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Aibu to be put of by funeral dress codes?

(4 Posts)
Funnyfarmer Mon 16-Jan-17 21:52:16

Back in November a mum from school tragically passed, I didn't know her to well but felt I would like to pay my respects at her funeral. Just as I was about to get ready I got a text saying the family have requested people are to wear bright clothing. I opened my wardrobe and had nothing bright in my autumn/winter wardrobe even if I had the time to dig out my summer clothing they are just that summer clothing It was a burial, I would have been freezing. I don't know her family and felt I may have percived as disrespectful if I turned up in dark clothing, so I decided not to go. Today I attended a funeral where everyone was asked to wear a Manchester United kit! Luckley this time I had few days notice and managed to borrow a united tracksuit 3 sizes to big, if I hadn't managed to borrow one would I have been expected to buy one? On Thursday I'm attending another funeral where everyone has been asked to wear rastapharian/Jamaican style clothes. I hope I'm not coming across disrespectful because I really don't mean too but it really is putting me off attending peoples funerals who otherwise I would like to pay respect too

Zafodbeeblbrox10 Mon 16-Jan-17 21:58:08

I went to a friend's funeral recently where everyone was asked to wear green and red..many did, but many did not.
and nobody really noticed anyway! Wear what you feel comfortable in, you are paying your respects.

crunched Mon 16-Jan-17 22:10:07

My DHs aunt passed away last year. Floristry was her hobby, chairperson of the local flower club, did the church flower rota etc.so her DH asked everyone to wear bright, flower colours. My MIL (sister of the aunt) thought this was inappropriate and a foolish idea, so didn't pass on the request. My DH, me and MIL were the only ones attending in somber clothes.
I was really sad that it looked like we had disregarded the bereaved family's wishes.

willstarttomorrow Mon 16-Jan-17 22:16:53

Honestly I just remember from DH's funeral that some people showed up that I did not anticipate. They cared enough about me/DC/ wanted to show respect because DH touched their lives in some way. All that matters really.

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