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To wish my 3 teenagers would just leave me the fuck alone ( lighthearted)

(91 Posts)
Boolovessulley Mon 16-Jan-17 00:22:19

Before everyone piles in, yes I know im lucky to have had children. Yes I do love them.
No I wouldn't swap them.
But for the love of god I wish they would let me have some peace and just bloody once in a while BE REASONABLE.

They have used by bloody brand new bath towel( the only one I tried to keep for myself) and one of the fuckers has got bleach all over the fucker.

They've turned the heating on ( after I've turned it off) and I'm in bed naked sweating it's roasting.
Their response: it's not our fault you're going through the menopause! I'm not btw.

They are systematically eating everything in sight.
Then asking is there anything to eat? Followed by mum will you fetch me a drink when I'm sat in the living room!

They are draining the electricity board dry.
The wifi is being sucked into their rooms and Lord forbid that mother( the one who pays for everything) should have the audacity to ever want to a) use the wifi
b) watch networks
C) not make everyone including the teenagers multiple friends drinks when she is trying to do either a or b.

Oh and I'm a miserable, menopausal bugger if I say ' no you'd friends can't sleep over, yet again, because they do all of the above!

Is it wrong to dream of the day they will have their own homes and I shall find peace?

hahahaIdontgetit Mon 16-Jan-17 00:24:08

Wow, they sound like a nightmare.

Is it too late for sanctions?

Boolovessulley Mon 16-Jan-17 00:24:10

Watch networks=Netflix.

MakeItStopNeville Mon 16-Jan-17 00:24:51

The teenage years are natures way of making sure Mummy Hen is ready to push them out the door when they turn 18! Enjoy x

ijustwannadance Mon 16-Jan-17 00:28:17

Was the teenager responsible for getting bleach on your lovely towel actually cleaning something?!shock

nooka Mon 16-Jan-17 01:06:57

I expect they were dying their hair ijustwannadance. That's how my dd turned her grey towel (we are a colour coded household) yellow. I only have two teens OP and some of that sounds very familiar! I think you probably need to up your broadband to solve a and b, and just refuse to do c (unless it's reciprocated). And no it's not unreasonable to look forward to them leaving home smile

CherryChasingDotMuncher Mon 16-Jan-17 02:21:14

I'm not a mother of teens but I get the lovely bath towels problem and this should only ever be punishable by death!

My DN stayed once when she was 14. We got Debenhams vouchers for our wedding to the tune of £300 and rather than buying lots of bits (we'd lived together for 3 years) we thought we'd really splash out on something extravagant that we'd never normally buy. Found some amazing designer cream towels reduced from £100 each to £50 each, so bought 6. DN on that visit got red hair dye all over one of them. I nearly cried, it's still a tinge of pink sad not as bad as when FIL helped tile our bathroom though, and saw fit to wipe fucking grouting down with one!! Not only that, he chucked it in the wash basket without rinsing it, so when I came to the basket a day later the grouting had cemented it together. Had to go in the bin 😫 But on the upside the other 4 towels are as fluffy and soft as the day I bought them 6 years ago!

Lesson learnt: keep naice towels in a secret place never to be touched by anyone but you and only get them out for others when the Queen comes round for tea grin

EveOnline2016 Mon 16-Jan-17 04:22:05

My mum used to deduct pocket money for doing use jobs we was able to do ourself.

A NT teenager can get their own drinks and snacks when friends come over.

MagicChicken Mon 16-Jan-17 05:13:54

And this is how the phrase 'you treat this place like a hotel' came into being. Millions of people all over the developed world, all otherwise unconnected and possibly having nothing in common apart from having teenagers, all inexplicably yelling the same thing. Coincidence? I think not.

It's a cliche because it's true! They all do it, the entitled little gits. Sadly it usually does coincide with us hovering on the brink of menopause so when we are pushed to screeching and ranting point it is assumed we are just being Unreasonable And Irrational Due To Hormones.

I don't know what the answer is, but I feel your pain and I stand in solidarity with you.

Megatherium Mon 16-Jan-17 06:05:59

I hope the cost of replacing the towel is coming out of the relevant miscreant's pocket money?

