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To wish Martina Cole was right in front of me...

(68 Posts)
PopGoesTheFuckingWeasel Mon 16-Jan-17 01:35:35

So I could ask "What the actual fuck?"?

I was SO into her books at the beginning. I don't do chick-lit etc, but she was different.

Am I the only one thinking that the past few books are gnat-shite?

Does she just change the name of characters, change some of the time events around, and churn out a new book?

And the next time I read the line "belly full of arms and legs", I will boil my own head and eat it!


(Ps, the book has gone to the charity shop)

Has she taken some sort of "writer's laxative" which makes her churn out this shite?

HughLauriesStubble Mon 16-Jan-17 01:40:35

Yanbu. Same old shite, always with an anti maternal narc mother thrown in somewhere and an abusive twat husband too. And someone always gets under someone else's skin too. Regurgitated crap.

PickledCauliflower Mon 16-Jan-17 01:43:13

I tried reading one her books years ago and was irritated beyond belief.
I think I reached page 52 before tossing it in to the charity bag.
Thought there was something wrong with me, as contantly heard her being raved about!

PopGoesTheFuckingWeasel Mon 16-Jan-17 01:51:23

Don't get me wrong- I LOVED "Goodnight Lady" and "The Know", but maybe it was because I hadn't read enough to see that it was all rebashed shite from earlier books! I read "The Runaway" after watching the TV adaptation, and surprisingly thought the TV adaptation was better.

Don't even get me started on "Broken". Kate Fucking Burrows. Gah!

Quite liked "The Graft".

Sorry for the rant.


Not sorry for the rant.

I'm going back to Enid Blyton! grin

EmeraldScorn Mon 16-Jan-17 02:30:30

All of her books are the same, she rehashes the tired, repetitive drivel time and time again.

RonaldMcDonald Mon 16-Jan-17 02:38:36

I didn't realise that she has started well. That might explain some things.
I tried with one of her books and thought it was idiotic.
Since then when people tell me they like her or are looking forward to her books I question their sanity in my head

PopGoesTheFuckingWeasel Mon 16-Jan-17 02:42:07

You know the "That's Not My Dragon/Tractor/Goat/Potty books? I think she read them, put a few gangsters and loud mothers into the mix, and baked them as books! 😁

lougle Mon 16-Jan-17 02:43:22

I couldn't get through Goodnight Lady. It was quite compelling for the first few chapters, then I realised that I didn't want my thoughts to be filled with the abuse of women and children, fiction or not.

Similar to James Patterson, really. I read his books at first, then it suddenly occurred to me that if he could write that stuff, he had thought that stuff. His books seem to always have women victims who are killed sexually, and I didn't want to read someone's thoughts about doing that.

PopGoesTheFuckingWeasel Mon 16-Jan-17 02:48:12

lougle I never thought of it like that...sick! 😐

Manumission Mon 16-Jan-17 02:50:52

And the next time I read the line "belly full of arms and legs", I will boil my own head and eat it!

What does that even mean?

PopGoesTheFuckingWeasel Mon 16-Jan-17 02:55:07

Manumission the "belly" comment, or the "boil my own head" thing?

LadyCassandra Mon 16-Jan-17 04:05:37

Yanbu. I used to love her books but they are just rehashed versions of the same story.
I used to read James Patterson and Harlan Coben but they are the same, I assume they get pressured by their publishers to keep churning them out.

Perfectlypurple Mon 16-Jan-17 05:59:57

I loved her early books but now it is pretty much the same story.

I still like James Patterson though, also I like Sidney Sheldon although it has been years since I read them. I may re read them if I can get them on my kindle

Effendi Mon 16-Jan-17 06:04:16

The Ladykiller was her best book. Nothing like the gangster shite of later books. It was gripping.

BarbaraofSeville Mon 16-Jan-17 06:08:04

YANBU. I read one of her books years ago - I think it was the first one in the series with Maura etc in but I may be wrong and didn't finish it because it was so badly written with irritating phrases repeated constantly. It's not like I have particularly high literary expectations either, or at least I thought I didn't.

Fuck knows how she is so successful. But then again, look at 50 Shades of Grey - utter shite and sold millions.

SaorAlbaGuBrath Mon 16-Jan-17 06:27:28

Belly full of arms and legs means pregnant, my grannie used to say it. I used to read Martina Cole years ago, but I don't have the stomach for it any more, some of them are pretty dark.

LadyTrevelyan Mon 16-Jan-17 07:32:51

Effendi I completely agree. I reread The Ladykiller ever so often as it is brilliant.

I enjoyed the earlier gangster books but all too smart.

As well as "a bellyful of arms and legs" most women suffer from an "impossibly high heel".

LadyTrevelyan Mon 16-Jan-17 07:33:46

All to SAMEY.

LadyTrevelyan Mon 16-Jan-17 07:35:14

TOO sad. Forgive my mistakes, my ankle is throbbing after turning it in an impossibly high heel.

TheoriginalLEM Mon 16-Jan-17 07:42:44

all her books have been shite imo

icelollycraving Mon 16-Jan-17 07:48:00

I really liked her books The Jump,Ladykiller etc but the last few have been dire.
The belly thing is as grim as splitarse which she also writes frequently.

icelollycraving Mon 16-Jan-17 07:48:22

Oh and closing their eyes in distress,

SaorAlbaGuBrath Mon 16-Jan-17 07:49:01

splitarse that word makes me cringe, it's horrible.

horrayforharoldlloyd Mon 16-Jan-17 07:55:18

"He was a known face" ...."skullduggery"..... "belly full of arms and legs". And repeat.

TobleroneBoo Mon 16-Jan-17 07:55:52

Agree,very samey

Try Kimberley Chambers - along the same lines but much much better

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