Ok, it's taken a lot for me to write this so be gentle. And sorry for the long post.
I have a 3mo DS and I couldn't love him any more than I already do but I am struggling.
For the last few weeks I can't stop crying and shouting when it comes to DP. I'm also anxious of bad things happening to me or DS. And I just can't stand DP lately, everything he says just pushes me over the edge. I hit a new low this morning when DP and I took DS for his injections and I sat in the waiting room in tears because DP did something silly (it did not really warrant my response though and public displays are not my thing so I feel silly now).
I can barely look at him and that's why I think I need some perspective.
It's got to the point that I have booked an apt to see my gp. But here's the thing. It took a lot for me to finally tell DP how I am feeling and he just brushed it off and I felt ridiculous for even bringing it up. He said "how could you POSSIBLY be depressed when you've got a beautiful baby?!" Which made me feel like a horrible ungrateful mother.
So I just shut myself in the bedroom and cried. He came in five mins later and said "oh I'll just do all the tidying shall I?" And walked out.
Am I being ridiculous or was he out of order?
AIBU?
AIBU to think DP is being a dick
HitMeWithYourRythymStick · 12/01/2017 11:20
Sorry clciked post too soon.
You are not a horrible ungrateful mother your DP sounds horrible and ungrateful though I think there's a PND section to Talk which may help, there's certainly a mental health one which is very supportive 
Of course he was out of order - totally.
It sounds to me like you most certainly are depressed and anxious and you have absolutely done the right thing in making a Dr appt.
The most beautiful baby bit is irrelevant in that it's your hormones that are skewed! And your body just needs some help getting back on an even keel. Your DH obviously needs educating on PND. Your Dr should be able to offer advice on that question too.
Have some . Well done for recognising the problem and acting on it.
can't understand why posters are berating dp , he's not being horrible intentionally, but like a lot of people who have never had depression he doesn't understand what it's like, you have a new baby but that isn't going to make you feel better any more than all the money in the world when you are depressed. nothing but nothing means anything, it's a struggle to even think at times, get dressed, washed etc. nothing gives you joy, it is all a struggle. "pull yourself together" seems to be a favourite, well if you could do that you wouldn't choose to feel miserable would you ?
it's good you are seeing your gp and are taking advice, perhaps dh could go along and listen so he gets a prospective on things.
he'd probably shocked and upset if he really knew what was going on in your head. i personally would not wish it on anyone, i have rapid cycling bipolar so live along side highs and lows all the time.
hope you get the help you need soon and start to feel in a better place in the near future
I'm sorry, that's horrible. I too had exactly the same situation with 'D'P. I had prenatal depression after breaking my leg, and I was constantly told by him I was being 'ridiculous' and 'everyone has shit to deal with' I went on anti depressants and they did help however, they also made me realise that it was him who was worsening my depression.
Is your partner understanding? If he is maybe gently point him in the direction of advice on dealing with OH depression or some research on PND. He might just not understand completely or think that now baby is 3 months old you've missed the PND boat.
Definitely talk to your GP about it; they see so many people in the same boat don't feel ashamed. I sat in my GP's room for 2 hours crying hysterically whilst he made me continuous cups of tea and popped out to see other patients in a different room!
If your partner continues to fail to support you in such a difficult time, you need to sit down and have a think about your relationship.
You cant look at him because he is being arrogant and unloving. Your GP or HV needs to give him a sharp talking to. Your hormones are all over the place and you cant just ignore it.
You sound like you have PND, I hope your GP is supportive?
"He is generally understanding but when it comes to feelings and mental health he just doesn't seem to get it"
My dear, this statement makes no sense. Someone cannot be 'generally understanding' if they are one sardine short of a can when it comes to anything connected with 'feelings'. It sounds to me like what you are really saying is that "when life is good, he behaves well, but he doesn't have the first clue how to be caring when the chips are down". Which is very different indeed.
Depression is an illness. You wouldn't say to someone "Oh, but you have a million pounds, so you can't possibly have a cold". It would make no sense. Equally, just because you have a wonderful baby whom you love to bits doesn't mean that you can't be depressed. Someone who doesn't understand that has an emotional intelligence roughly comparable to that of a teaspoon. 
Your DP sounds like he's really not being emotionally supportive to you as you go through a rough patch. And you're entitled to that support - it's what he's there to provide.
As PPs have said, get yourself to the GP and get some medical advice and help. And get yourself some headspace that is away from him, with people who are supportive, whether that's in mum and baby groups or with friends or elsewhere. I would also tell your friends and family what's going on so that you have their help also.
for you.
I had terrible anxiety after ds. I was ROTTEN to dh.
I look back now and see how hard it must have been for him. He only snapped a couple of times and I nearly ltb for it at the time but now I see how awful it must have been for him living with my mood swings. And it was all about me and baby, I never gave him a second thought.
It was an horrible thing to say to you of course but loving with depression and anxiety takes its toll on someone.
to both of you. Get help. Now.
Yep, my FIL also asked dh what I had to be depressed about 
. Both are pricks.
Even people with seemingly perfect life's and no worries can get depression. It's a chemical in balance in your brain and nothing you've done or not done.
Be honest with your GP and they can help you. Ask for some literature to give your husband. Make him read it. And nip his snotty comments in the bud right now.
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