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Aibu to cancel the date

(29 Posts)
Peanutandphoenix Thu 12-Jan-17 05:37:28

I was speaking to this fella last night he asked 4 times for my number I told him no each time he asked said the more he asked more likely he was to not get it he asked me on a date and suggested meeting up and going to his I told him no and he asked me why what 35 year old man thinks it's OK to ask someone back to theirs on a first date he then asked after a few dates would we have sex and asked me how big my boobs are I basically told him to jog on and to change the way he speaks to women because it might work with someone who has the morals of an alley cat but it won't work with me he just sounded like a right perv and made me feel really uncomfortable. I felt a bit bad about cancelling the date but I didn't feel safe about meeting up with him and I blocked him. He did apologies but was I being a bit too hasty.

MinnowAndTheBear Thu 12-Jan-17 05:43:15

You did exactly the right think. Please have more confidence in your own judgement of this creep.

MinnowAndTheBear Thu 12-Jan-17 05:43:33

thing, even.

seven201 Thu 12-Jan-17 05:49:16

You went on a few dates with this man despite all your reservations? That's time you'll never get back sadly. I suppose it's good to give people a chance to prove themselves, this one proved himself to be a nobber.

Peanutandphoenix Thu 12-Jan-17 05:50:05

Thank you minnow I thought I had but I wasn't sure if I was just being a bitch am just very picky now because I've been hurt so many times in the past.

Peanutandphoenix Thu 12-Jan-17 05:51:54

No seven I haven't been on a date with him yet he proved himself to be knob head before we even went on a date.

9GreenBottles Thu 12-Jan-17 06:29:54

If I were in your circumstances, I would have cancelled. When OLD, I got fed up with pervy comments (even though I have a feeling a lot of men simply don't know how to express themselves with women online) and wouldn't continue any conversation that headed in that direction after I'd said I didn't appreciate it from somebody I'd not met.

I don't think you were hasty, I think you reacted to being pushed on something you were uncomfortable about - and what might he have been like if he couldn't be respectful of you saying no before you had even met?

ihatethecold Thu 12-Jan-17 06:33:05

He sounds rank.
It sounds like he views you as an object.
You're well rid. Trust your instincts op.

Peanutandphoenix Thu 12-Jan-17 06:38:10

Thank you 9greenbottles I do normally shut them down once they start with the pervy comments because I just get so sick of being spoken to like a piece of meat just because I'm doing online dating. Exactly he had just pushed too far and I wasn't having any of it anymore that's what made me cancell the date because he just sounded like a potential rapist.

Peanutandphoenix Thu 12-Jan-17 06:40:38

Thank you ihatethecold I think he did just view me as some kind of object am glad I'm not going on a date with him I really don't fancy ending up dead. He actually thought we would have a relationship er no love.

ConvincingLiar Thu 12-Jan-17 07:00:12

I'm not sure he sounds like a rapist/murderer, but he certainly sounds like a creep. No way I'd go out with him. Lucky escape.

picklemepopcorn Thu 12-Jan-17 07:03:35

Well spotted peanut. You've saved yourself a night fending off his coercive attempts to sexually assault you. Don't doubt yourself, you don't need to actually kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince!

Peanutandphoenix Thu 12-Jan-17 08:06:09

convincingliar he's definitely a massive fucking creep am glad he showed his true colours before the date. Definitely had a lucky escape there.

Peanutandphoenix Thu 12-Jan-17 08:08:50

Thank you picklemepopcorn I know I really didn't want to be fending him off with a stick think I would rather spend my night sat in front of the TV lol. Thanks I'll try to stop doubting myself. Your right there you just have to wade through a few loosers but the right man for me is out there somewhere I'll find him eventually.

CaoNiMa Thu 12-Jan-17 08:11:01

There's absolutely nowt wrong with being picky OP. Be even pickier! There are some right knobmonkeys out there.

Loaferloveforyou Thu 12-Jan-17 08:20:08

I would have done the same thing. What a creep!

Ladyformation Thu 12-Jan-17 08:25:14

I think you've done the right thing and he sounds like a creep.

I am extremely hmm at "someone with the morals of an alley cat" though.

PurpleMinionMummy Thu 12-Jan-17 10:15:56

Sounds like he's after a quick shag and not much else.

DailyFail1 Thu 12-Jan-17 10:19:12

It is becoming more and more the norm for people to use online dating to hook up. He still shouldn't have pestered you - sounds like he's desperate.

Aeroflotgirl Thu 12-Jan-17 10:20:38

Wow what a prick, no you so did the right thing, he sounds like a total perv. Why feel guilty, he is in the wrong and his behaviour was totally unacceptable.

SparkleShinyGlitter Thu 12-Jan-17 10:25:40

Of course it's not unreasonable to cancel or not go on a date with any one you don't want to

I also think it's a bit unfair to say he sounded like a potential rapist, yes that is a small possibility buy He just sounds like a man after sex only I'm not sure how that equals rapist

However using the phrase someone who has the morals of an alley cat to describe women that like a shag now and then is unreasonable! It's 2017 and women can like a no strings shag- imagine that

Reality16 Thu 12-Jan-17 10:26:25

Why were you speaking to him?

MummyToThree479 Thu 12-Jan-17 10:30:00

Yabu for using "The morals of an alley cat" hmm it's not 1950 women are allowed to like sex and have a no strings shag if they fancy and it doesn't mean they have no morals ffs!

I think your also slightly unreasonable for saying his a potential rapist, yes that is a tiny possibility BUT many people have causal sex everyday and not all men are rapists. Some men just want sex nothing more and that does not equal rapist

YANBU however to cancel a date or not go on a date with anyone you don't what

Peanutandphoenix Thu 12-Jan-17 16:21:41

I was speaking to him because we had matched on the website I was using but after speaking to him I very quickly changed my mind about him. Thank you everyone for saying that I wasn't in the wrong and tbh he jist come across sounding like he was possinky going rspe ne or someone else you don't know he may not of though.Think I should just get even more picky and just speak to loads at the same time until I find one who talks in a nice way to me. For all those who disagree with morals of an alley cat well sorry but that's my opinion and thats what I personally think of men and women who just sleep around you have zero self respect if you do that and your opening yourself up to all manner of nasties as my mum says the best thing you can catch is a baby. Am sorry if I have self respect and am looking for someone for life not for tonight. I just think some men could do with a lesson in how to speak to women online.

Reality16 Thu 12-Jan-17 16:37:35

I was speaking to him because we had matched on the website I was using but after speaking to him I very quickly changed my mind about him surely you just delete/block or something then?

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