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AIBU to ask how you deal with playground cliques!

(336 Posts)
Onthedowns Wed 11-Jan-17 21:55:17

My DD just started reception last year was warned about certain playground mums but ignored it however! There are three mums with younger children who seem to be glued together all the time before school, after school, parties they don't speak to anyone esle or make the effort. One if them I find particularly rude I have stood aside for her to pass and she hasn't acknowledged me just looked straight past me, they never smile say hello or intergrate. She ignored my DD chasing after and calling her son on the way home once too, if I hear someone calling my DD I make sure she at least acknowledges Them, considering my DD was running right beside her she couldn't miss her! I don't speak to every mum either but make an effort to smile and say hello to the ones I see regularly. I know not everyone will get on etc but considering our children are in the same class for the next however many years I find it strange you don't acknowledge people you see every day! It's my dds bday soon and I will be inviting whole class but these mums I don't feel I want too - but of course I will as it's not their children. so how you experienced mumsnetters battle through the minefield of playground politics!

BusyBeez99 Wed 11-Jan-17 21:56:46

I always think that the only think I have in common with the playground mums is that we gave birth in the same 12 month period......

Year 6 here and it's still the same.

HateSummer Wed 11-Jan-17 21:57:46

Ignore, ignore, ignore. Don't give them headspace, detach, do your own thing, make your own friends and ignore. smile.

SharkSkinThing Wed 11-Jan-17 21:58:47

Try not to take it personally!

You have many years of playground politics ahead - for your own sanity, smile away but do your own thing. 🌞

bumsexatthebingo Wed 11-Jan-17 22:00:28

It wouldn't bother me tbh. If they're not friendly I'd just chat to someone else.

dayswithaY Wed 11-Jan-17 22:01:06

Smile, be pleasant, don't try to understand their behaviour, let them get on with it. If you are relaxed and friendly to all then people will gravitate towards you and you will end up with some nice friends. Before you know it they're at senior school and you'll wonder what you were worrying about.

BarbarianMum Wed 11-Jan-17 22:05:17

I don't notice them - lots of other parents to talk to.

PerpendicularVincent Wed 11-Jan-17 22:13:24

Ignore it, there are plenty of other places to find nice people who would want to be friends.

Busy summed it up perfectly.

MrsDustyBusty Wed 11-Jan-17 22:14:42

Why do you care if a group of women are friends?

Basicbrown Wed 11-Jan-17 22:16:00

I don't stand for rudeness though. Ignoring/ not acknowledging is pig ignorant. Fix a big smile and say cheerily 'hi Gail, hi Carol' every time you see them, pretending you haven't noticed they are twats. Before obviously finding someone more interesting to talk to. It's a victory when people like that realise that you are utterly uncontrollable and give up.

Gatehouse77 Wed 11-Jan-17 22:17:09

Ignore them but be civil if warranted.
It's their loss not yours. I'm glad I'm not part of any particular group - I can't be bothered with all the bloody drama.

MrsDustyBusty Wed 11-Jan-17 22:17:43

Why do you need to believe they're conspiring to control you?

Magzmarsh Wed 11-Jan-17 22:21:57

They're doing their own thing and have no interest in you. This happens in all aspects of life, not just the playground. Focus on your own life and let them get on with it.

NavyandWhite Wed 11-Jan-17 22:22:18

I think you're overthinking this. Sounds like they're friends and are a bit oblivious to the other mums.

Don't take it personally just be pleasant and try and talk to other mums. It's very early days and I'm convinced that over the years at school with these women your view will change about them.

Basicbrown Wed 11-Jan-17 22:25:45

Why do you need to believe they're conspiring to control you?

Hahaha well it's not personal to me. The point is that one person can be rude if they like, but you can't stop the other person being polite and friendly. Why would you ignore them back and sink to their level?

Jayfee Wed 11-Jan-17 22:27:12

you sound nice...they dont

Yoarchie Wed 11-Jan-17 22:27:59

Perhaps the three that are friends just cling to each other rather than talking to others. Perhaps they are not confident.

In any case it's all best ignored. You don't need them and it won't impact your child's friendships.

MrsDustyBusty Wed 11-Jan-17 22:28:02

Why would you ignore them back and sink to their level?

Well I didn't saying would but I just can't imagine an existence where I'd dream up a strategy to prove to some strangers that I'm immune to their chicanery.

Basicbrown Wed 11-Jan-17 22:29:06

They aren't strangers are they? You have to see them possibly every day if you are a SAHM.

SeaEagleFeather Wed 11-Jan-17 22:30:33

there's only 3 of them. Must be lots of other mums! So they stand out as standoffish and rude, maybe in comparison with the others, but they just aren't that important. 'Don't exclude their children from invites, smile and be civil to the poor kids' mums and don't sweat about their lack of manners.

Kinda odd to be so bound up in each other that you can't look or talk to anyone else, really.

MrsDustyBusty Wed 11-Jan-17 22:31:25

I'd still consider them strangers, really. They just happen to go to the same place. I also think of the people who get the same bus as me in the mornings as strangers. Certainly I'm not thinking about them and whether they ever think about me.

Magzmarsh Wed 11-Jan-17 22:32:25

I see the same people on the bus to work every morning, they're strangers and hopefully I'll never be expected to engage with them just because we share that space for 30 minutes every day.

witsender Wed 11-Jan-17 22:32:44

They're just people. They might be arses even if they weren't mums and in the playground. And there is no obligation to be friends.

80schild Wed 11-Jan-17 22:34:18

Let it go, as the song goes. Venting on here will make you feel better (I have done it myself at times) and get on enjoying your life.

SallyGinnamon Wed 11-Jan-17 22:35:41

Good point magz

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