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To think my father shouldn't have sold the watch? And WWYD?

(12 Posts)
FleshEmoji Mon 16-Jan-17 17:35:05

Last week my father told me that he'd sold my mother's father's watch - apparently he put it up for auction back in November last year. (Sorry for lack of initials, but it would all get too confusing.) The watch was a solid gold pocket watch given to my grandfather by his father in about 1920 - I think it's Victorian. It was left to my mother when her father died in the 1980s. My mother died in 2013 - so for 30 odd years she had kept the watch and not sold it.

When I objected, DF claimed that my brother would just have sold it (he has form for this - but he used to be quite hard up, so I'd say fair enough - and he was never given anything like an heirloom). Afterwards (too late) I thought, yeah, but you just sold it too, so what's the difference?

When I replied that I could have had it, he asked if I could have ensured it wasn't stolen. This is a reference to a burglary I had 16 years ago, when what family jewellery I had was nicked along with quite a lot of other stuff. Again I think it's a bit unfair as he's had a burglary too, and sounds like a weak excuse.

I'm pissed off that my DF didn't even mention this to me at the time, didn't see if my brother or I wanted it. DF doesn't need the money. AIBU to think he should at the very least have offered to sell it to me or my brother? I don't even really feel it's his to dispose of like this, as it was my mother's, and I feel pretty upset at the loss of this little bit of family history.

BarbarianMum Mon 16-Jan-17 17:38:30

Well unless your mum specifically left it to you or your brother than yes, it was your dad's to dispose of as he sees fit. Were you very close to this grandfather?

scurryfunge Mon 16-Jan-17 17:38:36

I get that you are upset to lose a bit f family history but the property belongs to your father and he can do whatever he likes with it unfortunately.

harderandharder2breathe Mon 16-Jan-17 17:40:25

Unless your mother left it to you or your brother, it's your fathers to do with as he wishes

It would have been nice to offer it to you first but not obligatory

HecateAntaia Mon 16-Jan-17 17:42:03

I understand why you feel bad but there's nothing you can do. It's been sold.

I mean, you could ask him for the info of the person who bought it and approach them and offer to buy it from them. But obv they have every right to say no. But it's worth a shot.

Your father may need money. Do you know his bank balance?

In your shoes i would have done the same as you did. Say i was upset.

You could also say look dad if you want or need to sell anything else of mum's can i please have first refusal.

SallyInSweden Mon 16-Jan-17 17:42:35

If he owned it it is his to sell... but what a shitty thing to do.

RandyMagnum2 Mon 16-Jan-17 17:44:34

It was his to do with how he saw fit, unless specified in a will; all of your mothers possessions were his.

FleshEmoji Mon 16-Jan-17 17:45:03

Actually I do know my father's bank balance as he had to live with me for 3 months this year when he broke his hip. And it's massive. Also, last week he bought a new Mercedes. :-)

I've contacted the auctioneer and he's passed a message on to the purchaser, but nothing may come of it if that person doesn't feel any sympathy for me.

I do know it's his watch, but I think he obviously feels a bit off about it - else why not mention that he was selling it? And give us chance to buy it?

MrsTerryPratchett Mon 16-Jan-17 17:48:04

If he owned it it is his to sell... but what a shitty thing to do.

This.

SquatBetty Mon 16-Jan-17 18:23:41

Sympathies OP, my DF sold my late mum's wedding rings on an apparent whim without even asking me or my siblings if we'd like them instead. My DF also has a healthy bank balance with very few out goings.

What was particularly sad is that he didn't bother getting them valued first and just sold them at a high street cash for gold place so was almost certainly ripped off as well.

Idiot.

TitaniasCloset Mon 16-Jan-17 18:28:38

I can completely understand how pissed off you are. He really shouldn't have done that. I can't imagine your mum would have been happy about it either if she was around. Yanbu.

DefinitelyOdd Mon 16-Jan-17 20:14:56

My nan did this with my great nans wedding and engagement rings. It practically devastated my mum at the time.

Fingers crossed that the purchaser lets you have it back!

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