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Feeling so nervous about wedding

(18 Posts)
CodyAndTheCups Fri 13-Jan-17 09:11:48

Not about the actual marriage, I love my df to bits. But about the ceremony, people looking at me. Having to dance in front of people. I'm so anxious about it. I've put on weight since my son was born nearly two years ago and I feel so self conscious about it. So worried people will be talking about my weight gain. Especially those who I don't see often. I always wanted to be a beautiful bride and now I'm going to be a frumpy one sad wedding is in May.

moreslackthanslick Fri 13-Jan-17 09:15:40

How much weight are we talking about? May is ages away and you could lose a good amount by then. I know if your head isn't in the right place though it can be hard to just get into that zone.
I know what you mean though, I was scared of being looked at and judged on my day 4 years ago but in the end excitement took over and I didn't care.

Sassypants82 Fri 13-Jan-17 09:17:47

No you won't. Don't be so hard on yourself. Also, there's plenty of time between now & May to make a significant difference in your weight. People, if they're worth anything to you, will be brimming with happiness & good wishes for you both on your wedding day, anyone who comments on your appearance other than to admire how much you are sparkling because you're so happy, is just a horrible, shallow asshole & not worth another thought.

For your own confidence though, may is still a long way off. Your wedding day is going to roll around then no matter what you do - your CHOICE now is, do you want to be lighter /slimmer /more confident, the same, or bigger? The choice is yours. All it will take is a bit of hardwork, planning & will power. You'll feel amazing. Go for it!!!

CodyAndTheCups Fri 13-Jan-17 09:18:40

I was about 8 stone before I got pregnant, and now I would guess I am about 10 1/2 maybe nearer 11? It's more that my stomach is sooo flabby after c section and nothing I do makes it tighten up a bit. Feel like hacking it off. The worst part is I used to think I was flabby at 8 stone.. I'd give anything to have my old figure back!!

Sunnydaysrock Fri 13-Jan-17 09:20:53

You still have a few months to make a difference! I joined slimmming world after my DD was born and got married the following year (longer I know, but you can loose quite a few pounds in the time u have). I also suffered badly with panic attacks (they occasionally still rear their ugly head), I was determined to go through with everything and not let anxiety ruin my wedding. Going into the ceremony was really hard. I spoke to the registrar before I went in and explained how nervous I was and I might not stand for my vows. Just telling her made it better and I did stand in all the right places. As for the first dance, hopefully by then you'll have had a few drinks and be having such a great time it will b absolutely fine. Or you can let a few close relatives know that you'd like them to join in after a few minutes. Good luck, you will be fine.

Sassypants82 Fri 13-Jan-17 09:21:58

You just need a confidence boost. Cut out the crap - don't even have it in the house, plan & prepare from fresh. Do a meal plan & shopping list & stick with it. How about joining a slimming support group?

WhoKn0wsWhereTheTimeG0es Fri 13-Jan-17 09:24:33

They really won't be thinking that at all. They are there because they are your friends and family, your weight won't be what they see, just your happiness. If it would help your confidence you could lose a little (dress fitting permitting) in the time left.

I sympathise though, after we got engaged I would wake up in a cold sweat after having nightmares about wearing a huge white dress and everyone staring at me. It was ok in the end, we had a small, fairly informal ceremony that was over quickly and we just blended in with the party after that.

Also you don't have to dance in front of everyone, I cannot think of anything I'd less rather do, DH the same so we didn't do it.

Girlsworld92 Fri 13-Jan-17 09:28:12

You could easily lose a couple of stone by may. I do slimming world and I lost 3 stone of baby weight in about 6 months and have kept it off. I have a belly like you and it used to really bother me and I still don't love it but I've accepted it as it gave me my 2 lovely girls so I don't let it worry me any more. I'm sure you'll have an amazing day and you won't think about all the people around you at the time x

Justanothernameonthepage Fri 13-Jan-17 09:36:37

I hate her diet plan, but Tracey Anderson post pregnancy really helped my post Csection belly firm up. I'd say it took 3 months (5times a week) to a point where I felt it had worked.

