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to feel that Dad acts like he's not bothered - even though I know he probably is.

(1 Post)
DarkLightMamma Thu 12-Jan-17 22:54:55

I know the answer a lot of people will give is that I am being unreasonable and that at least the Dad visits and pays maintenance, but I just need outsiders views, constructive views, not rude unnecessary views.

My daughter is 9 weeks tomorrow and her dad sees her once a week for about 2 hours at mine. He has put a standing order in to send me money each week so I can't fault that. When he's with her he's really good with her so I can't fault that...but last week I asked him to perhaps send me a message once a week asking about her because 1, I'm worried he'll miss out and 2, I'm worried she'll miss out.

He isn't reliable on the days he's coming, claiming he's been ill and therefore we've had to rearrange a few times which has meant I've had to move my commitments around in order for him to see her.

I sent him a message last week because his response to me asking him to ask about her maybe once a week outside of his visiting days bothered me, his reply was that not a lot was happening at the moment so there wasn't much point and that I could call him if there was any news. Now the background is that last year despite him saying he wanted to be involved in the pregnancy and the baby he didn't contact me without my contacting him first, and didn't contact me on the due date or afterwards until I messaged him, so I said I had decided that I wouldn't initiate contact anymore, if he was interested then he could contact me.

Today I asked him if he understood my message from last week and he accused me of trying to change him and said that there were no changes and that he wasn't going to spend every morning and night worrying he was going to offend me if he didn't send a message about Evie. I explained it wasn't that I was offended, it was that he said he wanted to be involved but didn't ask about her outside his visit, which I totted up the hours, he's seen her less than 24 hours in total since she was born 9 weeks ago.

I know he cares about her but I'm worried that he'll hurt her with his attitude of 'nothing's happening so I don't need to be in contact'. She changes every day and grows every day, he got excited last week because she was following him around the room, but I explained to him she's been doing that for at least a month...he's missing out on her life and I just want to tell him to be the involved father he claimed to want to be or get out of her life, but I don't want to be the villain who stops her from seeing her father. I'm at a loss and desperately need advice.

I've probably missed some information but I'll explain to any comments I get xx

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