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To ask about your toilet/potty training experiences

(34 Posts)
peeinthepotty Wed 11-Jan-17 20:34:29

Started to train my DS 2.6 a few days ago and he got it on the second day but now it's gone to pot.

How do I get him trained? Someone please help me/give me advice!

user892 Wed 11-Jan-17 20:38:56

Oh god I dunno. Ours refused potty training and was over 3yrs before she started listening to me about how pants were cool and pull-ups were annoying. She went cold turkey and had a few mishaps but seemed to do it in a day or so and preferred the look with her special seat.

user892 Wed 11-Jan-17 20:39:27

Sorry I can't remember more detail! Good luck x

user892 Wed 11-Jan-17 20:40:18

*loo, not look

Beth2511 Wed 11-Jan-17 20:40:55

we are struggling too. dd will not have a single accident if there is a potty in sight which is fab for home, but she is barely talking and currently cant tell us she needs to go so we cant progress further. dont know what to do next

CatsCantFlyFast Wed 11-Jan-17 20:41:16

Keep going imo. Consistency and calm were my two words for a week. We had lots of successes and lots of accidents before it clicked

CaveMum Wed 11-Jan-17 20:43:37

I'm interested to see what people say too!

DD is 2.10, we started potty training in November and after a few false starts she seemed to get it and was dry for almost 2 weeks. Then suddenly out of the blue she blew a gasket and refused to have anything to do with the potty or pants - full on hysterical sobbing, throwing herself on the floor to avoid sitting on it, real genuine distress.

We backed off as she has also had constipation issues in the past and was obviously withholding and giving herself horrible tummy aches resulting in her waking several times a night with bad wind. So she went back in nappies and for the last 3 weeks hasonly consented to put pants on for two days, the first of which was riven with accidents and the second only lasted half a day.

I know people will say I was wrong to put her back in nappies (the room leader at nursery told me I was wrong to give in and that "she had to learn she can't get her own way by crying", leaving me feeling like shit) but she is getting so utterly hysterical that it's distressing for both of us.

She's also frightened of toilets so we're working with nursery to gradually introduce the idea of using them, but right now she is adament that she is scared of them and won't contemplate going near them.

1000jobstodo Wed 11-Jan-17 21:28:35

Cavemum- I disagree with your nursery- By continuing when she was distressed, it would only cause a bigger problem. I had the same with my dd who was 2.3 so went back to nappies. Big battles, her throwing potty across the room, screaming and appearing scared to sit on it.
I sussed it though! -
I just left the potty everywhere. I also bought a princess polly potty book and bought toilet seat (to give option other than potty). I told dd all her friends were using the potty, but didn't comment on her using it. Just made it very casual and said potty was there when she was ready. I think because she read the book daily and realised her friends were using the potty, it became less of an issue and just something people did when they were ready. We carried on that way for 2 months, potty just left in her room. No mention of her using it. Then she marched up to me and demanded that she use it as nappies were for babies. I let her, and 3 days later she was trained. I'd tried twice to train her myself, but if they're not ready, it becomes a battle. I think leaving the decision to them (sort of), makes them think it's their idea, and then takes away the battle issue as you're both wanting to achieve the same result.

peeinthepotty Wed 11-Jan-17 21:31:10

I was worried to be honest that 2.6 was a bit late to start but I'm now realising that it's normal.

Do they just get it eventually? sad

Lalunya85 Wed 11-Jan-17 21:34:01

but now it's gone to pot. grin Ha, that made me laugh! Pun intended?

I suggest to wait for the summer. We tried potty training ds from around 2.6 or just before and he was kind of getting it but it was more trouble than it was worth (and was dragging on for too long). A long holiday in a hot country and an already potty trained cousin of a similar age did the trick in a matter of days. He hasn't really had any accidents since either.

But to be honest, I have no idea why he suddenly just got it. It wasn't anything we did. Follow you instinct on this one...

Jackiebrambles Wed 11-Jan-17 21:34:34

Oh definitely stop! It's not worth your stress at all. I waited til my ds was a month from 3. He was trained in three days. On day 4 he went to nursery and was accident free. When they are ready it is quick!

JeepersMcoy Wed 11-Jan-17 21:39:08

From talking to friends I think this is one of these areas where children are so different that there is really no hard and fast rule. You have to do what works for you and your child. That may be leaving it a bit and then coming back to it. I have noticed a huge variation in age for potty training just amongst the people I know. I think our approach may have been a bit unusual, but dd can be a bit unusual... grin

We really left it until we were sure dd was ready. We had a potty out for ages, just about the house so it was there and familiar. Also nursery had potties and encouraged her to use it if she wanted. I think it helped that she saw other children using the potty at nursery. But we didn't make it a big deal or put any pressure on her.

