FIL"s doing my head in!(24 Posts)
I just want to vent. He's staying with us in order to help out as we move house. We're in the new house now but the old house needs tidying up and a few things moved. FIL is a gardener and is mowing and all that.
He keeps telling me EVERYTHING he's doing!
"I'll just put this milk down the drain, it's old. Now I'm going to take this out to my car and put it in my boot...then I think I'll repack that box because it's a mess...do you know, this place is like a farm...it's so big...how will you manage it? Look at the dog, he's barking..."
ON AND ON AND ON!
It doesn't matter if I'm looking at my screen and typing...he just talks!
Thank you FIL for coming to help but I can't bastard cope any more! THREE DAYS IT"S BEEN!
Oh and I DO spend some quality time with him chatting etc...before anyone tells me I'm mean and he just wants company.
But he's like a bloody wind up monkey! Never still, never quiet. He's 70! He just whizzes about TALKING!
My granny is the same!!
Mtifay she rang me to tell me what happened at the hospital (got the all clear) but proceeded to tell me everything about the whole fucking journey, from - getting the taxi to how much she paid to the time she arrived, how many mins early, what corridors she walked to get to the cafe, to what she ordered ect... To the fucking bus ride home and what weather it was when she got off it.
I'd swallowed my own tongue by the time she has finished
Aaaaaaaand breath. Everyone has annoying habits but he's helping you. So just grit your teeth and smile. On the scale of irritating behaviour this is low!
Potnoodle, now I think about it my Mum's the same.
"Jean and I went to that new pub for lunch. I had the lamb chops with potatoes, green beans, mint sauce and gravy, Jean had fish and chips. She didn't have lemon or tartar sauce though. We both had apple crumble afterwards and Jean had a glass of wine. I had ginger beer....then we drove up to Mary's to visit her...she's had an operation..."
ON AND ON! WHY!
Paul I know, I know. It must be the stress of moving. Everything's in boxes, I've had the same clothes on for two days now and I can't find my box with makeup in it!"
My back hurts and I trod on an earring.
This made me smile. My mum used to be the same way. When you'd ask her about a certain event, say a doctor's appointment, she'd have to tell you the tale of the whole day.
Me: Mum, how did your doctor's appointment go today?
Mum: Well, let me tell you. I got up this morning early......had for breakfast.......did you see XX on the morning tv......drove to the doctor's.....did you know their putting in an XX where the XX used to be? Anyway, I wore that blue dress, you know the one .........the traffic was awful......did you ever see such rain and the way people drive........ad infinitum
Me: Mum, Mum, but what did the doctor say?
Mum: Well, I was just telling you, weren't you listening? I told you that I got up at .........had for breakfast...........
Me: <silent scream>
But Mum has dementia now and isn't able to tell me anything. So just grit your teeth and try to be patient. There but for the grace of God go you or I in less years that we realize.
My Dad is just the same, he can make a five minute event into a twenty minute story!
I have a relative like this - tells me life stories about people I've never even heard of - drives me insane. Always does it around 6pm. On the other hand, I wish my mum and dad were still around to make me want to scream aaarrggghh, and I wish my in laws cared enough to even ring me
My MIL chats endlessly about people I don't know.
"Jenny's had a baby. Of course Jean is delighted because she was feeling very left out after Mary's daughter had her little boy. But she's been run ragged what with Jack's operation... "
I have never met any of these people
My MIL does this. I love her dearly, but it gets grating because she comments on everything. It's like having a commentator in the house!
"Oh, the cat is miaowing... What are you miaowing at?... Is it because the baby is crying? She'll be quiet soon... Won't you poppet... I think she's settling... Oh look at the cat on it's climber, they love that climber, is it time for Emmerdale... Stupid bloody thing (usually something on her laptop that won't do what she wants)... Just open..."
My lovely ex mil used to do the monologuing thing but about my own dc/parents! Tell me everything - usually info I had told her myself - about where they were, what they were up to, their likes and dislikes... as if I didn't know! I used to wonder if it was a reassurance thing, a kind of check that her view of her world (my part of it) was right.
I work with someone like this in a small office. She even does it if I answer the phone and am talking to someone. She is speculating who I am talking to (which client) and in her normal voice too, not hushed tones. She reduces me to tears of frustration regularly. Luckily I only work with her two days a week. She's the same with delivery drivers or anyone near enough to hear. It is batshit crazy and very stressing.
