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to think if you're married you have a joint bank account and joint finances

(368 Posts)
User100 Sat 14-Jan-17 21:02:57

So my wife and I have a joint bank account and joint fiances, all our money goes into and our of joint accounts. This seems to me entirely normal; the vast majority of our expenses are shared/family/kids e.g. mortgage, household bills, days out with the kids, grocery shop, kids clothing, kids clubs etc. Obviously there are occasional personal things (clothing, nights out that only involve one of us) but relatively minor in our expenses. It seems genuinely insane to me that we would keep seperate accounts then each pay half of the joint expenses - the admin would be a pain and we're married - even if we get divorced our assets would be split not on the basis of who owns them but as splitting things we own jointly.
I genuinely can't see any other way of looking at things but there is a theme in MN (and elsewhere) that suggests others view things differently. The recent example of this was a thread where someone said "I don't know why I bother working, my income barely covers child care" and numerous people responded "doesn't your husband pay half the child care". That question makes literally no sense to me (for the reasons outlined above). Can anyone explain what I'm missing?

JennyOnAPlate Sat 14-Jan-17 21:04:52

Nope I'm with you op. I'm completely baffled by "his money" and "my money" within a marriage when there are children.

Gillian1980 Sat 14-Jan-17 21:05:37

Not everyone thinks in such a reasonable way.

Plenty of people find it works having separate accounts but it can certainly go wrong too.

I'm all for both incomes being family money and joint account but the view appears to vary.

Sparklingbrook Sat 14-Jan-17 21:06:49

That's how we do it, but I know lots of couples that insist on separate. A friend has no idea what her husband earns as they have separate bank accounts.

gamerchick Sat 14-Jan-17 21:07:02

Me and the husband have separate finances. No joint account for bills neither. He pays a chunk of bills and I pay the rest.

It works for us.

CoconutGal Sat 14-Jan-17 21:07:19

DH & I have a joint account for bills only. We half the bills & on each of our pay days there's a standing order that goes out for the amount set. Whatever is left in either of our accounts is ours to do what we like with. I use a bus to get to work so that wouldn't come out of the bills account, that goes on a card from my own account. It just seemed right for us to do things this way & has worked like this for about 4 years with no problems.

ijustwannadance Sat 14-Jan-17 21:07:47

That's great if it works for you. We manage perfectly fine with our seperate accounts.

Guavaf1sh Sat 14-Jan-17 21:08:37

I guess it's like communism. The theory is perfect but in reality people take advantage and the system breaks down

AuntieStella Sat 14-Jan-17 21:09:20

I consider all the assets, income and expenditure to be joint.

But we've never had a joint account.

Girlsworld92 Sat 14-Jan-17 21:09:36

We work with just one joint bank account but I know other people who have a joint bank account that both wages go into and then they both have an allowance from that each month into a separate act for anything they want to do i.e. clothes/social. All family bits come out of the main joint act though. I think that's quite a fair way of working it too.

OnionKnight Sat 14-Jan-17 21:09:41

DH & I have a joint account for bills only. We half the bills & on each of our pay days there's a standing order that goes out for the amount set. Whatever is left in either of our accounts is ours to do what we like with. I use a bus to get to work so that wouldn't come out of the bills account, that goes on a card from my own account. It just seemed right for us to do things this way & has worked like this for about 4 years with no problems.

That's great if it works for you, however doesn't one of you have more money left over to play with?

KellyBoo800 Sat 14-Jan-17 21:10:04

Shared finances is completely normal but isn't for everyone.

DH and I don't have shared finances and it works well for use we both pay into a 'shared' account which is only in my name but we both have access to - this covers rent, bills, food and childcare. We then both have roughly the same left over each to spend on our own bills and ourselves. I earn about 3x more than him but think it's fair that we both have the same left over after shared bills are paid because we both work full time. I did get a promotion quite recently that included quite a hefty payrise and didn't increase my contribution to our shared bills because there was no need - it would mean he could reduce his payments but he is only paying about £120 a week towards all shared outgoings, so no need to reduce it.

