Advanced search

To ask DH to relocate?

(7 Posts)
PlumFairy2014 Tue 17-Jan-17 11:24:22

I am from the North, to help DH progress in his career we moved 6 hours South. This was 6 years ago now.
I didn't mind so much while it was just the two of us, but now we have DD I lost a lot of my old friend group and find it hard being so far away from all my siblings (all bar one are still up North).
DD is 2 and I feel we can't leave it much longer before moving, if we're going to.
We had a house we were buying here, but the seller pulled out after 6 months of delaying, we're still unsure why. It cost a lot and was stressful. House prices went up so we're now in the process of buying again, but it's smaller and needs a lot of work.
I'm just not sure if it's cold feet about the possible house or if I can ever really be happily settled this far from home. It has caused many arguments (not shouty, just me being down) over the years. More so since we had a DD and I have had no support, except DH who often has to work long hours.
Recently DD has been poorly and a close relative back home has had a big operation. Both of these have been hard.
DH wouldn't have to take a pay cut moving, so we could get a much better and bigger house up there. Work isn't too sparse but it can be competitive. My area of work would be doable there too.
I'm not even sure why I am posting. I just feel really conflicted that I am wanting to cause the family stress, when I should just be more adult about it and get over it.

PlumFairy2014 Tue 17-Jan-17 11:27:06

Just to add it is hard visiting as it's so far and we are comfortable, but not enough to go up a lot. Plus we both work.

Blossomdeary Tue 17-Jan-17 11:27:14

What is his reason for not wanting to move? Does he have a big circle of friends in the S? Would his career be badly harmed?

AgentProvocateur Tue 17-Jan-17 11:29:58

Can you build up your support where you are? You could exchange bsbsitting with other parents you meet at toddler groups, for example. It's a lot to give up two jobs to relocate elsewhere.

PlumFairy2014 Tue 17-Jan-17 11:41:35

I think it's comfort and stability keeping him here. It would be much easier to stay. We lived up there together a few years before we moved and he went to uni up there, so he probably has more friends up there than here.
He has a few friends, he isn't the most sociable person, so that doesn't bother him much.
You're right Agent, it is a lot to give up the two jobs.
I have a few Mum friends, but only as we have kids the same age. It just feels quite hollow.

PlumFairy2014 Tue 17-Jan-17 11:43:06

Career wise he wouldn't be harmed. He has reached a good position, so could just go to another company in the same position.

PlumFairy2014 Tue 17-Jan-17 11:43:39

I would feel so guilty about moving DD's nursery though, she took SO long to settle. sad

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: