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To be envious of DH and our daughters?

(110 Posts)
crazycoyote Wed 18-Jan-17 07:03:19

It’s just not fair. DH and our daughters look so much younger than they are. It comes from DH’s side of the family. Everyone from his side of the family look significantly younger than they are. DH is 52, but he actually looks like he’s 38. People find it absolutely incomprehensible when he tells them his real age. They demand to see his birth certificate or passport because they simply don’t believe it.

Our daughters (twins) are 33, but they look like they are 18-19. DH can’t even grow a beard – he’s from Kenya, and he says that all the males in his family can’t grow beards. DH has never shaved a day in his life. His chin is so soft and smooth. It comes from his mother, who is 76, but looks 20 years her junior. Apparently DH’s grandmother possessed the same youthful genes.

And it’s not just the youthful faces – DH and our daughters have an extremely efficient metabolism. They just don’t gain weight, no matter how much they eat. Our eldest daughter gave birth to an unbelievably beautiful baby boy last year, but she is still so slim. No baby weight whatsoever.

The ironic thing is that when DH was in his 20 and 30s, his youthful face made him look like a teenager and he hated it. He actually had some insecurity issues because of it. But now he’s older so he’s very content and smug about it. Same with our daughters – they always used to get annoyed about getting asked for ID when buying alcohol or going to watch an 18+ film at the cinema. But now that they are also older, they love looking significantly younger.

And then here I am at 55, and looking every bit my age in both the face and body sad

It’s just not fair.

Are there others here who are blessed to have the “not ageing gene?”

DaftJelly Wed 18-Jan-17 07:07:14

My sisters are pretty blessed. One is nearly 30 and gets accused of being a teenager all the time. The other is mid 30s but looks younger.

I'm late 30s and look late 40s confused

I do think darker skin ages better, in general.

HecateAntaia Wed 18-Jan-17 07:08:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ParadiseCity Wed 18-Jan-17 07:10:57

There's over a decade between me and DH. No one can believe it though. angry

Whatsername17 Wed 18-Jan-17 07:12:20

Me. I'm 33 but everyone thinks I'm in my mid 20s. I'm pretty sure the imminent 2nd baby will change that though.

ZouBisou Wed 18-Jan-17 07:12:44

There's a guy at work who is 52, but looks like he's in his thirties, or even late twenties at a push. It's incredible. He's from the Philippines. Maybe some ethnicities have better/fewer aging genes, or whatever the correct scientific term is?

It must be annoying when you seem to be aging faster than your family OP...But remember it's what's on the inside that counts etc etc wink

Sipperskipper Wed 18-Jan-17 07:19:48

My husband is 31, looks about 17. Can never buy alcohol without ID. Someone knocked at our house selling something a few weeks ago and asked him, 'are your mum and dad in?'.

I on the other hand, have been asked twice if I have GRANDCHILDREN! I am also 31!!

crazycoyote Wed 18-Jan-17 07:22:30


Thanks for that post. Made me laugh!

Mindtrope Wed 18-Jan-17 07:26:52

OP in the kindest way your problem isn't your family- it's your attitude towards it- especially your daughters.
Do you really want your daughter to be carrying a couple of extra stones of baby weight?
Why not be delighted for them that they have some good genetic characteristics.
Maybe you need to invest some energy in your own self rather than be envious of others.

Laiste Wed 18-Jan-17 07:34:17

There's 11 years between me and DH. I'm the older, but we look the same age. We're late 30s and late 40s. He's good looking but works outdoors and doesn't look after his skin (great body though grin) but I've been slapping on the sunblock and looking after my skin since early teens.

Lately i've been wondering how long this 'looks' situation will go on; my jawline is not as smooth as it was and you can't fight nature for ever. Does it bother me? Yes! wink I'm vain and don't want to look older than him.

crazycoyote Wed 18-Jan-17 07:36:56


Perhaps I should have made it clearer in the original post - I'm being lighthearted. I always joke about it with my husband and daughters. My daughter's husbands are several years older than their wives, and they look every bit their age - and they always have a laugh about it with me, too.

And I'm not going to lie - of course I'd like to have the ability to eat whatever I wanted without gaining anything, or to look 15 years my junior.

thethoughtfox Wed 18-Jan-17 07:39:17

Naomi Campbell once said 'Black don't crack'. I am very pale skinned and my round face always made me look years younger but not so much any more sad

SharingMichelle Wed 18-Jan-17 07:39:25

My beautiful friend has 19 yr old twin daughters. She is 41. Photos of the three of them look like triplets. It's sickening! Or if would be if I didn't love them all.

