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AIBU - To feel sad and disappointed about my baby shower?

(285 Posts)
user1483385529 Tue 17-Jan-17 06:38:47

I'll start off by saying I'm pregnant and emotional and probably overthinking this but....

My sister kindly offered to throw me a baby shower at the end of Jan (DS1 is due in Feb). I gave her a list of people to invite in early Dec. Everyone has said they can't come except two colleagues, two neighbours (who are a couple) with one of their mums that I know, my mum and sister (MIL lives up North and can't make it down). Now bearing in mind people had notice and I only have a couple of friends with children, AIBU to be feeling very unpopular that hardly anyone is coming? I just feel like calling it off but I know my sister will have put effort in, but it's really upset me. To give a bit of back ground I've never had lots of friends, I'm quite a home bird but I just thought those people I did class as friends would make the effort (I do live about an hours drive away from some of them and others would have to get the tube). AIBU and should I stop crying over this?

Sirzy Tue 17-Jan-17 06:41:43

I have to admit I would be "busy" if invited to a baby shower as they really aren't my cup of tea!

Enjoy the event with the people who are there, don't worry about those who aren't.

Starypjs Tue 17-Jan-17 06:43:33

I never go to baby showers I don't understand them at all.

NavyandWhite Tue 17-Jan-17 06:44:54

Aw OP. Bloody hell don't cry love.
They aren't real mates if they cba to come are they?
Why don't you go for a nice afternoon tea with your sister? Bin the baby shower.

Hotbot Tue 17-Jan-17 06:45:23

Cancel it , baby showers are ridiculous

DancingPenguin1 Tue 17-Jan-17 06:45:40

That sounds like a nice size group of people. I too hate baby showers, would only go for my very closet (and then grin and bear it)

Lonoxo Tue 17-Jan-17 06:45:40

For some people, a baby shower is not seen as an important event, not a must attend like a wedding.

Go ahead with it. It's important to mark life changes. Small can be nice.

TheGardenOfEdenExists Tue 17-Jan-17 06:46:23

I would only go the the baby shower of a very good friend and then under (silent) duress. Not my cup of tea but I would grin and bear it for about 4 women I can think of. Fortunately, they feel the same as me and haven't had / aren't planning baby showers.

Your friends could feel similarly.

Hotbot Tue 17-Jan-17 06:46:25

With your spare time watch a movie have choc. Do something nice for you

coconutpie Tue 17-Jan-17 06:46:46

YABU - baby showers are tacky and grabby. You're basically demanding people give you / your baby gifts. You should be grateful that anybody has actually said they'd come - I definitely would decline a baby shower.

Gizlotsmum Tue 17-Jan-17 06:46:55

I don't like baby showers and didn't go to my sil's. I love her but I just don't do baby showers and would rather not go than fail to fake having fun...

AyeAmarok Tue 17-Jan-17 06:47:56

It might be a judgement on the baby shower, rather than you.

I would be quite reluctant to attend one. I'd suck it up for my closest friends only (while secretly wonder what pregnancy has done to my previously normal friend).

FrancisCrawford Tue 17-Jan-17 06:49:09

Two hours driving there and back to essentially hand over a present is quite a lot.
Showers are still a very thing in this country so they have not had time to assume any degree of importance. Many people prefer to wait until the baby is born before giving a present. Others see showers as grabby.

Cancel the shower. Ask people to join you for a coffee instead

holidaysaregreat Tue 17-Jan-17 06:49:21

Sorry but I think YABU. People will be expected to travel an hour, bring a gift? I would not fancy that. I would however be happy to send a gift once baby had been born.

KateDaniels2 Tue 17-Jan-17 06:49:35

Sorry but i wouldnt travel an hour to a baby shower.

I honestly dont get them. If yiu wanted a get together, why not just organise a get together.

Lonoxo Tue 17-Jan-17 06:49:57

I would go to a baby shower to support my friend or family. I've been to 3. I wouldn't have one myself. To me, it's giving them a gift before the baby is born, rather than after.

Figgygal Tue 17-Jan-17 06:50:19

As with others not necessarily a reflection of you but perhaps their feeling on such things I don't go to them either they are an Americanism I have no time for

user1483385529 Tue 17-Jan-17 06:50:20

I should say that I wasn't fussed about having one, I think they are over the top and quite an 'American' thing to do, I'm not even fussed about having a hen do when OH and I get married next year. As my sister got excited (she can't have kids) I didn't feel I could say no....

Justputyourshoesonnow Tue 17-Jan-17 06:50:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Penhacked Tue 17-Jan-17 06:51:30

No doubt they will buy you gifts when baby arrives and just want to avoid this over Americanised event.

mum2Bomg Tue 17-Jan-17 06:51:33

I agree with all who have said it's the event that may be the issue, not your friends. I was going to ask if they had a shower but you've said they don't have children.

I agree they're ridiculous and grabby. Never been to one and hope I never do. Didn't have one myself.

AntiQuitty Tue 17-Jan-17 06:52:08

Poor OP. I guess your friends must be like people on this thread who put their own snooty views about a party above actual friendship.

You can still have fun & a lovely time though.

Booklover123 Tue 17-Jan-17 06:52:16

It is not YOU that is unpopular, but the baby shower!
Totally agree with navy, cancell and treat your sister to afternoon tea for all her efforts. I wish baby showers would go back to theUSA, ghastly idea! Good luck with your expected ds1!

Mindtrope Tue 17-Jan-17 06:52:27

OP this isn't about you- it's about the fact that many many people don't like the idea of baby showers in the UK.

They are seen as tacky and grabby, and I wouldn't go to one. An american idea that has been a bit of a damp squib this side of the Atlantic.

Your sister has been a little blinkered in not working this out.

StealthPolarBear Tue 17-Jan-17 06:52:58

I've never been to one but would quite like to go. I don't understand why people who would be quite happy to have a social get together with friends suddenly find it off putting when it has a specific purpose such as hen night or baby shower. Sit in a room with friends, chat and eat nice food. Why would that be so awful?

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