I then pay for the majority of holidays and days out etc because of the difference in pay.

Works for us but only because we both work full time- if we have kids together (he has a DD) it will likely be him that goes part time and I'd have to subsidise him more, probablt by joining our finances, which I would be fine with doing.

KERALA1 Sat 14-Jan-17 21:10:18

Totally agree.

If married and you split it's all on the table - irrelevant whose name it's in.

If you are entirely separate yet rely on spouses accounts make sure you have a lasting power of attorney in case somrhing happened. Less of a worry if joint accounts.

Allthewaves Sat 14-Jan-17 21:10:38

because everyone's different and people manage money differently

I will never have a joint account with dh as he lacks any money management skills. Works for us

ThePinkOcelot Sat 14-Jan-17 21:11:00

Same as Gamerchick here. Separate accounts, separate bills to pay. Works for us.
Each to their own eh?!

arethereanyleftatall Sat 14-Jan-17 21:11:08

We don't have one. Never needed one. Dh pays most bills, I pay some. Both have enough money in own accounts for anything we want.

User100 Sat 14-Jan-17 21:11:09

So is not literally 80-90% joint spending once you include house, kids stuff, dates together etc?

EatSpamAmandaLamb Sat 14-Jan-17 21:13:29

We don't have a joint current account, only joint savings, but mainly because we have been too lazy to sort one out for the past decade. We do however have full access to each other's accounts/passwords/PINs.

I see no point in us (us personally) getting married unless we share finances it would be like living apart. Both of those work for other couples but wouldn't be suitable constituent parts of our marriage for either of us.

LilyRose16 Sat 14-Jan-17 21:14:39

We're married 5 years and have no joint account, we both pay certain bills and equal share of the mortgage, I wouldn't want my money to go into a join account, I have always been financially independent and like it that way. if I want to buy something with my money I just go ahead, I don't have to check with my DH. That would make me feel dependant.

DailyFaily Sat 14-Jan-17 21:14:49

It seems 'genuinely insane' to you? We have separate accounts, it's really not problematic let alone insane.

MajesticWhine Sat 14-Jan-17 21:14:53

Agree with OP. We have a joint account, all income goes in, all bills come out. We also have a personal account each with a monthly standing order paid from the joint account to each personal account. This has worked for years. Each of us have the same personal spend regardless of salary and this is used for clothes, going out with friends, cappuccinos etc. We got together very young when we set all this up. Maybe that made it easier.

Motherfuckers Sat 14-Jan-17 21:15:00

I enjoy being financially independent.

Mulberry72 Sat 14-Jan-17 21:15:10

Yep, I'm with you OP

DH brings in five times what I do,but our earnings go into the same bank account and all our bills etc come out of the same account. Anything we want is paid for out of that account. We've never had any issues.

My DSis and her DH have separate accounts and all they do is argue about money, she thinks he's tight and he thinks she's reckless. I couldn't be doing with all that every month, it would drive me mad!

User100 Sat 14-Jan-17 21:15:30

Allthewaves - "I will never have a joint account with dh as he lacks any money management skills." But you presumably own a house together and if you're married then if he is declared bankrupt they'll repossess your home and destroy your credit rating so it's not like you are sheltered from that. TBH my money management skills aren't great - my wife tends to do the day to day money management side of things because it's something she's far better at.

dingit Sat 14-Jan-17 21:15:30

You'd love our way.

I'm a sahm. We have joint account for bills. I have cb ( or equivalent as we aren't eligible) for my spends. He has rest in his account. But he is the most generous and easy going bloke on the planet. If I wanted extra he'd give it to me. Any large purchase is researched and discussed between us. All our savings are in my name for tax reasons, he wouldn't know how much we have, although knows roughly. It's works.

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