My fil doesn't speak or smile. He just sits there, occasionally sighing or making a negative comment e.g. "it'll probably rain" then a sigh.
He is eeyore personified and can bring your mood down from averagely cheerful to totally flat within 30 minutes.
Kerala, My dad was like that growing up! I remember I walked in to a dark room and turned on the light and he was sitting in there in the dark, not listening to music or sleeping, just sitting in a dark room. That's when I realised he had problems
And people are againtst Seroxat!!!
Yes he does the inert sitting thing too.
Dh has reacted to this by being the most cheerful, upbeat, can do person ever so meeting his father blew me away!
Kerala, my late FIL was like that, the in laws would call in to visit on their way home from the market.
Every Tuesday around 1.00pm I'd hear their car turn into our road, I knew it was them because he had a reluctance to change gear from 3rd into 4th, the engine would be screaming for a gear change, his driving is a whole other thread though.
MIL had dementia and hardly spoke at all, she would answer if spoken to but never initiated conversations, she smiled a lot though, I think to cover for her obvious confusion. Tuesdays went like this: They'd arrive, I'd have made some lunch for them prior to them arriving so the first 30 minutes or so was taken up with that. Afterwards I would what they'd been up to he would answer with as little conversation as possible, MIL would do her grinning, nodding and smiling thing.
I continued trying to make conversation but he'd just sit and do what yours does. After two hours of this I was exhausted and gave up and put the telly on.
This was preferable to the times when they'd come back from holiday (which was often) and brought a two hour video of their holiday, he fancied himself as the travel expert of the day so the footage contained sound bytes such as 'The Bathroom'. The Show, this was shaky footage of the entertainment complete with someone wandering back from the bar with a tray of drinks. 'The Pool' was the best one, footage of MIL on a lounger with topless women in the background, one woman was so pissed off with him filming The Pool she swims right up to him and sprays him and the camera with a mouthful of water.
My Nan was like this, would take forever to get to the point with several tangents along the way, and frustrated me no end sometimes. It's one of the things I miss most about her and I'd give anything to have her back.
My dd is exactly the same and uses 1000 words to give a 10 word answer.
One of my colleagues it like this. She gives a running commentary as she goes about her day. "I'm just going to turn the computer on and then I'll pop to the loo and then I think I'll put the kettle on and make everyone a nice cup of tea oh I've got emails I wonder what that's about I expect it's important I'd better wait for that pee after all I'll ask Toad to make the tea Toad can you make the tea I'm really busy I've got email. Toad. Toad......".
Oh God my mum does all the above. Follows me around the house giving a runnning commentary on what I am doing and making silly jokes about, say, the washing - which I am expected to respond to. If there is nothing to talk about she starts looking around the room for something, anything - you can see her doing it! - and then she'll comment on something and expect a response even if it's the most inane thing ever. It's like she cannot bear a moment of silence.
However, she can be total opposite if she's got a sudoku on the go! She'll ask me a question and I'll be a couple of sentences into answering and realise she's turned back to the sudoku and is just 'hmming' along but not really paying any attention whatsoever!
I need to be careful I don't go the same way though! My adult DS asked me how X event had gone and, as I gleefully started to give him a detailed account, a look of panic crossed his face and he was 'erm... just a brief synopsis will do, mum!'
DM does this. I asked her about an incident I'd vaguely heard about on their holiday. I got a whole load of waffle about my brother eating a pound of bacon, various unrelated comments then finally 'And then the next day.....' before she got to the bit I was interested in. It's become code for me and the DH when someone's talking shit or waffling.
Kerala im v good humoured ad well. If something bad happens i bluster and vent but then get on with it. Even tho i deal with things v differently from my Dad my mother will not tolerate even a momentary wobble from me. Like say ten minutes after losing my job she would be ordering me to buck up etc. Weird really. She hasnt noticed that i just need one big vent then im fine again. She's terrified we'll turn in to our Dad.
I was about to say YABU but then I remembered when my mum was visiting me to help with childcare and kept doing my head in with her pointless chattering and various other annoying habits. I grinned and bared it but it dismay head in!
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