Hi all, this is my first post. Longtime lurker.
I've been with my DP for 13 months. He lives up north about 250 miles away and we see each other for two or three days about twice a month. Either at his or mine. I have children and he doesn't. I love him very much and it's reciprocal. Our plan is for him to move here and he is job searching. He has also said on numerous occasions that he wants to marry me. He's a decade older than me. He earns a significantly higher salary. He owns his home and I rent. I don't want to move to him as it would drastically reduce my DC's contact with their father, with whom we all have a good relationship.
So, the AIBU. In the short term it is that he has told me this week that he wants to go away for a week, on his own, at Easter for some peace and relaxation. In the long term it is that when he moves here he wants to have his own place even if we marry. That is he has said he will always need his own space. He is adamant that this is not because of the children, but because he would need to step into his ordered life from time to time, for space.
I genuinely don't know if this is unreasonable. It feels...unusual? Odd? And also sort of disconnected. I can't afford to pay for a holiday, at least not equitably. In practical terms I also can't afford to continue paying my rent if we marry, as I will lose tax credits and housing benefit. I work btw. And it just feels "off" to be renting out his house, while we rent one each. It's not exactly the happy ever after...
I'd really welcome opinions. Thanks.
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AIBU?
Is it unreasonable for a DP to need separate holidays and home?
174 replies
user1471551792 · 12/01/2017 11:43
OP posts:
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