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Are wedding receptions fun on your own?

(32 Posts)
OhhBetty Sun 15-Jan-17 11:06:20

I've been invited to a friends wedding reception. I have no partner and it will be the first wedding I've been to alone. The last one I attended I had ds with me which was hard work as he was 18 months.
I will know about 4 othee guests but they will all be with their partners.
I love my friend and wouldn't miss it but I was just wondering if wedding receptions are fun when you're on your own! I feel a bit nervous for some reason! The other people I know will talk to me but since I split with ds's dad in August (he cheated) they seem a bit uncomfortable with me talking to their partners for some reason!
Thanks!

Nomoreworkathome Sun 15-Jan-17 11:10:19

they seem a bit uncomfortable with me talking to their partners for some reason!
Really??? What on earth gives you that impression?

Trills Sun 15-Jan-17 11:12:06

If your friends don't like you talking to their partners then no, it won't be fun.

They sound ridiculous.

dangermouseisace Sun 15-Jan-17 11:13:47

I've been to weddings/receptions on my own and some have been great fun and some have been really difficult. The fun ones tended to be where there were plenty of people to chat to- they don't have to be the people that you know before the wedding. The people you know that are uncomfortable with you speaking to their partners need to get a firm grip on themselves.

Go with an open mind.

Enidblyton1 Sun 15-Jan-17 11:18:39

The great thing about weddings is how structured they are - service, drinks, meal, speeches, cake cutting, first dance etc. So plenty of time where you're just watching and it doesn't matter how many people you know in the room.

Hopefully you'll be sitting inbetween nice people at the table and get chatting to them (unlikely to have been your partner anyway as most people don't sit partners next to each other at tables).

It'll probably be fine, but at least you can slip out unnoticed after the first dance if you don't feel like staying! I've been to a few weddings by myself and I have done this - but equally have ended up dancing through the night at one wedding where I hit it off with the groom's school friends. You just never know what might happen at weddings....many people even meet new partners wink

OhhBetty Sun 15-Jan-17 11:19:57

Nomoreworkathome well one has distanced herself from me in general since the split. Another saw I was talking to her husband and rushed over immediately. Then I overheard her say to her husband "how insecure do you think that makes me feel? There's plenty of couples to talk to."

The other two should be fine as they've generally been supportive and I know them separately to the first two.

dangermouseisace I definitely will. I love meeting new people usually but for some reason I feel nervous about this!

WhoKn0wsWhereTheTimeG0es Sun 15-Jan-17 11:21:11

It does depend on the format of the day and who else will be there. I went to one on my own where the bride and groom had thoughtfully seated me between the one couple I knew and another couple where the man was from my home town originally, so something in common. We were chatting away but home town man's wife clearly didn't approve and kept leaning forward to make pointed comments about "my husband" or "when we got married" while giving me daggers. It was still a fun day though.

OhhBetty Sun 15-Jan-17 11:22:18

Enidblyton1 I'm only invited to the reception. Yes I'd heard that about weddings wink Although I'm definitely not looking for one at the moment!

OhhBetty Sun 15-Jan-17 11:28:57

WhoKn0wsWhereTheTimeG0es Oh that was kind of them! Very strange behaviour from the wife though! Not like you were shagging him on the table (I hope grin)

dangermouseisace Sun 15-Jan-17 11:48:03

TBH I think its better to be only invited to the reception if you've recently split. As otherwise you are there thinking about how shit your partner was with nothing to distract you!

OhhBetty Sun 15-Jan-17 11:51:54

Yeah I guess you could see it like that but I don't feel like that now. We get along quite well as friends now because we've got ds. I didn’t expect to be invited at all as I know their budget is very limited so I'm over the moon to have been invited at all!

stella23 Sun 15-Jan-17 11:53:19

She not a friend, you should pull her up on her comments, personally o wouldn't go, particularly with two friends that you mentioned.

OhhBetty Sun 15-Jan-17 11:57:59

stella23 the bride isn't like that at all. She's been the most supportive through everything. Sorry, the way I've written it is probably confusing!

stella23 Sun 15-Jan-17 12:00:31

Was it the bride who made comments about talking to her husband? Or one of the couples going?

