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Exh sending pics of him and girlfriend and DH

(72 Posts)
fannyfanackapan Thu 12-Jan-17 21:26:46

I think IANBU and he only sent them to make a point but happy to be told otherwise.

On holiday when DS birthday this week. Spoke to him about it long before booking, no issues for him, gets money for birthday and apparently going out with mates as reaching 18, didn't want party or fuss, not his style.

Anyway, on said Birthday get two picture messages from exh showing him, his current girlfriend and both DS. No concern from me that he has taken them out for DS2 birthday, but why include him and his girlfriend? Does he want me to react? Is he trying for a guilt trip that I wasn't there?

Needless to say I haven't responded and I wish I could block him but DS1 has mental health issues which we need to correspond on.

Sorry, rant over!!

dollydaydream114 Thu 12-Jan-17 21:34:18

I think you're massively overreacting to being sent a picture of your son on his birthday. Who cares if your ex and his girlfriend were in the picture? Stop being jealous and move on. You're not 12.

bestcatintheworld Thu 12-Jan-17 21:34:57

Think you're overreacting. It's just a picture of them all out together.

ChasedByBees Thu 12-Jan-17 21:36:37

He may just have been being nice?

Ilovecaindingle Thu 12-Jan-17 21:37:02

As hard as it is try and be glad for your ds that his df having a gf ob hasn't affected their relationship it seems-

fannyfanackapan Thu 12-Jan-17 21:37:04

Dolly, I'm not jealous at all believe me, it's more that the includes himself and girlfriend and on DS1 birthday. Im glad his plans changed and he didn't get pissed down the pub with his mates.

If I had done the same when I took him on holiday with my DH, would it not have been the same as in - look at me and 'my' family??

PigletWasPoohsFriend Thu 12-Jan-17 21:38:32

Sorry but I think you are over reacting.

ZouBisou Thu 12-Jan-17 21:41:08

Have you sent photos of your DC to each other in the past?

PaulAnkaTheDog Thu 12-Jan-17 21:42:15

Yabu and massively overreacting.

Ginkypig Thu 12-Jan-17 21:42:27

Unless there is loads you've left unsaid so we're not getting the full picture then I kindly think yabu

It sounds as simple as he sent you a pic that was taken of your kids on your ds's birthday they happened to also be in the picture but that's not why you were sent it.

tava63 Thu 12-Jan-17 21:43:34

YANBU a photo like that would upset most people imho

Figure17a Thu 12-Jan-17 21:44:41

If pictures were taken when out with them to celebrate his birthday, it would be odder to leave them out imo

JudasInTheTescoVan Thu 12-Jan-17 21:45:41

Why would a picture like that upset most people? I think most people when they split up but have children move on and don't really care about their exDPs current partner.

gettingtherequickly Thu 12-Jan-17 21:47:48

So your ex sent you pictures of your DS on his birthday. With everyone who was there?

I think you're reading too much into it. Plus if it was meant to wind you up, you've already checked with DS that he was fine with you going on holiday on his birthday, so no problem there.

dollydaydream114 Thu 12-Jan-17 21:51:51

it's more that the includes himself and girlfriend and on DS1 birthday

What's wrong with that? They took your son out for his birthday, which was nice of them. Who cares if they're in the photo? Just be pleased your son had a nice time.

I honestly think you're overthinking this and being petty. For the sake of your son, you need to get over this and stop letting tiny things get to you.

Bluntness100 Thu 12-Jan-17 21:51:59

I don't understand, you are married again, why are you so bothered hour ex had a girlfriend and she was there?

dollydaydream114 Thu 12-Jan-17 21:52:31

If I had done the same when I took him on holiday with my DH, would it not have been the same as in - look at me and 'my' family??

It would have been perfectly fine and normal.

CasperGutman Thu 12-Jan-17 21:56:05

YABU, as everyone has said above.

Unless there's more to this than you're telling us, I doubt your ex has analysed the whole situation and decided you'll want a photo of those four people. Probably a waiter offered to take a snap of the group and then he's sent you a copy so you can see your son's having a nice birthday. Maybe your son even gave him the idea - "why don't you send that to Mum?" etc.

Figure17a Thu 12-Jan-17 21:56:43

I think you're feeling guilty and looking for something that isn't there. If you'd taken pictures of your current family on holiday tgat would be perfectly fine and normal

Youve obviously been apart for a while and moved on, as you've remarried, this is a weird reaction on your part imo

CasperGutman Thu 12-Jan-17 21:58:37

It would be weird for him to expect you to frame a photo of the four of them and put it on the wall, but a quick in-the-moment snap like you might post on social media is not worth over-thinking like this!

puglife15 Thu 12-Jan-17 22:02:13

I agree with others, YABU, it would be weirder for them to exclude the girlfriend and take a pic of everyone else there except her would it not?

Olympiathequeen Thu 12-Jan-17 22:02:44

Sorry, but he has a new gf and they are all part of the family so he can post pics.

Lovewineandchocs Thu 12-Jan-17 22:04:23

Did you reply to him?

Lelloteddy Thu 12-Jan-17 22:06:29

YANBU. It sounds as if you don't have a great relationship and he's done it to annoy you. You're human, so his game has worked.

Post it on social media and let your mates see how much he's traded down wink

Lovewineandchocs Thu 12-Jan-17 22:06:45

Sorry, saw that you haven't. You have no way of knowing what he intended-I'd have replied "Lovely pics, thanks for sending." If he is trying to make a point, that would annoy him. If not, it's just a polite response.

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