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To not want to date a tory?

(383 Posts)
VladmirsPoutine Tue 17-Jan-17 14:57:31

I know you don't have to date anyone you don't want to. But I'm currently dating someone who's told me he's a tory. He's a good person and I like him but I can't really get to grips with his ideologies about things. I'm politically aware but not active iyswim? I'd basically be ending the relationship purely because he's a tory but he's not actually a bad person so I feel a bit ridiculous.

lampshady Tue 17-Jan-17 15:00:06

I wouldn't date someone who had opposing political views to me. For you I suppose it depends on how right wing he is.

ThinkPinkStink Tue 17-Jan-17 15:00:27

I grateful that DH isn't a Tory, I imagine I'd love him even if he were, but it'd be a bitter pill to swallow.

I have some Tory friends - I view them almost like exotic creatures, I also have favourite Tories (Kirsty Allsopp).

Destinysdaughter Tue 17-Jan-17 15:00:36

Personally I wouldn't do it as our values would be so different that we would be incompatible.

Does he support Trump? Total dealbreaker IMO

ThinkPinkStink Tue 17-Jan-17 15:00:39


WildBelle Tue 17-Jan-17 15:01:25

I couldn't. When I've done OLD I've made it clear on my profile that I'm a massive lefty, that seems to deter them.

Bodicea Tue 17-Jan-17 15:03:38

I don't think a persons politics is that important in the grand scheme of things. Unless one of you works in politics. Think of the impassioned debates you can have.

FootBone Tue 17-Jan-17 15:04:31

There is nothing less sexy than a Tory.

DJBaggySmalls Tue 17-Jan-17 15:05:20

I did and it lasted 3 months.

wasonthelist Tue 17-Jan-17 15:05:44

I'd want to understand more before deciding - I have some (a few) Tory friends. In most cases we agree on the issues but differ about solutions. In many cases they are honest decent people who have been good friends and I can respect their right to an opinion even though I disagree.

There hasn't been a lot to choose between Labour and Tories since Blair anyway - it's anathema to me that Blair was such a Thatcher apologist that tosser Brown invited her for tea - so in some ways despite being on the Dennis Skinner wing of the party I'd be more worried about a "Tory lite" Labour supporter.

FrankAndBeans Tue 17-Jan-17 15:06:33

DP voted Tory but identifies with the Green Party more. We just don't talk about politics.

CripsSandwiches Tue 17-Jan-17 15:06:41

I wouldn't date someone whose views were completely different to mine. Obviously where you draw the line is down to personal preference.

SolomanDaisy Tue 17-Jan-17 15:07:02

I couldn't do it.

VladmirsPoutine Tue 17-Jan-17 15:08:02

FrankAndBeans How did that happen? The Greens and the Conservatives aren't cut from the same school of politics at all.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Tue 17-Jan-17 15:08:20

Dh and I have different political views. Brexit was fun in this house!

SolomanDaisy Tue 17-Jan-17 15:08:20

Why would you vote Tory if you 'identify' Green?! There's virtually no policy overlap.

gamerchick Tue 17-Jan-17 15:08:23

My husband used to be when we got together.

He isn't anymore.

pipsqueak25 Tue 17-Jan-17 15:09:09

if you don't want to be with someone then don't waste your time [or theirs for that matter], sorry but it's not rocket science is it? politics, religion, culture any stark differences are always likely to cause opposing opinions and there are better things to be doing than arguing or debating.

picklemepopcorn Tue 17-Jan-17 15:09:40

People change their politics...
I've gone more left, DH has gone more right.

peeinthepotty Tue 17-Jan-17 15:09:48

Husband is BNP but I still love him.

Just kidding grin

My DH has been centre left most of his days but has recently started to identify more with the right.
We're Scottish and voted to remain part of the U.K and I think the downturn in Labour up here has pushed him more towards the throws because we are not (and never will be) SNP supporters.

peeinthepotty Tue 17-Jan-17 15:10:14

*tories not throws!!

CactusFred Tue 17-Jan-17 15:10:34

I was raised by a Daily Mail reading Tory and turned out a Liberal Lefty. I could marry a Tory if he wasn't too right wing and as per pp above, if he supported Trump I'd steer clear!

5moreminutes Tue 17-Jan-17 15:10:55

I don't know, you could have some good debates/ discussions... Could be quiet fun to have something to argue about if you can keep it purely impersonal... Would be fine while only dating I think but having incompatible world views might make it inadvisable to move on to living together / marriage as you might start to dislike one another for your views after the honeymoon period...

Depends on why he is a Tory, and how extreme his views are, and why you aren't and how far that is a reflection of deep seated beliefs and personality on both your parts, or whether it is more superficial and prone to change I suspect...

ManonLescaut Tue 17-Jan-17 15:12:07

I couldn't date a Tory. But a pro-Brexit Tory would be beyond the pale.

HelenaGWells Tue 17-Jan-17 15:12:32

For me there's no political party that I feel represents me right now so I don't honestly know. I think DH is the same.

Me and DH are on the same side re brexit and trump. I think I would have struggled a LOT if we hadn't been.

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