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to ask how many of you charge your 18 yo to live at home?

(79 Posts)
Mousees Thu 12-Jan-17 15:10:21

DH and I can't agree.

Idefix Thu 12-Jan-17 16:15:09

No, if in full-time education. If working it would depend on income and our own financial circumstances. But generally I would probably reinvest the money into dc via driving lessons, saving account.

MrsHughesCarson Thu 12-Jan-17 16:20:37

I can't imagine charging any of my children no matter what their age to live in their family home. Unless maybe, they had really well paid full time jobs.

sonlypuppyfat Thu 12-Jan-17 16:26:00

DS is 17 he has got a part time job and goes to college. We are paying for his driving lessons, but we have had to start charging him a tenner a week. He's started weight training , we pay for the gym, but what he eats is unreal . He has 6 meals a day I spend a fortune on eggs and tuna never mind the bananas he gets through

Ragwort Thu 12-Jan-17 16:27:37

Need a lot more details - is your DC working? Are you struggling financially? Do you expect your DC to save for the future- ie: save for a car/house deposit etc?

If my 18 year old child was earning a decent salary (ie: not just an apprenticeship wage) then I would expect a (smallish) contribution towards 'board and lodging' as I think it is good for teenagers/young adults to know that there is a cost involved to running a household. I might secretly save the money for the their future.

But if my DC was still in full time education or just coming home for vacations then I wouldn't expect anything.

DJBaggySmalls Thu 12-Jan-17 16:32:16

If you are losing housing and council tax benefit its normal to ask them to pay that, and chip in for bills if they can.
Its all very well people saying they cant imagine charging their kids, but not everyone can afford to house them past 18.

Some people ask them to pay but put some or all of it into a savings account for them later. I think thats a good habit to get into.

I would charge DS1 (18) a percentage of his earnings if he had a full time job, but as he's currently a student he gets a free ride grin. I gave my parents 1/4 of my take home pay when I worked and lived at home, which is far less than I paid in bills and rent when I actually moved out.

Potnoodlewilld0 Thu 12-Jan-17 16:36:04

Yep. We charged dd at 18 years.

She didn't want to go to uni and wanted to work. So she contributed to the house hold like all the other working adults. £100 a month.

It was a while ago before we owned our buisnsness so the extra income was welcome. It also helped her budget and not take the house/us for granted. She has bought her own apartment now.

We have two younger DC and are in a very different financial situation where we don't need the money and I know it will become a problem as Dh won't want them contribute to the house hold where as I will.

My point is we are supposed to be nurturing children to be responsible adults not adult babies that get pampered and refuse to fly the nest

NickyEds Thu 12-Jan-17 16:38:38

My nephew will finish school this year and wants to work for a year before uni. My sister is going to charge him a third of his take home pay. I think that's fair. He was outraged until he looked at the cost of moving out.

pinkie1982 Thu 12-Jan-17 16:40:31

I left when I was 16 (that was the rule - leave school, get a job and move out), but I did return at 18 and paid £100 per month - this was when I was working and bringing home £400 per month on an apprenticeship, a few years ago now. The money went into the house - bills/food

cherrycrumblecustard Thu 12-Jan-17 16:41:57

If you NEED the contribution they will make, that's one thing.

Charging them for the sake of it - to teach them a lesson, or to encourage them to move out - no, definitely not.

Chottie Thu 12-Jan-17 16:43:08

No way, ever......

SteppingOnToes Thu 12-Jan-17 16:43:32

My parents 'charged' me 20% of my income for board. I think it teaches children a sense of financial responsibility and then it less of a shock when they leave home and are suddenly faced with the reality of the cost of life.

I sometimes wonder whether parents dont charge to infantilise their children and keep them dependent on them longer - after all what child is going to want to leave home if they can blow every penny of their take home pay.

The money my mum took from me she gave me back when I bought a house to reduce my deposit - it was a huge surprise and was more than I had managed to save myself. I guess she had a point...

amusedbush Thu 12-Jan-17 16:43:55

When I left school at 17 and was earning £800 a month my mum would take £100 a month from me. She put it up slightly every year but when she demanded that it go from £150 to £200, I told her to do one and I moved into a flatshare the week after my 21st birthday.

I was paying £100 a month more than she wanted and it was worth every penny to be away from her nagging grin

SteppingOnToes Thu 12-Jan-17 16:44:30

ETA - I paid £100 a month in 1998. The going rate is still £100 a month?!

amusedbush Thu 12-Jan-17 16:46:06

SteppingOnToes

I was 17 in 2007, moved out in 2011.

Ragwort Thu 12-Jan-17 16:46:31

Chottie - out of interest, why not?

DramaAlpaca Thu 12-Jan-17 16:46:38

I wouldn't charge mine anything while they are in full time education, so my 21 year old & 19 year old who are students don't pay anything.

Once they are working, I do expect them to contribute to the household, even though I don't particularly need the money it's good discipline for them.

DS1, who's 23 and working full time, gives me a weekly contribution by standing order into my bank account. It's a lot less than he'd pay if he was renting and allows him to save. We are both happy with the amount.

Duckyneedsaclean Thu 12-Jan-17 16:46:55

I didn't go to uni at 18, and got a job instead. I paid £400 a month rent & housekeeping. This was 10 years ago.

Mind you, my parents rented the house, were OAPs on income support & with a working adult in the house got their benefits reduced. So I had to make up the shortfall.

When I went to uni 2 years later I didn't have to pay anything.

Ledkr Thu 12-Jan-17 16:46:57

I'm surprised at how many of you have said "no way"
All mine paid some rent when they were earning after education was over.
I did need it as I was a lone parent and staying in a big house which I'd have otherwise sold but I think even if I'd been rich I'd have charged a token amount to promote independence!

cherrycrumblecustard Thu 12-Jan-17 16:48:22

Independence comes far faster when they move out ...

SheldonCRules Thu 12-Jan-17 16:53:36

No, I'd not charge either. Whilst they are under our roof it's our job to provide and they will always have a home with us.

Paying board doesn't make them move out faster or better at budgeting, it just suits the parent to have an income from their child.

sonlypuppyfat Thu 12-Jan-17 16:58:37

Surely you are not getting an income from your child, my DS would have to go out and buy the extra food he eats he just gives me the money to buy his food

AnyFucker Thu 12-Jan-17 17:01:32

Yes, once my dd was working FT at 18 we charged her a nominal rent

happypoobum Thu 12-Jan-17 17:15:04

If they are working FT then yes. Usual rate is a third I believe.

Obviously if you don't need it you might not bother. If you have just lost tax credits/maintenance/CB and need the shortfall then YANBU.

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