Urrrggghhh AWFUL week at work - help me find my grip!

[BeezKneezCapz]

I've not long returned from maternity leave (been back around 3 months) .

I've struggled at work this week - I've a long term condition which has flared up, I don't feel like I fit in and I've PMT.

I am miserable .

My colleagues are bitchy and exclusive - they'll only talk to me when they feel like it .

I've been in tears twice this week - my boss made me feel like a failure over something she has mis interpreted and has assumed I just couldn't be bothered to do the work . I've tried to explain and show her why the work wasn't done but for some reason she just will not accept it

I feel my mood is slipping and although I'm polite and friendly and will join in a joke where I can, I'm concious that my colleagues think I'm miserable and cold shouldered.

Some of this is down to the fact that I've heard the things they've said about me so I don't want to get too close .

I've returned from maternity and my cover has excelled at my role - she has even been promoted within our sector - something I have never been in line for . My cover is also the "Queen Bee".

My condition has meant that I've had to scale back on work load which has been handed over to my cover

I feel so deflated and redundant .

When my boss approached me today about the lack of work (or so she thought!) , I cried

I tried to explain but she wasn't interested and I couldn't get my words out so she assumed I was being rude .

I had a good relationship with her but all I've done is hidden away at my desk all day as I'm so defeated .

How can I deal with these feelings ready to re group?

I have to go in to work on Sunday and I'm dreading it .

I'm emotional (period due !) , feeling annoyed and hurt by my boss , feeling left behind in my role and feeling excluded from the team (some of it my own doing as I simply don't trust them).

Any advice ?

[Treysanatomy]

Oh OP it's such an awful feeling when you're not happy at work.

My return from mat leave has been similar and I spend all weekend dreading Monday morning.

Could you look for an internal transfer to another department? Or look for a new job externally? I know you shouldn't have too but sometimes it's the only way to move forward.

[Katy07]

Can you write it down for her? That way you'll get your words out without getting upset or crying and you'll not end up forgetting anything important.

[JakeBallardswife]

I hate feeling like this. You know you are a competent, capable person, recently back from maternity leave, huge adjustments and you are aware that your role has been filled and she has done it well.

Well done for leaving your role in such a state that it could so easily be taken over.

I'm guessing you're not too thrilled to be there, can you,look for something else? New company etc or different department or office?

[JakeBallardswife]

If its any help its our Christmas Night out tonight. ( No idea quite why its in January.) There were huge plans to do something amazing in the new year but the boss has booked it for the local pub that does crap food.

As the date has changed twice I've given the excuse that I've already got something on.

Cannot face Christmas night out in January!

[BeezKneezCapz]

Cheers everyone

Looking for a new job is not an option right now for different reasons.

I'm wallowing in the bath with a bottle of wine whilst DH sorts the baby .

I just want to shake this feeling of uselessness