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To have called in sick (again!) and now not know what to do?

(156 Posts)
username1317 Tue 17-Jan-17 08:13:02

I've been ill with a string of back to back colds/fluey viruses since before Christmas. I have a toddler in nursery who of course gets everything and brings it home.

I had a long break at Christmas but was really ill with an awful cough and cold for all of it and we went to stay with family for a week (was planned for ages and they live the other side of the uk so rarely get to see them) which with lo wasn't very restful. When is Christmas with kids!

I've had quite a few days off here and there since being back. Some mornings after no sleep with ill toddler on top of being ill myself I just can't imagine getting through a day's work. Some days he's been ill and I've had to stay home with him rather than send him to nursery. Whenever I've been off he's been home (two times I was off sick nursery phoned me to pick him up because he was sick too) so I don't feel I've really had any time to rest or get better. I had to call DH home from work yesterday and Friday because I was too ill to look after toddler all day.

To add to the mire I've just told my boss that I'm planning on leaving. Not officially handed in my notice yet but said I plan to soon and would spend the next however many weeks getting things ship shape to pass on to someone else. It's a stressful job in a disorganised organisation. Boss appreciated me telling them and stressed how highly they regard me.

I've just called in sick again (was off at the end of last week) and sent my boss an email saying I need to actually rest and get better rather than drag myself in and hang on by the skin of my teeth again until I can't do it any more and have to take another random day. I stressed this had nothing to do with my decision to leave but is just terrible timing and I want to get better so I can do a good job.

DH and DS have just left in the dark to do a day at work / nursery and I'm here in bed with the house to myself for the first time in 18 months. I think I'm having some kind of existential crisis! I feel so guilty but at the same time so full of dread at the idea of more struggling through illness and sleep deprivation.

Have a done the right thing and what the hell do I do with my day to properly rest but not feel like a useless lay about? How on earth do other working mums get through winter with constant illnesses? Am I just rubbish at life?

Northernlurker Tue 17-Jan-17 08:16:48

It sounds like you've had a lot of time off because you've been really unwell. Have you still got a cough? Busy working mums are a typical group who get pneumonia and are too busy to notice - so called walking pneumonia. If nothing is really getting better then I would suggest trying to see a GP today. If you think it's just viral then stay in bed till lunchtime then sit on the sofa with a huge glass of water or orange juice and empty it every hour.

username1317 Tue 17-Jan-17 08:26:00

I do still have a cough, though not as 'productive' (tmi). I read somewhere that GP surgeries have been clogged up with people suffering a particularly nasty cough virus that lasts weeks this winter. I've taken DS to the doctors I don't known how many times because of a constant cough and streaming nose and they listen to his chest and tell me it's viral and what to expect with a toddler's first winter in nursery. I'm so exhausted by it all.

OhhBetty Tue 17-Jan-17 08:26:03

Get to gp! I've been ill since September but it's unlikely to get better as I can't take time off work (no sick pay, single mum, terrified of getting in trouble at work, toddler on all my days off.) If you're ill and you can then you should take time off until you're fully recovered otherwise you'll keep getting worse. I should go to the drs as I have persistent chest pain but they've tried to sign me off 4 times and I just can't afford it! If I were you I would get myself better. I hope you're well soon flowers

heebiejeebie Tue 17-Jan-17 08:28:26

I think your day off threshold might be set a bit low.

ChuckSnowballs Tue 17-Jan-17 08:28:35

Stay in bed and get some rest. Close MN down and sleep.

Grindelwaldswand Tue 17-Jan-17 08:29:01

Me and DP are in the same boat OP i have autoimmune disease so I can't fight anything off and then I fetch it home to DP too sad ive just recovered from 2 throat infections the flu and a cold all in the space of 2 month's !! I wish there was a magic pill that could make me bettersad

username1317 Tue 17-Jan-17 08:30:29

Ohhbetty that sounds rough. confusedflowers

No sick pay here either (crap contract) and we are skint. Due to some serious illness a couple of years ago that made me quite anxious I think my GP gave me down as a neurotic time waster.

JellyWitch Tue 17-Jan-17 08:33:39

It's been not much better here. I've been sick straight after the Christmas break, then my husband was, now it's my 7 year old. I'm expecting the toddler to be poorly next.

You just have to hope for understanding work.

