AIBU to ask how you define a good/bad sleeper?

[onemumtwocountries]

DS is coming up to 5 months old. From 10 weeks he's slept 9-9 with wake-ups for quick feeds around midnight and 4.30am. Around 50% of nights he'll wake up once more at some point - he just needs a quick patting session and he's off again.

As much as I'd love a full night's sleep, I'm pretty happy with his sleep and - if questioned - I'll say he's quite a good sleeper. However someone I know recently quizzed me about his sleeping patterns and commented 'poor you, it must be hard'.

I'm aware there are babies who sleep 12 hours straight from the word go. But I also know a few people (and often read on here) whose babies are up every hour, up for hours in the middle of the night, etc. All things considered, I think DS is ok.

But is my view somehow warped? Can only babies who sleep through (whatever that means) be defined good sleepers? Do I have to start referring to DS as a pretty poor sleeper as he's up at least twice a night?

Just genuinely curious how you benchmark your definition of a good/bad sleeper. I'm guessing having another DC would certainly give me some perspective!

[Crunchymum]

Good sleeper = DC1 who went from 10pm-5am from about 10w. Was doing 12h from 3m and even now aged 4 rarely wakens at night.

Bad sleeper = DC2 who is 2 and has never, ever slept through the night. It's better nw as she usually sleeps for about 5h and then it's just one night feed. But yep she is 2 and has never done what DC1 was doing at 10 weeks.

[onemumtwocountries]

Crunchy that must have been quite a shock

[Bigfatgrinch]

At 5 months I would say your baby is an amazing sleeper. My DS was up every 3 hours until 12 months and at 18 months still doesn't sleep through. I would say he's not a good sleeper but not as bad as lots of other babies.

[FourForYouGlenCoco]

Bad sleeper - DD: still up hourly some nights at 6+mo, took hours to settle, in and out of various beds all night, didn't consistently sleep through til a few months ago when she started school (at just turned 4) and even now will mess about for hours before going to sleep.
Good sleeper - DS from 6w - 4mo: went to sleep (and latterly to bed) no problem at 7.30-8ish, slept through to 7.30-8ish, waking for a quick feed at 4-6 hourly intervals and then back off to sleep.
Middling sleeper - DS now; goes to bed/sleep at a reasonable time, wakes in relatively predictable patterns ~3-4 hourly with some longer stretches, can be settled quickly back to sleep, interspersed with the occasional great night and the occasional godawful one.

[Softkitty2]

I have a 9month old dd.. For me she is not a good sleeper.. Last night was a classed as a good night because she slept at 7, woke at 12 for a feed, again at 1.15, fussed for 45 mins--dh settled her and woke at 7.

She has NEVER slept through the night.

[onemumtwocountries]

Thanks Grinch. It's all relative, isn't it? Hope it keeps improving for you.

[user1471446433]

You have an amazing sleeper. My 22 month old woke 6 times last last night & stopped napping months ago!

[andanotheronee]

My 6mo has a broken sleep 9pm-1am and doesn't sleep past then. At all. As if it's day time. I would definitely class your ds as a good sleeper.

[onemumtwocountries]

Thanks all. It varies so much! He naps fairly well - although not for very long - and has been self settling for a while which for me helps the feeling that things aren't that bad.

[abbsisspartacus]

Bad sleeper the child who turned four last week who woke up at three am and is now napping on the sofa next to me

Good sleeper? Pretty much everyone else

[NapQueen]

I counted dd (dc1) as a good sleeper as a baby - she slept from 7pm-11pm, fed, back to sleep and then from 8 weeks didn't wake til 6am. However by 12mo she became a nightmare sleeper and had a massive regression which only got sorted with some sleep training.

Ds (dc2) was a pain every feed was uncomfortable and windy and unsettled and this lasted a good 6 months of just barely any sleep at all. Suddenly it switched once he went into the big cot and could roll onto his tummy. He is 2.4 now and literally since 6mo has slept through every single night.

So both of mine were overall good with a 6m period each of hideous Ness.

[DontTouchTheMoustache]

I've been blessed with a good sleeper OP, similar to you I think around 4/5 months he was asleep by 7, had a sleepy feed at 11 then woke at 7. I was very happy with that. Since 7/8 months he has slept through (8pm-9am). I take no credit for his good sleeping, I'm. Just incredibly lucky but I've been a single mum the whole time so I feel grateful.for that every day!