Justanothernameonthepage Fri 13-Jan-17 09:37:35

Sorry, the post pregnancy DVD. Just to be clear. Her diet plan is pretty insane but the exercises worked for me

hellsbellsmelons Fri 13-Jan-17 09:37:43

Well you are hardly 'fat'
But if you aren't happy with it then you can get some weight off before May.
Aim for 1lb a week and anything extra is a bonus.
Unfortunately there is feck-all you can do about your C-section belly.
I would need surgery to sort mine out and my DD is now 19!
Knickers that pull you in are your friend on your wedding day.
Try not to worry - honestly.
You will be a beautiful bride and have a wonderful day.
If you relax about it, realise it's your day, sod everyone else and enjoy it!!!!

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Fri 13-Jan-17 09:49:23

A friend was similarly anxious but she dropped around half a stone healthily in less than 5 months and toned up. She bought a beautiful basque which made her feel super shapely beneath her gown.

You know the folks who would be likely to critique your appearance would find something to fault, even if you spent a bundle and drove yourself ragged in the pursuit of 'perfection'; don't panic, don't fret.

specialsubject Fri 13-Jan-17 09:52:31

None of what you mention is compulsory. Lose the first dance (nauseating anyway), have a quiet ceremony if you want.

Don't diet for a dress - especially not the dreaded white frills and lace that flatters no one (princess di, princess Kate both had ghastly dresses).

lekkerkroketje Fri 13-Jan-17 10:45:21

You can work out the bits you hate and cut them out! I hate being the centre of attention. I didn't walk up the aisle (too much staring). DH and I said hello to everyone before the ceremony then sat at the front together. We didn't do speeches from anyone. I only stood up and said "champagne and cake time, thanks for coming!" And we certainly didn't have a first dance, it's just too cringe making because neither of us can dance and the music we like really isn't the traditional soppy first dance music. The idea of shaking hands with everyone in a line makes me shudder. And we had no high table, partly because I like the idea of talking to my guest without having to lean around, so a round table is much more comfortable, and partly I find the traditional Last Supper high table really weird.

sonyaya Fri 13-Jan-17 10:48:54

My wedding is in May and I sympathise - I am frantically trying to drop a few pounds to boost my confidence.

You will look stunning. The pressure on women to look amazing on their wedding day is shite, but I've never seen a bride and thought she looked anything other than spectacular, even if I didn't like the choice of dress/hair etc.

Have you chosen your dress? What style? If not get a heavily boned dress with structure, much more flattering than the flimsy backless ones which don't hold you in at all like I have stupidly gone for

FairyDogMother11 Fri 13-Jan-17 11:03:37

Toning is really hard work if you're not eating right. I lost 3.5st in less than 6maths on Slimming World and then joined the gym. The visible results were fast. I'd been in the gym trying to lose my stomach for months before I joined and never got anywhere. I'm not suggesting you need to diet or whatever, but if you're not happy there's still time to make changes so you feel amazing, regardless of whether that's changing your mindset about how you look or whether you decide to try something new. Don't let this put a dampener on your day smile

FairyDogMother11 Fri 13-Jan-17 11:07:19

Pushed send too soon! And as someone mentioned up thread you've had major surgery on your stomach, everyone would struggle with that part. There are some great articles on the effects a C-section has on the stomach muscles and that might put your mind at rest. Don't worry too much about that, just pick some really lovely underwear that make you feel greatflowers

MitchellMummy Fri 13-Jan-17 11:11:19

I decided before my recent wedding that I wouldn't worry about weight loss. Then I thought I'd go on a bit of a health kick. I cut down on sweet stuff and increased veg. Bit ashamed that I dropped over half a stone (shows how much crap I eat normally). One of the main things I did was reduce carbs in the evening (but still ate them during the day). Your weight sounds about the same as mine was, so not really big. I'm sure people will be pleased just to be there celebrating with you. Hope you enjoy your day.

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