My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

AIBU?

Are wedding receptions fun on your own?

31 replies

OhhBetty · 15/01/2017 11:06

I've been invited to a friends wedding reception. I have no partner and it will be the first wedding I've been to alone. The last one I attended I had ds with me which was hard work as he was 18 months.
I will know about 4 othee guests but they will all be with their partners.
I love my friend and wouldn't miss it but I was just wondering if wedding receptions are fun when you're on your own! I feel a bit nervous for some reason! The other people I know will talk to me but since I split with ds's dad in August (he cheated) they seem a bit uncomfortable with me talking to their partners for some reason!
Thanks!

OP posts:
Report
Nomoreworkathome · 15/01/2017 11:10

they seem a bit uncomfortable with me talking to their partners for some reason!
Really??? What on earth gives you that impression?

Report
Trills · 15/01/2017 11:12

If your friends don't like you talking to their partners then no, it won't be fun.

They sound ridiculous.

Report
dangermouseisace · 15/01/2017 11:13

I've been to weddings/receptions on my own and some have been great fun and some have been really difficult. The fun ones tended to be where there were plenty of people to chat to- they don't have to be the people that you know before the wedding. The people you know that are uncomfortable with you speaking to their partners need to get a firm grip on themselves.

Go with an open mind.

Report
Enidblyton1 · 15/01/2017 11:18

The great thing about weddings is how structured they are - service, drinks, meal, speeches, cake cutting, first dance etc. So plenty of time where you're just watching and it doesn't matter how many people you know in the room.

Hopefully you'll be sitting inbetween nice people at the table and get chatting to them (unlikely to have been your partner anyway as most people don't sit partners next to each other at tables).

It'll probably be fine, but at least you can slip out unnoticed after the first dance if you don't feel like staying! I've been to a few weddings by myself and I have done this - but equally have ended up dancing through the night at one wedding where I hit it off with the groom's school friends. You just never know what might happen at weddings....many people even meet new partners Wink

Report
OhhBetty · 15/01/2017 11:19

Nomoreworkathome well one has distanced herself from me in general since the split. Another saw I was talking to her husband and rushed over immediately. Then I overheard her say to her husband "how insecure do you think that makes me feel? There's plenty of couples to talk to."

The other two should be fine as they've generally been supportive and I know them separately to the first two.

dangermouseisace I definitely will. I love meeting new people usually but for some reason I feel nervous about this!

OP posts:
Report
WhoKn0wsWhereTheTimeG0es · 15/01/2017 11:21

It does depend on the format of the day and who else will be there. I went to one on my own where the bride and groom had thoughtfully seated me between the one couple I knew and another couple where the man was from my home town originally, so something in common. We were chatting away but home town man's wife clearly didn't approve and kept leaning forward to make pointed comments about "my husband" or "when we got married" while giving me daggers. It was still a fun day though.

Report
OhhBetty · 15/01/2017 11:22

Enidblyton1 I'm only invited to the reception. Yes I'd heard that about weddings Wink Although I'm definitely not looking for one at the moment!

OP posts:
Report
OhhBetty · 15/01/2017 11:28

WhoKn0wsWhereTheTimeG0es Oh that was kind of them! Very strange behaviour from the wife though! Not like you were shagging him on the table (I hope Grin)

OP posts:
Report
dangermouseisace · 15/01/2017 11:48

TBH I think its better to be only invited to the reception if you've recently split. As otherwise you are there thinking about how shit your partner was with nothing to distract you!

Report
OhhBetty · 15/01/2017 11:51

Yeah I guess you could see it like that but I don't feel like that now. We get along quite well as friends now because we've got ds. I didn’t expect to be invited at all as I know their budget is very limited so I'm over the moon to have been invited at all!

OP posts:
Report
stella23 · 15/01/2017 11:53

She not a friend, you should pull her up on her comments, personally o wouldn't go, particularly with two friends that you mentioned.

Report
OhhBetty · 15/01/2017 11:57

stella23 the bride isn't like that at all. She's been the most supportive through everything. Sorry, the way I've written it is probably confusing!

OP posts:
Report
stella23 · 15/01/2017 12:00

Was it the bride who made comments about talking to her husband? Or one of the couples going?

Report
OhhBetty · 15/01/2017 12:09

One of the couples going

OP posts:
Report
Bluntness100 · 15/01/2017 12:14

Then I overheard her say to her husband "how insecure do you think that makes me feel? There's plenty of couples to talk to.

Report
noeffingidea · 15/01/2017 12:15

If you're fairly confident and able to chat to people that you don't know then it will probably be fun. If you're shy and quiet, then probably not.
As regards the women who no longer want their husbands to talk to you, then yes it is insecurity. Unfortunately I have also come across the other scenario where the recently divorced woman openly flirted with other people's partners in order to make herself feel more attractive.
What can you do? Hopefully feel secure yourself, feel confident in your own right and seek out like minded people. Hopefully the majority of women you meet will fall into this group.

Report
Trills · 15/01/2017 12:15

how insecure do you think that makes me feel?

Er, not at all if you're a normal person and the single woman he is talking to is your friend.

Do you live in a highly gendered world where women only talk to women and men only talk to men unless they are flirting? It sounds like you might want to look about for some new (additional) friends.

Report
AnUtterIdiot · 15/01/2017 12:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PurpleDaisies · 15/01/2017 12:22

I've been to a few weddings as a single person and never experienced anything like what you've described regarding people being paranoid about you stealing their husbands. That's really odd behaviour.

I've always had a good time on my own.

Report
Fidelia · 15/01/2017 12:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OhhBetty · 15/01/2017 13:04

AnUtterIdiot believe it or not they actually work together!

Trills there my only female friends. Most of my friends including my closest bar one, are male.

noeffingidea I am confident enough yes. I would never flirt with someone elses partner anyway. But I am also a believer that 9/10 times if someone is going to cheat they will do so. They wouldn't suddenly be compelled to just because someone flirted (not that I would anyway).

PurpleDaisies thanks, that's reassuring to know! Ans as I said it was those two "friends" who made comments, not loads of people. Although there was a thread recently about women being treated differently when they become single which was interesting.

Fidelia thanks for commenting, you'rer right it is a reflection on them/their dps not us. I think I had probably taken it too personally which I can do at times anyway.

OP posts:
Report
noeffingidea · 15/01/2017 16:40

OP wasn't suggesting you would do that Smile, it's just something I've noticed.
I think it's really sad to see the odd woman who feels she has to compete with other women for male attention.

Report

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

OhhBetty · 15/01/2017 17:11

Thanks Smile I agree it is sad. Not only that but they assume every other woman is the same!!

OP posts:
Report
tinydancer88 · 15/01/2017 17:15

I've been to several weddings without a plus one and had a great time. Weddings are structured things so I never feel as if I don't know what to be doing with myself at a certain time, if that makes sense? You have welcome drinks and get to know people, eat a meal usually and speak with the rest of your table, listen to speeches, congratulate the couple, dance etc. It's great!

As one of few single people in my main groups of friends, I often end up slow dancing with someone's grandad when everyone else has coupled off, but that's not a hardship really!

Report
TreeTop7 · 15/01/2017 17:40

It'll be fine!

Attend the hen night if you can, so that there will be a few more familiar faces on the wedding day.

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.