Grindelwaldswand Tue 17-Jan-17 08:33:50

I don't get sick pay either so we loose about £70 a day when im off which is a huge amount to us so then i feel pressured to go back into work when im still not recovered and i end up even more ill and worse off. Its a never-ending tireless cycle and my boss hasn't actually dealt with anyone like me before so they don't know how to handle it besides asking for sick notes as proof and offering me holiday pay

username1317 Tue 17-Jan-17 08:35:19

heebiejeebie maybe it is. I could work through it if I thought it would get better. It's cumulative effect as much as anything.

But what you've said is what I'm worried my boss and husband think.

IAmAGnu Tue 17-Jan-17 08:37:07

You are sick, not a useless layabout. Spend the day in bed. You don't have to do anything. Sleep, get plenty of fluids, sleep some more.

toyd Tue 17-Jan-17 08:37:15

Same here, haven't seen a doctor for 8 years but have had to recently, due to never ending cough and illness. Stop feeling bad OP, people know you're not a shirker. <people always know>

lauryloo Tue 17-Jan-17 08:38:16

Hope you feel better soon. I had an awful cold/flu/cough last year that I worked through and I ended up with a few months off in the end with pneumonia!

Flisstizzy Tue 17-Jan-17 08:41:04

*I think your day off threshold might be set a bit low.*

This

Crumbs1 Tue 17-Jan-17 08:42:01

I'm afraid as a manager I'd be quite disappointed in you. I'd be cross if someone persisted in having odd days here and there for a child with a cold/virus I am usually very tolerant of staff with situations where they need to juggle and flex as much as possible but you seem to be taking the mickey. You can go away on holiday but can't turn up for work regularly.
You sound like you aren't coping with the demands of a child and work. Perhaps instead of taking continuous days off, you should give up work? Life would be easier for you. Otherwise go to bed earlier so you aren't 'sleep deprived' (new word for a bit tired) and turn up for work.

VivDeering Tue 17-Jan-17 08:42:46

Could it be a case that you're rushing back too soon (understandably) and never fully recovering, so that your body is then not strong enough to fight off the next bug?
It's a vicious cycle to break.

You sound as though you're giving yourself a hard time. Could you google "self care"?

pandarific Tue 17-Jan-17 08:44:15

Go to the doctor and mention the cough has stayed for X many weeks - if they look to be taking you seriously then great. If not, mention pneumonia and see what they say. At least they may be able to assess your health and possibly give you a sick note if you need one which you can show your boss.

empirerecordsrocked Tue 17-Jan-17 08:46:47

Sometime you have to suck it up and go in - even if you are ow level sick and have had no sleep.

How many days have you actually had off?

username1317 Tue 17-Jan-17 08:47:36

*Sleep deprived (new word for a bit tired)
*
No, it's what happens when you've had a baby and not slept for more than three hours in one stretch for a year who then has a cough for months which means he wakes up every hour hacking, loosing his dummy and screaming while you're crying with a temperature holding him in the night and wondering how you're going to earn enough to pay the rent if you dare admit you're ill.

Call me out on whatever else but this is shite angry

HermioneJeanGranger Tue 17-Jan-17 08:48:12

Are you really calling in sick because you haven't slept properly? confused

OnionKnight Tue 17-Jan-17 08:49:09

*I'm afraid as a manager I'd be quite disappointed in you. I'd be cross if someone persisted in having odd days here and there for a child with a cold/virus I am usually very tolerant of staff with situations where they need to juggle and flex as much as possible but you seem to be taking the mickey. You can go away on holiday but can't turn up for work regularly.
You sound like you aren't coping with the demands of a child and work. Perhaps instead of taking continuous days off, you should give up work? Life would be easier for you. Otherwise go to bed earlier so you aren't 'sleep deprived' (new word for a bit tired) and turn up for work.*

I agree.

My manager is very laid back, I can work from home at the drop of a hat but if I kept having odd days off because I had a cold and I felt tired she'd rightly get a bit annoyed.

I think OP is taking the piss TBH.

HermioneJeanGranger Tue 17-Jan-17 08:50:38

And agree with PP that sometimes you have to suck it up, take some painkillers and just get on with it. Working when you have a cold is shit but when you have bills to pay, you do what you have to do.

I am surprised you've not been pulled up by a manager for too many absences, though.

Trifleorbust Tue 17-Jan-17 08:51:40

Well, people can have their opinions on your reasons for being off (and you did ask!) but the answer to what you should do now you are off is very simple: rest up. Go to bed, get some sleep and don't feel guilty about it. You have called in sick so now you should use that time as it is intended to be used. Get well soon!

OddBoots Tue 17-Jan-17 08:52:19

Why are all the night times falling to you, why hasn't your dh done any of them in the past year to allow you a full night of sleep?

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