiL once put DS1 into a friend's car without a car seat, and without asking me first if that was OK. When I found out afterwards, I had a moment of pearl clutching but then when I reasoned that the alternative would have been paying a late-stay at nursery fine, and a ridiculously late night overall for DS1, I got a grip.

Car seats are a pretty new 'thing' OP. Yes, we know better now, and wouldn't be cavalier about them, but the majority of children before our generation still survived infancy without them. I don't think your brother was wilfully putting your DD at risk - just making the best of an unplanned situation.

shrunkenhead Wed 18-Jan-17 08:00:41

I'm guessing under school age so under 4/5 so unless they are giants and v tall for age most likely needed a booster seat.

Tryingtostayyoung Wed 18-Jan-17 08:01:12

She is 4. I think my issue is more that he didn't check with me? I wouldn't put DN in the car without a seat at all by if for whatever reason I didn't have one I would always check first whether that was ok with him. This is all irrelevant because he does have a booster in his boot and my mum has 2 seats which she would have been happy to lend. It was just laziness IMO

Sirzy Wed 18-Jan-17 08:01:19

A nursery age child on a booster seat anyway?

BuggerLumpsAnnoyed Wed 18-Jan-17 08:29:57

so your DB was running round after you and you're in a huff? To be honest, calling him lazy when he's doing you a favour is pretty shitty.

Reality16 Wed 18-Jan-17 08:33:03

It's 3 points on his licence if he was caught.... no, it's not.

Reality16 Wed 18-Jan-17 08:34:14

You can't change the past OP so just do t ask him for any favours again. Problem solved.

Reality16 Wed 18-Jan-17 08:34:21


ArmfulOfRoses Wed 18-Jan-17 08:49:20

Of course it's lazy not to put a 4yo in a car sear that you actually have in the car confused

shrunkenhead Wed 18-Jan-17 09:24:39

What is it, Reality16? I was told if the police caught you it was 3 points. Have I been misinformed?

wasonthelist Wed 18-Jan-17 09:28:44

I thought we didn't do boosters any more?

wasonthelist Wed 18-Jan-17 09:34:00

* I was told if the police caught you it was 3 points. Have I been misinformed?*

Yes, whoever told you that was talking through their hat - it's a fixed penalty fine or up to (IIRC) £500 if dealt with in court.

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