In the end we got to the point where she was choosing to use the potty at nursery and often at home, she was dry at night, but still wanted to have nappies on for comfort. At this point (I think she was just over 2.5yrs ) I told her that people only had a certain number of nappies they could have in their life and that the current packet was her last lot. When the packet was finished that was it. She went dry day and night with no real bother at all and minimal accidents. Her last happy was a very serious and solemn event.

xxxbingbunnyxxx Wed 11-Jan-17 21:40:51

We waited with ds until he was 3, several other kids in nursery group being trained at once so it was easy to watch and learn from others. But we didn't push, we rewarded and praised him but didn't make a big deal over accidents. We learned to not use pull ups as he needed to feel wet, and pull ups are really a nappy. So just had to get used to carrying plenty of clothes and pants around. He now is fully trained but it took in all 4 months for wee and poo! I know that may seem a long time, but it's only stressful if you make it that way.just relax and they will get it eventually! X

Soubriquet Wed 11-Jan-17 21:47:23

I did mine last summer. Dd was 3.4.

I got in some charts, some stickers and a potty.

Let her choose nice knickers and then we just went for it.

Let her run around naked as it was hot apart from the knickers.

First day was absolutely hell. Cleaning up wee so many times. I could've cried. Seriously doubting myself but I persisted.

Tuesday after that, the 2nd day, just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, it did.

Wednesday, we had loads of successes and the odd failure.

Thursday, done. No more accidents.

She had a sweet everytime she did a poo and a sticker every time she did a wee.

Once the sticker chart was full she got to pick a toy.

I had been putting it off so long because I was scared and it was surprisingly easier than I thought.

Hope Ds will be the same

littledinaco Wed 11-Jan-17 21:48:29

Cavemum I disagree with the nursery too. Think you did completely the right thing. Sometimes kids struggle to communicate the level of distress they feel and crying/screaming is all they can do. I think it's really cruel to force a distressed child out of nappies when it honestly doesnt matter. They don't have control over much and will all get out of nappies at some point. Well done for listening to your DD.

When they are older, it won't matter whether they were out of nappies at 18months/2.5/3.5 etc. When they want to do it and are ready, you don't have to train them, they just do it.

Helloitsme87 Wed 11-Jan-17 21:57:37

Tempted to tattoo MUG across your forehead..... 90k a year and you have £600 to pay all expenses.
My oh and I both work- he earns triple what I do (sometimes more) as I need to work around kids. All our money goes into joint. We pay ourselves £300 a month for pleasure purchases not petrol phone bill and kids stuff

Soubriquet Wed 11-Jan-17 22:01:09

Wrong thread Hello?

Cosmicglitterpug Wed 11-Jan-17 22:06:46

I left it until she was ready. We had potties around and had talked about it etc but I didn't ear mark a time to do it. She just started doing it when she was ready at 2.10.

CaveMum Wed 11-Jan-17 22:08:59

Thanks for the support 100jobs and littledinaco, you've both said what several of my friends have said. To be fair to the nursery, it is only the room leader who made that comment to me, the other workers have been very supportive of our decision and have been taking her on one-to-one visits to the loo just to reassure her and let her have a look around.

I think part of the problem has been so much going on in her life: I'm 6 months pregnant, the excitement of Christmas and moving up to the pre-school room at nursery might have just been too much for her to handle along with potty training.

RocketQueenP Wed 11-Jan-17 22:09:28

My older ones were almost 3 but with my youngest I did it last summer when DD was 2 years 2 months

It was easier cos it was warm so no layers, I would let her run around in just a dress / no pants, or t shirt and shorts that were easy for her to quickly pull down

The first day we just spent nearly the whole day in the garden so it didn't matter that she was weeing everywhere :D it just made her aware when she was weeing and cos I wasn't getting stressed about wet puddles in the house etc I was really chilled about it. She was fully trained within 3 days

This might be obvious as well but when out in her pram / car seat I would put an open nappy under her in case of any accidents.

So if you struggle at the moment maybe just wait til its warmer

RocketQueenP Wed 11-Jan-17 22:11:00

Also I know some posters wont agree but I think consistency is key too. I made my mind up once I told her she was coming out of nappies that she was not going back in them.

BarbarianMum Wed 11-Jan-17 22:15:52

We did it by bribary. Started with hourly trips to the potty to "make room" for a sweet (jelly tot). Then increased the gaps, then started letting them let me know when they had to go. Took about 2 weeks. There were accidents and years. I just kept going and pants only (pull ups only for bedtime).

Handy hints- protect the car seat, get a port-a-potty.

The worst bit was 6 months later when they got bored of it and kept having accidents.

BarbarianMum Wed 11-Jan-17 22:16:46

tears -it didn't take years just felt like it

SpookyPotato Wed 11-Jan-17 22:20:22

My DS is 2.9 and I haven't even thought about it yet! He's only just starting to speak and understand things. I agree though from hearing about other kids that it's best to wait until they're ready and they do it quicker, in days in some cases.

c3pu Wed 11-Jan-17 22:21:13

Don't talk to me about toilet training! Ds1 was no trouble at all, picked it up reasonably well when he was about 3.

Ds2 is utter rubbish at it. He's now 6 and still isn't fully there and would rather crap his pants than stop playing or watching TV to go to the toilet. He has finally managed to get going for a wee nailed though.

Slowly improving with his poo's, but he's still got quite some way to go. Grrrr.

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