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My experience of UK men vs European men early stages of a relationship

(130 Posts)
lottieandmia Fri 13-Jan-17 23:14:51

I'm probably going to annoy some people with this post but it's just my experience and I wonder if anyone else has noticed the same.

The other day I was thinking about the fact that it is British guys usually whi seem to be the masters of dicking women around in the early stages of a relationship. They are the ones who don't know how they feel, say one thing and do another. You feel like you have to pin them down to state their feelings and they're still on Tinder/POF or whatever.

By contrast the European men were very up front about their feelings from the outset (I've found). This does NOT mean they are perfect - I've had a different set if problems with them that's all. But if they like you it's as straight forward as 'I like you, you like me - let's be together'.

For this reason I've had few relationships with UK guys, except my ex husband and even he was the same - messing me about stressing me for about 6 months. Then finally deciding he could say he really wanted to be with me.

I'm sure some people will think I'm unreasonable for a variety of reasons. Yes it's a generalisation just like Brits binge drink etc.

TheNaze73 Fri 13-Jan-17 23:37:20

Thanks for that.

Bit of a sweeping generalisation but, if that's how you feel, it can't be or shouldn't be argued.

TheSpottedZebra Fri 13-Jan-17 23:38:57

Has wine been taken?

lottieandmia Fri 13-Jan-17 23:42:38

Um no blush I'm doing dry January.

Madeyemoodysmum Fri 13-Jan-17 23:45:08

I think it depends on the man but like you say. Your experience. Whose better in bed? That's the question?

corythatwas Fri 13-Jan-17 23:45:34

"European men"- so there is one type of European man: Swedes and Italians and Turks and Poles are all in one category and Englishmen in another??? hmm

lottieandmia Fri 13-Jan-17 23:47:50

Of course it does depend on the man. And I'm not NT either so that alters my perceptions. I'm willing to be told I'm talking shite wink it just seems to me that the European guys I've been in relationship with / dated stated their intentions early on and clearly.

lottieandmia Fri 13-Jan-17 23:49:57

Cory I think here in the uk we are in some ways not like the rest of Europe. Generally. There are cultural differences are there not?

I think our culture is less openly patriarchal for example,

lottieandmia Fri 13-Jan-17 23:51:47

I didn't say English - my husband was Welsh.

Lessthanaballpark Fri 13-Jan-17 23:55:14

I don't disagree according to my own personal experience if that helps OP but I could be practising some confirmation bias hmm

WorraLiberty Fri 13-Jan-17 23:55:40

I'm glad you're willing to be told you're talking shite

Because guess what?...

MyWineTime Fri 13-Jan-17 23:59:26

I'm fascinated by how large your sample size was for this incredible generalisation.

WorraLiberty Fri 13-Jan-17 23:59:45

And WRT not knowing how you feel in the early stages of a relationship, is that not completely normal?

Unless you're using a dating site called 'Arranged Marriage.com', or 'Needy Daters R Us', surely it's ok for people to not know one way or another how they feel, during the early stages?

finnmcool Fri 13-Jan-17 23:59:53

I have never been treated badly (EA) as quickly as I was by a British man.
The 'European' man that was an arse in disguise (Portuguese) is not so affectionately known as the Exorcist.
Why on earth are you making such a sweeping statement?
Oh, and you are talking shite.

corythatwas Sat 14-Jan-17 00:00:47

Less openly patriarchal than Swedish or Danish society? Really?

I was not denying that there are certain cultural aspects which are common in Britain. It was your totally loony suggestion that the rest of Europe is one homogenous mass.

TrollTheRespawnJeremy Sat 14-Jan-17 00:02:09

snurk @ sample size

lottieandmia Sat 14-Jan-17 00:05:04

It's ok up to a point Worra, of course. But not when it's messing the other person around and saying one thing / doing another.

For clarification my experience is limited to places like Italy, Greece, Spain and Eastern Europe. I have no experience of Scandinavia.

corythatwas Sat 14-Jan-17 00:08:08

What is your experience actually like if you see even those countries as one samey place? How much have you understood of the countries you have been in/the men you have dated? Even between northern and southern Italy there are massive cultural differences.

And that is before we tackle the more vital question of all countries being populated by individuals.

WorraLiberty Sat 14-Jan-17 00:08:15

Mind you, I have experienced the straightforward 'I like you, you like me - let's be together' simplicity from some European men over the last month or two.

The trouble is, I'm very happily married and all I did was simply comment on a few trending news stories on Facebook.

It reminded me why I rarely check my 'other messages' folder hmm

April229 Sat 14-Jan-17 00:08:48

Wow, seems like you can't have an option on things here these days!

OP I'm inclined to agree, I think it's reasonable to say that Spainish and Italian people are more frequently more expressive when it comes to there feelings in general, I have a spainish friend who finds us brits very reserved, and that's our reputation in general I think. Where as in others countries in all manner of ways people are more expressive, less on the fence more prepared to be open about how they feel. I'm sure this translates to the way they are with people they are dating.

Yesitsmeagain Sat 14-Jan-17 00:09:42

I have experience of Scandinavia. Very matter of fact about his ardour for me. Came before he could get his pants off. hmm

corythatwas Sat 14-Jan-17 00:10:56

April, you can have an opinion all right. But when that opinion betrays your complete ignorance (as in, describing "Europe" as one homogenous country), then other posters are perfectly entitled to express their opinion about that. Or can't you have an opinion on here any longer...?

melj1213 Sat 14-Jan-17 00:11:14

I have lived all over Europe (Spain, Germany, Greece, Turkey and Italy) and the idea that all of those nationalities are remotely the same purely because they are all European is laughably generalistic.

Hell, when I lived in Spain the Andalucian guy I dated could not have been more different from the Catalan guy I dated, never mind any other nationality!

PickledCauliflower Sat 14-Jan-17 00:11:54

My experience with the less fairer sex is a little limited (but maybe not that limited)..
I found that they are the same all over. Some are shits and some are fine.
That's it really smile

WorraLiberty Sat 14-Jan-17 00:11:58

Wow, seems like you can't have an option on things here these days!

Oh you can.

Including the option to make sweeping generalisations about people from certain countries.

Then other people get the option to say what they think about that.

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