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AIBU to expect him to share responsibility

(8 Posts)
Mozartinmyfanjo Wed 11-Jan-17 21:00:11

Childcare issues this week and possibly next, meaning DP and l have to manage between ourselves DS pick ups from the nursery. We both work full time, no family , friends who could help out. We have agreed over the weekend he will do pick up on Mon and Thurs and l do other days.

So far l did every single day this week, meaning l had to wake up earlier to get to work earlier than usual and also login later after DS went to bed and try to make up hours.

This evening DP turns home at 8 pm, after stop over at the pub after work and asks what time l will be home tomorrow, l say same as usual, which is 6-ish. He started to roll eyes and mutter 'I can't sit with him from 3-6, l need to work'. To which l replied 'so do l'. He stormed out of the room.

Now, next week he goes away on business trip, so l will have to do the whole week of pick ups and drop offs.

AIBU to expect him to take some responsibility and be a parent to? Or because he is a higher earner l should suck it up and sacrifice my work.

BoomBoomsCousin Wed 11-Jan-17 21:28:34

You are obviously NBU. And he is being a dick. Every time you pick up more of the responsibility than him you are transferring wealth in the form of earning potential into his hands. Which leaves you in a weaker financial position as an individual and Entrenches the position further. Which is fine(ish) if you want to do it, but not something he has any right to expect of you.

BreakfastAtSquiffanys Wed 11-Jan-17 21:31:48

So basically he's complaining about doing one day - tomorrow - out of the two weeks you are short of childcare?

Mozartinmyfanjo Wed 11-Jan-17 21:42:35

Correct, even though he agreed to do 2 days this week and 2 next, but now he goes on a business trip, announced yesterday. So annoyed and upset my job is considered less important sad

BoomBoomsCousin Thu 12-Jan-17 05:22:36

His attitude sucks OP. Can you start investigating the possibility of adhoc paid care so you can share the cost of this work between you (by taking funds from joint money, rather than it all being you hurting your earning power)?

AyeAmarok Thu 12-Jan-17 05:34:26

If you constantly step in to sort out "his days" and do it for him (when he's here, appreciate you have to if he's away) then you're reinforcing his idea that your job is sorting DS and you are flexible so you can accommodate him. Then he'll never take responsibility.

MLGs Thu 12-Jan-17 08:48:07

He is being shit OP. Depressingly common it seems, not least from on mn.

aye is probably right with her strategy of not stepping in, but it doesn't make you in the wrong for having done it. He is wrong for putting you in that position

Unless there's some backstory where you have rejected other reasonable options that he suggested yadnbu.

expatinscotland Thu 12-Jan-17 08:53:10

Stop stepping in for him.

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