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Mother upsets daughter changing for swimming

(208 Posts)
Twig45 Fri 13-Jan-17 16:55:03

AIBU please tell me if I am but at swimming lessons with 2 of my ds in woman's changing rooms which has lots of cubicles. One mother is completely starkers at the lockers ( she is big lady so taking up a lot of room) she is getting dressed and shouting at her daughter who is over the other side with her back turned. Daughter is about 10 and is shouting mum you are so embarrassing there is loads of cubicles and everyone is staring. Mum is shouting it is you making everyone stare with your constant whining about everything. Everyone is staring because of the noise and because she is completely starkers and not even starting to get dressed AIBU to think this poor daughter was absolutely embarrassed and humiliated.

Rainydayspending Fri 13-Jan-17 16:56:50

I think I agree with the mum. You expect a bit of nudity in a changing room.

Trifleorbust Fri 13-Jan-17 16:57:45

YABU. Why should this mother reinforce body shaming norms for her DD? It's a changing room; she got changed. Her DD has the option to use a cubicle if she is embarrassed by her own nudity.

Gileswithachainsaw Fri 13-Jan-17 16:58:03

They both embarrassed and humiliated each other with the shouting.

No need.

The nudity well it's a changing room maybe cos if her size she struggles to fit comfortably in one they aren't always very big.

Or maybe she doesn't give a shit and fair play to her if she doesn't.

You kinda expect to see people in various states of u dress in a changing room.

However no need for the Jeremy kyle audition...

ProudBadMum Fri 13-Jan-17 16:58:10

Is this a fat people shouldn't be seen thread?

Because I'm not sure what the woman's size and the comment about her taking up a lot of room have to do with anything

Ilovecaindingle Fri 13-Jan-17 16:58:54

If there are cubicles why would anyone need to expect a bit of nudity?

Bluntness100 Fri 13-Jan-17 16:59:47

Of course you're not being unreasonable

On one hand there is nothing wrong with nudity and the naked body and it's good for kids to know that. However this woman's just going to give her daughter hang ups about it.

And I really don't understand folks who do that, get starkers at the pool and gym when there is cubicles there. I am not inhibited about being naked, but I don't get naked in front of strangers and I'd really rather not catch a glimpse of someone's bare ass or genitalia. Seriously. If it's there and free, use a fucking cubicle.

Rainydayspending Fri 13-Jan-17 17:00:38

if it were my gym there are only a few cubicles for those prefering more privacy.

Soubriquet Fri 13-Jan-17 17:00:47

Cubicles are too small the change in ours

So a lot of people change at the bench

No one looks, everyone is quick as they can be

The Dd bought more attention to them by making a fuss

If she was that embarrassed she should have used a tiny cubicle

TrinityForce Fri 13-Jan-17 17:01:44

she's a big lady so she was taking up a lot of room?

yeah right. presumably small enough to fit in a cubicle so not THAT much room.

totally unnecessary comment.

PigletWasPoohsFriend Fri 13-Jan-17 17:02:56

she is big lady so taking up a lot of room

Your point is what exactly, that larger people should hide themselves away.

YABU for that comment alone.

echolaliacellardoor Fri 13-Jan-17 17:03:38

Yes, I'm not sure if it's your intention, but you come across as pretty nasty in your comments about her size, OP.

Of course shouting at each other in a changing room isn't that nice.

But you've no idea of the background, you've no idea of what their relationship is like outwith that exchange, and you've no right to make disparaging comments about another person's body.

TheNaze73 Fri 13-Jan-17 17:04:40

I think they're staring because of what she is saying to the child, not because she's naked & large

liz70 Fri 13-Jan-17 17:05:16

If my mum had done that when I was ten, I would have fucking died of embarrassment too, and I would never have gone swimming with her again, ever.

MontePulciana Fri 13-Jan-17 17:05:49

I'm always starkers in the changing area. Cubicles are claustrophobic and dark. I can't use them.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Fri 13-Jan-17 17:07:08

So,if she was a small lady it would be ok?

bummymummy77 Fri 13-Jan-17 17:09:12

Why did you mention her size?

Twig45 Fri 13-Jan-17 17:13:44

Exactly thenase I don't mind any nudity but it's a council pool no benches lots of large cubicles and people were trying to get too lockers and daughter is crying. Im not one to pander ever kids whining but would try not to purposely embarrass them

notsurehowtodothis Fri 13-Jan-17 17:13:55

Totally U.

It's a changing room. People are naked there.

Twig45 Fri 13-Jan-17 17:15:16

I mentioned the size because of the lockerrs and lots of people has to ask her to move which embarrassed daughter even further

icy121 Fri 13-Jan-17 17:16:42

Naked fatter woman in changing rooms oh the horror [clutches pearls]

twocockersarebetterthanone Fri 13-Jan-17 17:16:43

Funny how you didn't address the questions about why you mentioned her size 🤔. I mean why should you have to justify yourself? I mean everyone knows fat people aren't allowed out during daylight hours are they!

Stickerrocks Fri 13-Jan-17 17:17:12

Surely you should be delighted that your two boys could go into a cubicle and get out of everyone else's way, as it wasn't being used by a "big lady".

PigletWasPoohsFriend Fri 13-Jan-17 17:17:52

I mentioned the size because of the lockerr

There was no need to mention her size at all.


Mintychoc1 Fri 13-Jan-17 17:18:10

I take the OP's comment on her size as meaning she was noticeable, because she was big. In the same way someone would be noticeable if they had lots of blue hair or something. Just a feature that made the whole seen more visible to other people, not a statement that fat people should hide themselves away.

Of course it's a changing room, people have the right to walk around naked whatever their size, but it seems unfair to deliberately embarrass your child. Surely we must all remember how embarrassing parents can be when we were younger. It sounds as if the mum was trying to prove a point, which I think is unfair.

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