I can only tell you my experience and hope you and your lovely son find life a lot easier.....
My son, now in his mid twenties, has battled against his ADHD all his life. He now describes it as having a hundred televisions on full volume going off on his head, and to be able to try and concentrate on anything he has to shout louder to try and focus. Schooldays were a nightmare as teachers were generally so uneducated (and unkind) about the condition. hough the occasional teacher was understanding and tried to focus his attention on the many things he was interested in. The naughty child syndrome meant he was unable to make friends and was never invited to a party or on a play date. The good points were he was interested and passionate about so many things, had unlimited enegry which as an adult he focusses on sport and going to the gym each day. However this was difficult as a child when he was expected to conform into society (and schools) expectations. As a young teenager we moved him from mainstream school into a unit within a college that understood ADHD, and things were immediately better. There they did not ask him to stop his motor tics, did not expect him to sit in silence and sit at a desk for 7 hours a day. It was wonderful that he was no longer the scapegoat for his previous school's wrongs.
On his 18th birthday all medical, social and psychological help stopped. Apparently all is cured when you become 18 and your symptoms magically disapear. Like hell they do. There are no clinics within our county for sufferers of adult ADHD.
Now he is a hard worker, working 12 hour shifts and then onto another job, never gets tired and sleeps little. He works harder, loves harder and feels things so much more than everyone else. Life is tough for him though, and he still lives at home. Like being scapegoated at school for every wrong, the same happens locally now he is an adult. He stands out, he's loud, he's honest, he does not properly understand relationships, and so despite his wonderful qualities those that come across him think badly of him. However, with medication and maturity he has now made a group of friends, and unlike others who treated him as the entertainment, seem genuinely to support him.
Medication. In his particular case medication enabled him to have a life, an education, friends a social life and to live in a loving home. Without the medication none of this was possible. Even in recent times he tried to withdraw from the medication he has been stable on for some time. Within 48 hours he had lost his job and his long term girlfriend. He became totally out of control, and then seriously depressed as he felt he could not live with the symptoms the medication lessens.
I am now a foster carer and have looked after several other children who jump on the ADHD bandwagon, and additonally others who I knew had it but their symptoms were put down to other factors. It's impossible to explain but have leant over the years over who guninely has ADHD and who does not.
So now ADHD dominates his life, and casts a shadow over the household at times, but really he is still trying to fit into the role that society expects. But those that take him into their hearts get to meet the kindest, most gentle, hilarious, loving, generous, hard working, bright, passionate person you will ever meet, despite his volume on 100% at 3am each morning.
I wanted to be honest, my son is just one person, everyone is different. However much depends on the understaning of those around him. I wish you and your son the best of luck.