BestIsWest Mon 16-Jan-17 06:09:20

Mine has gone vegetarian for January and is expecting me to cook vegetarian alternatives for him ( I'm not). Except for Friday when I CAUGHT HIM EATING SPARE RIBS.

greenfolder Mon 16-Jan-17 06:13:20

My not so teens are now 19 and 21.
They seem to think that I run a taxi service and am some sort of short order cook.
I am actually selling the house this year and moving so the days are numbered.

catbrushblanket Mon 16-Jan-17 06:40:23

And then they leave home and you miss them. And then they COME BACK SIGH

Squiff85 Mon 16-Jan-17 06:43:22

Ha ha I have this to look forward to wink

KathArtic Mon 16-Jan-17 07:51:25

My youngest DD has a paper round....before she gets home I fold all the papers for her. She goes out (eventually after doing her hair and make-up) and I await a phone call saying she ready for me to drop the rest of the papers off to her in the car, instead of her coming back. I also post the papers in at the houses were there are dogs/the letterbox is stiff/the occupants are strange/the wheelie bin is in the way.

Then she phones to say she is bored and will I walk around with her and talk to her.

MrsScrubbingbrush Mon 16-Jan-17 08:06:02

Mine are only pre-teens at the moment but my response to "I'm thirsty can I have a drink?" is exactly what my dad said to me "Yep, there's plenty of water in the tap - help yourself!" 😊

user1468539146 Mon 16-Jan-17 08:27:31

My two eldest are both now in their 20s and it does get better, they are a fabulous help with my small ones.
But got the teenage years to go through again with the youngest shock

scaredoffallout Mon 16-Jan-17 08:37:59

Mine are 10, 12 and 15 so in the middle of it with one and about to launch with the other 2 (almost). Joy grin.

They are so melodramatic as well - "there's NOTHING to eat shock" they say. Yes apart from all the stuff still in the kitchen grrrr. It's just that they don't want to eat that stuff.

ThunderSnowClusterFuck Mon 16-Jan-17 08:53:47

Kath why do you put up with that? shock

flamencina Mon 16-Jan-17 08:55:13

The WiFi password is your friend here, it has fantastic leverage.

Even better if you know how to go into advanced settings and block/allow individual devices!

As for things like drink/food making requests, if a simple no doesn't work, tell them that repeated requests and whinging will result in the WiFi password being changed indefinitely.

Ensure that the password to get in to change the WiFi password is watertight so there is no risk of them locking you out.

I am coming out of the other side of teenagerdom (one already left home! The joy!) and can honestly say nothing works as well as WiFi threats, it's like suddenly you are the all powerful god of the house and must be obeyed.

QuiteChic Mon 16-Jan-17 08:58:14

The bleached towels are probably acne cream related. I've had two duvet covers ruined with bleaching as well as numerous towels.
I don't use bleach !

Wallywobbles Mon 16-Jan-17 08:58:43

I've been telling them since they were babies that at 18 they're out.

pipsqueak25 Mon 16-Jan-17 09:02:10

mine are 16 -23 [6], i've been /am there boo i feel your pain grin, get them trained [never too late] for their own drink making /hosting, and up the broadband, anyone paying rent ? sometimes when they are getting the free ride it is easier to take the piss, no rent ? pocket money ? well that could help pay for replacement towels for a start smile and i'm sure you'll think of other things in due course.
my eldest dd is looking to leave home this year, it's the standing joke that her dsis will be clutching the brush and paint can as the bags are leaving their room grin

pipsqueak25 Mon 16-Jan-17 09:05:47

flame denied drink / food requests results in thirst / hunger and them getting their own stuff worked for me smile of course wi fi password is equally good strange how often i forget what it is ? mmm...

unlucky83 Mon 16-Jan-17 11:42:52

YY to all the above...and the endless negotiation - my personal favourite is teenage logic. Where everything is your fault...
DDs classic recently - talking about the fact she keeps being late for school and so I am going to take her phone off her on school nights. I said 11pm, she said midnight...we compromised at 11.45 (I know...)...
I said if you still miss the school bus I will take your new phone off you and you will have to have your old one for a month. (Which obviously according to DD I can't because the old one 'doesn't work' ...except it did up to the minute she got her new one hmm)
She said that wasn't fair - because if she still missed the school bus it would be my fault because the time I took her phone off her was too late confused
(She did drop that argument - when I said that I would therefore have to change the time to an earlier one - after pointing out in fact I had tried to make it earlier and she had refused....)

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