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For finding this hilarious

(41 Posts)
bibbetybobbetybooo Tue 17-Jan-17 08:16:41

I'm in bed, not very well and I'm listening to my husband freaking out over getting our child ready for school.

He hasn't organised anything.

I put out the uniform/coat/shoes/bag/food etc and all he has to do is take our child to school.

He's not left enough time to sort everything. The car needs de-icing and he's having a meltdown.

Now, I know it's not funny for our child as they have to deal with Daddy but what I'm finding funny is that he's finally getting his comeuppance.

He's never had to do that much until recently. I've been the one taking our children to school; I get everything ready; I do the shopping etc etc
He's pretty much been able to pootle on with his own life and -oooh look, I can be fun Dad and pretend like I'm doing stuff for a few minutes.

He's now having to actual do the normal stuff. The boring stuff. The responsible stuff. And I'm thoroughly enjoying it. What I'm not enjoying is the teenage-style whinging and bitching that he is finding it hard and the fact that he expects a massive round of applause or some kind of fucking medal for, well...parenting!

Sgtmajormummy Tue 17-Jan-17 08:25:55

This is not going to go well, OP. Brace yourself.
I'll just put it kindly: he needed to know this stuff before it reached crisis point.

tabithasgran Tue 17-Jan-17 08:33:17

Hahah brilliant. It will make or break him. Don't forget to go overboard on the 'thank you sooo much for helping me out' stuff too. grin

monkeywithacowface Tue 17-Jan-17 08:35:50

What's funny about being married to an incompetent tool who doesn't pull his wait with family life or having to spoon feed a man child by getting everything ready when you are ill?

monkeywithacowface Tue 17-Jan-17 08:36:21

weight not wait hmm

harderandharder2breathe Tue 17-Jan-17 08:37:11

What monkey said is spot on

It's not funny, you've allowed him to carry on deliberately incompetent for this long.

Ilovecaindingle Tue 17-Jan-17 08:38:44

Well as you now know he is capable I hope you make sure its a regular contribution to him sharing the load,!

theaveragewife Tue 17-Jan-17 08:46:45

It's not funny, you've allowed him to carry on deliberately incompetent for this long.

It's not right that in these situations the woman is reprimanded for taking on all the 'duties' of a wife, but then also for not teaching her husband to do so - as that is her responsibility, not his. A really weird juxtaposition.

Society still expects women to do all the shitwork, families, teachers, doctors, people you meet in the supermarket will still expect women to get things ready, to do the shopping, to be the fucking cleaner. It's no surprise when women dutifully go about this work.

Instead of berating her for not 'teaching' her husband that he needs to step up and beating her down more, we could help her in less of a bitchy and soul destroying way?

bibbetybobbetybooo Tue 17-Jan-17 08:50:11

I completely agree that it's not funny that he's been like this for so long.

However - I haven't 'allowed' him. He knows what needs to be done; he's been shown and he can do it (when he actually thinks about it)

The problem is - you cannot force someone. He's often away on business and is a 'head-in-the-clouds' cerebral type of person and it just doesn't enter his head that all this stuff happens.

I swear he thinks that clothes magically get ironed and the pixies tidy the house.

I've definitely not allowed it. But I suppose I've had to get on and do stuff as otherwise it just wouldn't get done. At all.

He's brilliant in many other ways. He cooks every night; he works bloody hard but he just doesn't see the things that keep the household ticking over.

bibbetybobbetybooo Tue 17-Jan-17 08:51:34

Thank you, averagewife. Xxx
I'm not his mother. I shouldn't have to teach him.

ErrolTheDragon Tue 17-Jan-17 08:51:34

flowershope you feel better soon. And hope your DH grows up.

ITA, average. Sometimes if one person has been responsible for a particular function in a family, another person taking it over may need a bit of help, but they should have the wit to realise it might take them a bit longer, and think about it ahead of time.

LoisWilkersonsLastNerve Tue 17-Jan-17 08:51:56

He hasn't taught himself to do the shitwork, I would be laughing my ass off too. All the way to the divorce lawyer. wink

Groovee Tue 17-Jan-17 08:52:54

Dh was pretty good when I ended up in hospital having to have emergency surgery. It was when he phoned the ward asking when Dd had last had a tetanus for a form. I made a point of training the kids to know these things.

BIWI Tue 17-Jan-17 08:52:56

I suspect you'll find that you're so poorly you have to be in bed for at least a week ...

grin

Only1scoop Tue 17-Jan-17 08:53:31

'He's brilliant in other ways'
Love that old chestnut.
I'd leave him to it more often. He obviously needs practice.

bibbetybobbetybooo Tue 17-Jan-17 08:54:26

Oh he's going to get plenty more practice. I've clearly got man-flu and I'm dying. Dying, I tell you.

Topseyt Tue 17-Jan-17 08:56:03

I am with OP. I do find this sort of thing funny.

MycatsaPirate Tue 17-Jan-17 08:59:44

Love it.

I did a similar thread last year when I was in hospital and then on enforced bed rest for nearly a month after.

It was wonderful seeing my family having to get their fingers our their arses and actually look for things that need doing instead of waiting for me to do it.

And yes I got a few 'well why aren't your family helping more anyway?' posts but most people got it. It's just a nice smug feeling isn't it?

TiggyCBE Tue 17-Jan-17 09:00:35

You've helped him to be useless at some stuff and now you're thinking it's funny that he's useless at some stuff. He should LTB.

TheMartiansAreInvadingUs Tue 17-Jan-17 09:09:57

It's not funny, you've allowed him to carry on deliberately incompetent for this long.

Errr... because it's the woman's role to ensure that her DH doesn't take the piss? And to 'force' him to take responsibility?
If that isn't babying him again, I don't know what it is.

OP I get what you are saying. I've been in a similar position.
However, I did take the position that actually, yes my DH, a full grown adult, needed to be treated like a child. He needed to be 'forced' to take responsibility. He needed to be told in no uncertain terms that his attitude stunk. He needed to not be allowed to get away with murder, just like a teenager.
Please use that as a wake up call for you and him. There is no reason why he shouldn't take responsibility too (not the least because when you are ill, away or whatever, he needs to be able to do all those things)

shovetheholly Tue 17-Jan-17 09:12:07

I laughed. Make sure he has to deal with it every day from now on- no excuses for opting out in future!

ohtheholidays Tue 17-Jan-17 09:12:37

I'd be sat in bed like this grin whilst rubbing my hands together.

You should make yourself a new game to play OP whilst your laying in bed listening to him whingeing.

MN Bingo but instead of it being for weddings(poems for money,no children allowed)you could mark of what he's moaning about grin

Zaphodsotherhead Tue 17-Jan-17 09:12:48

I agree with OP, having been married to a man like this myself. You cannot force anyone to do anything they don't want to. You can carefully, and point-by-point, show they how to get a child up, dressed and ready, and they will nod and go 'yes, yes', all the while knowing they don't have to remember this, because, if they take long enough, you will do it.

And how many times do you carefully, and point-by-point, show them with them never taking over, however much you try? My ex knew how to put the children to bed, of course he did, he was a functioning adult, but I still came home every time to them all over the house in filthy clothes and him asleep in front of the TV. You cannot make an adult parent.

He's an ex, though. And not just for that.

anahata Tue 17-Jan-17 09:13:57

The Average Wife exactly this!

Crispmonster1 Tue 17-Jan-17 09:16:26

grine

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