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To ask DH to relocate?

(7 Posts)
PlumFairy2014 Tue 17-Jan-17 11:24:22

I am from the North, to help DH progress in his career we moved 6 hours South. This was 6 years ago now.
I didn't mind so much while it was just the two of us, but now we have DD I lost a lot of my old friend group and find it hard being so far away from all my siblings (all bar one are still up North).
DD is 2 and I feel we can't leave it much longer before moving, if we're going to.
We had a house we were buying here, but the seller pulled out after 6 months of delaying, we're still unsure why. It cost a lot and was stressful. House prices went up so we're now in the process of buying again, but it's smaller and needs a lot of work.
I'm just not sure if it's cold feet about the possible house or if I can ever really be happily settled this far from home. It has caused many arguments (not shouty, just me being down) over the years. More so since we had a DD and I have had no support, except DH who often has to work long hours.
Recently DD has been poorly and a close relative back home has had a big operation. Both of these have been hard.
DH wouldn't have to take a pay cut moving, so we could get a much better and bigger house up there. Work isn't too sparse but it can be competitive. My area of work would be doable there too.
I'm not even sure why I am posting. I just feel really conflicted that I am wanting to cause the family stress, when I should just be more adult about it and get over it.

PlumFairy2014 Tue 17-Jan-17 11:27:06

Just to add it is hard visiting as it's so far and we are comfortable, but not enough to go up a lot. Plus we both work.

Blossomdeary Tue 17-Jan-17 11:27:14

What is his reason for not wanting to move? Does he have a big circle of friends in the S? Would his career be badly harmed?

AgentProvocateur Tue 17-Jan-17 11:29:58

Can you build up your support where you are? You could exchange bsbsitting with other parents you meet at toddler groups, for example. It's a lot to give up two jobs to relocate elsewhere.

PlumFairy2014 Tue 17-Jan-17 11:41:35

I think it's comfort and stability keeping him here. It would be much easier to stay. We lived up there together a few years before we moved and he went to uni up there, so he probably has more friends up there than here.
He has a few friends, he isn't the most sociable person, so that doesn't bother him much.
You're right Agent, it is a lot to give up the two jobs.
I have a few Mum friends, but only as we have kids the same age. It just feels quite hollow.

PlumFairy2014 Tue 17-Jan-17 11:43:06

Career wise he wouldn't be harmed. He has reached a good position, so could just go to another company in the same position.

PlumFairy2014 Tue 17-Jan-17 11:43:39

I would feel so guilty about moving DD's nursery though, she took SO long to settle. sad

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