OhhBetty Sun 15-Jan-17 12:09:29

One of the couples going

Bluntness100 Sun 15-Jan-17 12:14:45

>> Then I overheard her say to her husband "how insecure do you think that makes me feel? There's plenty of couples to talk to.<<

How bizzare. The woman obviously has some issues. It's nothing to do with you and most women aren't like that.

Go and just talk to people, you'll be fine.

noeffingidea Sun 15-Jan-17 12:15:48

If you're fairly confident and able to chat to people that you don't know then it will probably be fun. If you're shy and quiet, then probably not.
As regards the women who no longer want their husbands to talk to you, then yes it is insecurity. Unfortunately I have also come across the other scenario where the recently divorced woman openly flirted with other people's partners in order to make herself feel more attractive.
What can you do? Hopefully feel secure yourself, feel confident in your own right and seek out like minded people. Hopefully the majority of women you meet will fall into this group.

Trills Sun 15-Jan-17 12:15:57

how insecure do you think that makes me feel?

Er, not at all if you're a normal person and the single woman he is talking to is your friend.

Do you live in a highly gendered world where women only talk to women and men only talk to men unless they are flirting? It sounds like you might want to look about for some new (additional) friends.

AnUtterIdiot Sun 15-Jan-17 12:18:44

I was single for about 8 years in my 20s to 30s, i.e. the years full of other people's weddings. Some of them were great and some of them were a bit boring.

I was going to say that you were being a bit paranoid about women not wanting their partners to talk to you, but evidently you're not. I can't believe she actually said that to her husband! How does she single-woman-proof his workplace?

PurpleDaisies Sun 15-Jan-17 12:22:58

I've been to a few weddings as a single person and never experienced anything like what you've described regarding people being paranoid about you stealing their husbands. That's really odd behaviour.

I've always had a good time on my own.

Fidelia Sun 15-Jan-17 12:30:14

I've been as a newly single and it was fine. I concentrated on chatting to my female friends. I had a laugh, and enjoyed it better than some previous weddings when Ex was around! I must admit to feeling a bit down, three times:
- At the vows (when they said forsaking all others)
- At the first dance (remembering how awful ours had been)
- When she threw the bouquet (people tried to get me to join the throng to catch it)

But it was actually really healing in many ways, I loved seeing how loved up they were, and I had fun dancing and catching up.

The comment the wife made to her husband is more likely to be about him and his behaviour, not you. You have no idea if there's been infidelity/flirting in the past. This has happened to me to. It's not nice, but given the number of married men who did try it on with me in the early months despite my Ex also having cheated (why on earth did these men think I'd want to help them cheat? confused Boak )...I can understand why some wives/partners would be wary. But that's a comment on their dh/dp, not on us.

OhhBetty Sun 15-Jan-17 13:04:37

AnUtterIdiot believe it or not they actually work together!

Trills there my only female friends. Most of my friends including my closest bar one, are male.

noeffingidea I am confident enough yes. I would never flirt with someone elses partner anyway. But I am also a believer that 9/10 times if someone is going to cheat they will do so. They wouldn't suddenly be compelled to just because someone flirted (not that I would anyway).

PurpleDaisies thanks, that's reassuring to know! Ans as I said it was those two "friends" who made comments, not loads of people. Although there was a thread recently about women being treated differently when they become single which was interesting.

Fidelia thanks for commenting, you'rer right it is a reflection on them/their dps not us. I think I had probably taken it too personally which I can do at times anyway.

noeffingidea Sun 15-Jan-17 16:40:16

OP wasn't suggesting you would do that smile, it's just something I've noticed.
I think it's really sad to see the odd woman who feels she has to compete with other women for male attention.

OhhBetty Sun 15-Jan-17 17:11:26

Thanks smile I agree it is sad. Not only that but they assume every other woman is the same!!

tinydancer88 Sun 15-Jan-17 17:15:51

I've been to several weddings without a plus one and had a great time. Weddings are structured things so I never feel as if I don't know what to be doing with myself at a certain time, if that makes sense? You have welcome drinks and get to know people, eat a meal usually and speak with the rest of your table, listen to speeches, congratulate the couple, dance etc. It's great!

As one of few single people in my main groups of friends, I often end up slow dancing with someone's grandad when everyone else has coupled off, but that's not a hardship really!

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