Meanwhile I seem to spend an increasing amount of time in front if the mirror pulling my neck skin tight under my ears "just to see"... grin

ErnesttheBavarian Wed 18-Jan-17 07:43:23

Not exactly the same but similar - my dh, if I may say so was not a very handsome teen/twenty something. Now he's getting older, he's really growing into his face somehow. His hair is fairly light brown, and the few grey hairs he has both blend in and also serve to make him look distinguished and elegant.

Me? My dark brown hair is at least 60 % white, and I have felt forced to dye it, which is a PITA, but I just look wrinkley and middle aged and NOT distinguished. I grew into, and back out of my face a long time ago. So we are exactly the same age, but he definitely looks much better.

OP, I sympathise. Well, at least you have given your dds youthful beauty, even if you can't have it yourself.

lljkk Wed 18-Jan-17 07:45:25

If you're jealous then you are part of the culture that believes that only young can be beautiful & attractive or even acceptable. tsk tsk. I'm well sick of Worship of Youth. yabu

MrsRhubarb Wed 18-Jan-17 07:49:40

Yep, me, my grandma and my auntie all look younger than we are. It has been mildly inconvenient at times, but I just always made sure I had ID with me if I was going out or going to buy alcohol. My auntie used to get into the cinema for student prices in her thirties. Grandma was once given a child's bus ticket, despite the fact that by that age she was married with two daughters!

I'd rather look my age and not gain weight though.

INeedNewShoes Wed 18-Jan-17 08:04:11

Looking younger than you are isn't always a good thing. Its a hinderance.

I think I must be looking my age now because this no longer happens, but I was constantly being ID'd throughout my twenties. Its actually blood annoying when that happens if you've just popped out to buy bits and pieces and haven't got ID on you.

Then there's the fact that I've generally always been attracted to men who are a few years older than me who probably dismissed me as being too young at sight.

Then there's being taken seriously in the workplace. With longterm colleagues its fine because they get to know you, but looking as though you're probably the intern and finished school yesterday isn't very helpful for first impressions.

Why the obsession with everyone wanting to look younger than they are? Its silly. One of the most attractive women I know is in her fifties. She doesn't look attractive because she looks younger than she is, its because she's beautiful!

Ooh just realised this is in AIBU...


wonderingsoul Wed 18-Jan-17 08:05:29

My dp is african american and weve had this conversation before.

His dad is late 50s but looks in hes 30s., hes also said the 'black dont crack' saying. Dp doesnt look hes age of 30.

Im 31 and still get id.... i wonder how long this will last. I am fat though... id love to look my age.. or older... if it meant i could be slim

OnionKnight Wed 18-Jan-17 08:22:57

My wife and I look young for our ages, it's nice but on occasion we are asked for proof of age when buying alcohol.

ZippyNeedsFeeding Wed 18-Jan-17 08:35:13

MrZippy has looked 50 since he was about 35. It used to annoy him a lot because people would assume he was my dad (I am also 20ish years younger than him, which didn't help). Once or twice people have thought he was my grandfather.
Now he's nearly 65, he still looks like he's in his 50's and nobody believes him when he says he is about to retire.
I'm not sure how old I look, I think it may very much depend on the kind of day I'm having!

TaliZorahVasNormandy Wed 18-Jan-17 08:47:34

My family seem to age slowly. We get it from my mum. Shes 59 but barely looks 50. My sister is 37 and has an 19 year old. She doesnt even look like shes got to 30 yet.. I'm always mistaken for a teen and I'm 33.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Wed 18-Jan-17 08:56:29

Some days I find some mirrors in our house are definitely kinder than others grin but no, can't say one side of the family is genetically better off than the other.

0hT00dles Wed 18-Jan-17 08:58:41

My DH and I both look young for our ages. I'm turning 30 and he's 32. Whenever anyone knocks on our door, they always ask to speak to our parents as they are not allowed to speak to under 18's. Politicians do it constantly as well! When I was 9 months pregnant, a guy knocked on my door and asked 'are your mummy and daddy in?' I politely told him, no, that would be difficult as this is my house and they live elsewhere. We constantly get id'd on our date nights. Both our families seem to age pretty well and no one really looks their age!

NavyandWhite Wed 18-Jan-17 09:00:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TimeIhadaNameChange Wed 18-Jan-17 09:00:55

I have three male friends, X, Y and Z. When my mother first met them she thought that X was near her age, so about 70, thought Y looked a few years younger than his real age (which she knew to be 53) so about 50, and Z was about 40.

In actual fact they were all within a couple of years of each other. X was a a few months short of 53, Y was 53 and Z was 54. All Caucasian, from a similar background, non-smokers.

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