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AIBU to think your DC behave better if they've gone to bed on time?

(15 Posts)
Saxie007 Sat 14-Jan-17 22:44:42

My DH loves our children and considers late bedtimes a treat for them. He's looked after them a lot recently due to a change in our circumstances and the DC are knackered and dreadful.
I don't want to make them do more activities over the weekend because they whinge and moan about everything at the moment & I think this is due to silly bedtimes and their exhaustion but my DH doesn't get it & thinks I'm too lazy to take them out. I build Lego or knex, encourage them to do colouring, writing practice and read with them, I just don't make them go and do a couple of hours bike ride, walk or swim.

AIBU? Do 5 & 7 yr olds need good consistent early (7:30) bedtimes or am I being old Fashioned? It's driving me mad, my lovely children have been replaced with whining zombies.

stella23 Sat 14-Jan-17 22:48:24

Yanbu, my dp does this all the time with dc's, when he puts them to bed he doesn't like to be firm with them (he thinks I shout too much) maybe I do. But when he does it they are always an hour late to bed, and then they are ratty the next day. If he had to deal with the grumping the next day I'm sure he would speed things up, and get them I bed by bed time

MrsTerryPratchett Sat 14-Jan-17 22:51:16

He broke them, he fixes them.

If DH wants a late night as a treat, he can drag them around stately homes. DD is dreadful if she hasn't had a solid 12 hours so I insist on a bedtime.

BakeOffBiscuits Sat 14-Jan-17 22:55:11

Yanbu

Mine are older now but bedtime, apart from a little flexibility at weekends/birthday etc was set in stone. Children need their sleep.

Our local BBC news has had an item running all week about a clinic which deals with children's sleep issues. The consultant said that sleep for children is as important as food. If they don't get enough it effects absolutely everything- schooling, behaviour, appetite etc.

If I were you I'd do a bit of googling and find out the recommended number of hours your children should be sleeping and show him. He's being a Twat keeping them up. Can't he see it's making them cranky?

Allthewaves Sat 14-Jan-17 22:55:12

depends, mine need lots of sleep, they are exhausted after school. ds(5) goes to bed 7.45pm but he sleeps until 7.30am. ds(8) goes to bed 8.30 and sleeps to 7.30am. Might stick them in bed half hour plus earlier one night a wk if they are extra ratty but they would be up a little earlier

Rainydayspending Sat 14-Jan-17 22:56:27

Yes, they ought to get a proper night's sleep. But. Physical exercise might help break that cycle. I take mine out for a good long walk or such on a day they under sleep.

Artandco Sat 14-Jan-17 23:01:03

A good sleep yes. But o don't see why they can't go outside during the day and still go to bed on the evening?

Mine have never gone to bed at 7.30pm. Currnetly 9pm bed, wake 8am schooldays, later if they like at weekends

Notcontent Sat 14-Jan-17 23:05:23

Absolutely. As someone else said, sleep is as important as food for children. Most children become cranky, hyperactive and generally horrible when they are over tired!!!

annandale Sat 14-Jan-17 23:09:50

I'm quite anal about bedtimes but in a way we are 'lucky' in that ds gets visibly ill without enough sleep - usually a fever, and he looks like death, so much so that his school don't even give me any grief about attendance because if I push it and send him in because I think he's swinging the lead they ring me up and say in hushed tones 'he is UNWELL' So i'm on your side 100%.

On the other hand, it is essential that kids get outside, all the more so if they have not had enough sleep. If you don't think they are well, then fair enough, but some fresh air and exercise if they are tired and grumpy is vital (not 2 hours cycling but a bit of a swim or a run around).

Lesley1980 Sat 14-Jan-17 23:14:55

I completely agree with you. Our daughter had a 7.30 bedtime until she was 3 & her dad took over. He would put her bed any time between 8 & 10 & then tell her multiple stories & had her bouncing on the bed. She was falling asleep at nursery & grumpy & acting up at home all afternoon. He argued she liked his stories so why shouldn't she have them?? He would work lates & I'd spend 3/4 days breaking his habit & tell him how much better she is with more sleep & he would still go back to his old routine. She is 4 now & I put her to bed at 7 so he can tell his long story. He has got a bit better but still doesn't see the problem.

I call it glory parenting. He gets all the praise of being fun dad that tells great, long, exciting, fun stories & lets her jump on bed & stay up watching films or playing & i end up being the one that wakes her when she is tired & gives her rows for being rude, badly behaved & grumpy. He has nothing to lose as he is at work all day.

Saxie007 Sat 14-Jan-17 23:21:35

Glory parenting, maybe that is it. I think he feels like it's a treat. It's not for me, or any of us the next day. It's wearing. I like fun at the weekends. Not constant tears, tantrums and moaning. I just feel like I'm being a witch putting them to bed on time.

gamerwidow Sat 14-Jan-17 23:37:30

Children need sleep if dd(6) doesn't have enough sleep she gets tearful and argumentative and generally a nightmare to do anything with. Her teachers can always tell when she hasn't slept well and ask me if she is tired. Exercise outside is good for regulating sleep though and getting DC to fall asleep straightaway at bedtime so I'd take her out even if she was tired.

ludothedog Sun 15-Jan-17 00:47:04

some children need more sleep than others. I think at 5 and 7 they should be able to cope with staying wake a little bit later at the weekends and holidays. DD (7) went to bed tonight at 10.15pm. She'll sleep a little bit later tomorrow. She doesn't get grumpy or "dreadful" because she went to bed late.

NightCzar Sun 15-Jan-17 01:02:20

I agree with you re bedtime, but I find getting mine out and about reduces whinging amazingly. So I'd push on with the bike rides etc. perhaps if they've had a busy day, they'll more willingly go to bed earlier.

DailyFail1 Sun 15-Jan-17 01:15:20

Depends on the child. Dd is 8 and has a 10pm bedtime. DN is 4 and has an 11pm bedtime because she never sleeps more than 6 or 7 hours

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