[Welshrainbow]

I always considered my DS to be a good sleeper, he had feeds at 12:30 and 4:30 from birth and got up about 5:30 but settled quickly after feeds. About 5 months he was having a dream feed at 10 or 11 and up for the day at 4:30/5 and other than a few phases of being up every hour he stayed like that till 12 months when he can go down at 8 and get up at 4:30/5. A few people have commented that he's not a great sleeper because he's up so early and because he needs cuddling to sleep and I can't put him down awake but I've always thought he was a good sleeper. Especially as even now at 20 months he has a two hour nap in the afternoon. Still can't put him down awake but hell sometimes the ten mins or takes to get him to sleep are the only cuddles I get off him all day lol.
I would say a bad sleeper is one that is up every hour or takes hours to settle back to sleep. It's pretty subjective though.

[Hellmouth]

I think my DS is a good sleeper. He is 6 months old. Last night he slept from midnight until 9am, had a bottle, then went back to bed until midday. I wish he would sleep earlier but we have totally failed at setting a routine!

[SockQueen]

onemum my DS is almost 4 months and fairly similar to yours, just shifted a couple of hours earlier. Unfortunately he's got a cold this week and it's all gone to shit, but generally I'd call him a pretty good sleeper compared with the nightmares I read about on here. Actually sleeping 10-12 hours solidly at this age is really quite rare, so I count his semi-predictable wake-ups and quick settling back down as good!

[Lazyafternoon]

I think a good sleeper = you are coping ok with their sleep pattern. Bad sleeper = you are struggling with it.

My DS didn't 'sleep through' until about 15months. As sockqueen says predictable wakeup for milk were not a bother as my sleep pattern adjusted as well. What I did struggle with were unpredictable wakings with screaming, not going back to sleep etc which broke my sleep pattern - whether that was 30mins after I'd gone to bed, 2am or 30mins before I would have woken up anyway.

Also, I would say that my DS did wake several times a night for quite a long time. But after i'd been back at work a few months I was struggling with broken sleep at night and early morning commute so we took action with the dreaded 'sleep training' and went through a bit of hell getting a strict bedtime routine and not giving milk at night. But after a few nights he got the hang of it and has slept amazingly since. I couldn't have been so tough on him any younger (than 15months) I don't think, but now (he's age 3) I feel very grateful that I can put him to bed at about 7 - 7.30 and he reliably puts head down goes to sleep without a fuss and don't hear anymore until 7.30am. I don't know if he'd be so good now if we hadn't have had to have implemented a strict routine to get us through the night when he was younger. Whereas a lot of parents who had 'good sleepers' initially then had difficulties later on once toddlers.

[Oysterbabe]

IMO Good sleeper = you feel like you get enough rest. It doesn't matter what the actual sleeping pattern is if you are happy.
DD is 1 and still wakes up twice a night. I think she's a good sleeper. She goes to bed without a fuss and the wake ups last 5 minutes and she sleeps until 7:30. I feel rested and have faith that she'll sleep through in her own time.

[AllTheLight]

I also think it depends on how you cope as a parent. One of my friends really struggled because, once she has been woken, she finds it difficult to get back to sleep even when she's tired. That made things a lot harder for her, so she described her DS as a poor sleeper when I thought he was pretty good.

[ShowMePotatoSalad]

I would define a bad sleeper as hardly sleeping, very long periods of wakefulness, no routine etc.

A good sleeper would be anywhere from waking up a few times during the night (3 or 4 times), settling quite quickly again, to sleeping through the night.

I try to remember that it's very rare that I settle down easily, or sleep throughout the night. Why should babies/children be expected to be any different?

[Zarachristmas]

People probably judge it by how their own babies slept.

I'd say my first was a good sleeper. He woke for two feeds for the first few months but would go straight back to sleep. Eventually went to one feed and slept 12 hours straight through fairly reliably from 6 months.

My second was/is a bad sleeper, woke constantly for apparently no reason until he was about 10 months. Even at 19 months he doesn't reliably sleep through.

I'm always amazed when people's babies sleep through at 8 weeks. That must be so lovely and blissful.

I absolutely love babies especially newborns, but I hate not getting sleep.

[JoeMaplin]

Dc1 - bad sleeper - was up at least once a night till 18 months. Dc2 3 and 4 - good sleepers- slept from 7-7 no wake ups from 7 weeks, 10 weeks and 14 weeks respectively.