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to not know how i am going to do this?

(5 Posts)
Beth2511 Mon 16-Jan-17 08:54:09

i have just become a single mum to a 2 year old (26 months) and a 3.5 month old. my mum is an alcoholic and i pretty much have no friends.

ex will never probably do more than 3-4 hours a couple of times a week.

how the hell am i going to do this and actually manage to raise decent human beings? hurting so much right now

Chocolatecake12 Mon 16-Jan-17 09:04:35

You will be fine. It's very hard to believe that right now I know.
You need to believe in yourself as a strong women who is capable of raising your two beautiful children.
Get as much practical support as possible. Will your ex be giving you any money? Have you contacted child tax credits etc?
Do you go to any groups with your children? I found some lovely friends at toddler groups. And as your children get older the parents at school can also become great friends.
This is still very new to you so take it one day at a time. Was it a shock? I think when a relationship is over you go through a grieving process and you need to accept that you will feel sad and angry. And that's perfectly ok.
As a parent you will make mistakes, you will get cross and frustrated at your children and rbus is normal!
There's a lot of support on here - have a look at the divorce/separation board.
You can do it. And you will do it.

Blu99 Mon 16-Jan-17 09:07:29

I feel for you. You have to remain strong and do the best you can for you and your little ones. You can't think too far into the future. Focus on the here and now and getting through each day. Try to make positive changes like, going to a mother and baby group? Maybe you can find some support there. They're are plenty of mothers that find themselves in similar or equally difficult situations so you're not alone - I'm sure most go on to bring up wonderful children

Beth2511 Mon 16-Jan-17 20:31:10

i have contacted tax credits. he says he will be giving me money but im not convinced!

i already go to a group its the evenings that are breaking me down. i honestly never thought it would be like this.

SignOnTheWindow Mon 16-Jan-17 21:10:48

Our situations are not quite the same, but I've been a single parent of very young children - it does get better.

My DH died when DD1 was a toddler and I was expecting DD2. The evenings were brutal at first, but they did get better bit by bit as the bedtime routine became more established.

It's hard having to do one thing after another instead of being able to do things in tandem. I remember getting back from shopping, desperate for the loo, with frozen stuff to go away, a baby that needed feeding and changing, a toddler tantrum... It was always me that came last.

It helped to give myself little treats when I did finally get them both off to sleep - a hot chocolate, lighting a nice candle and reading a book/magazine for a few minutes, or (once DD2 could be guaranteed to stay asleep for more than 20 mins at a time) having a long bath.

I was always tired and often angry, often crying. It's hard being a single parent.

However, a few years on, they are lovely, well-adjusted children.

Stick with it OP - it can get better. flowers flowers

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