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AIBU?

To think SAHM's have an easier life?

379 replies

workingmummy123 · 11/01/2017 19:50

I understand this won't please everyone but I'm referring to SAHMs with school age children. I read lots of articles - one today on Facebook - which talk about how SAHMs "work" at home doing a hundred domestic chores. However I work full time and still have to do the exact same number of domestic chores - I just have less time to do them. Am I missing something??

OP posts:
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Justme3 · 11/01/2017 19:52

I'm a SAHM with pre school age DC. No way would I stay home once they're at school!!! Dunno what'd I would do all day I'd go mad!
So from a SAHM in answer to your question yes one they go to school that would be easier than working !

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Richteadipped2 · 11/01/2017 19:53

You could be right. But so what?Smile

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citybushisland · 11/01/2017 19:53

I've been both, both were equally hard for different reasons, both met with disapproval from either camp. Why can't women just support each other and their choices we have enough crap to deal with without turning on each other.

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NE14T · 11/01/2017 19:54

I would think so but then I guess it's always a bit grass is greener.

But yes, surely all the jobs that need doing need doing anyway?!

Not like with preschool children where if they're at nursery and you're out the house it stays cleaner. SAHM of under 5s must be run ragged!

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JenBehavingBadly · 11/01/2017 19:54

Having been in both sides of the fence, being a SAHM is a piece of piss compared to working.

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ilovesooty · 11/01/2017 19:55

I understand this won't please everyone

I think you're spot on there. Hmm

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NE14T · 11/01/2017 19:55

Sometimes I think I'd love to be a SAHM. But as the only adult in our household we'd be somewhat broke!

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roundandroundthehouses · 11/01/2017 19:55

Meh. Imagine if we were all in some sort of hard-life competition, where the one with the hardest life was the winner. Wouldn't be much of a victory, would it? If someone has an easier life than me, good luck to them, as long as they aren't making my life harder by doing it.

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Gowgirl · 11/01/2017 19:56

Waiting for all mine to be in school, I'm going to nap! Actually finish a rooms deep clean, drink a hot cup of coffee, eat an entire lunch, see the bottom of my washing basket etc, etc, Grin

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sonlypuppyfat · 11/01/2017 19:56

My kids are at school I've a lovely life I do my jobs in the morning and watch a dvd in the afternoon

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BrownAjah · 11/01/2017 19:56

What's your point? So what if they do?

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smurfest · 11/01/2017 19:57

where are these hundreds of articles? I've not seen any.

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AgentProvocateur · 11/01/2017 19:57

Of course SAHMS with school-age children have an easier life. I don't think anyone would argue otherwise. Not even sure why this is an AIBU.

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Ambivalentmum · 11/01/2017 19:58

Hi, working! I think that SAHM only have easier life if the money is not tight. I was one until my son went to school. Did not enjoy it as much as some. Felt worthless and very bored. Could not afford doing many nice things that disposable income allows now. Perhaps cooking from scratch more then is the only thing that I miss now. DH is great with doing chores, so I definitely prefer being gainfully employed.

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Disabrie22 · 11/01/2017 19:58

I think that's only if the SAHM with school age children has the money to enjoy the time. I have friends who are in that situ and their hubbies earn enough so they don't need to work and they still have loads of expendable income. They gym five mornings a week, have lovely lunches and can shop as much as they like for house and themselves. I love my job but that would be a very relaxing life I think!

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ChicRock · 11/01/2017 19:59

Talk about stating the bleeding obvious.

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MontePulciana · 11/01/2017 19:59

Probably do have an easier life when kids go to school yea. Which is why I'm not going back. I cannot wait for them to start so I can start doing the things I've wanted to do for so long!

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Disabrie22 · 11/01/2017 19:59

I should add they also have nannies and cleaners

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lalalalyra · 11/01/2017 19:59

Surely it entirely depends? A SAHM with a cleaner, tidy kids and a helpful partner obviously has it easier than a WOHM who works fullt-time, has a long commute, is single and has really young kids so has to do everything by themselves.

I'm a SAHM. I have 6 kids (3 teens, 3 under 9's). Husband works away months at a time so I have it easier than some working Mums and not as easy as others. It was much easier when I worked, had a cleaner and my husband wasn't away with work for 3 months - so all relative.

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Crumbs1 · 11/01/2017 20:00

When they were of school age I went back to work part time as I couldn't bear to be one of the 'tennis and lunch' set getting excited by having my nails done. Fine if that's your thing but it was never mine. Part time was a perfect balance for me. Time with children, some time thinking about adult world and not too exhausted at end of week. I was always lucky that I had autonomy to,juggle mynhours around and work from home, if I wanted. When youngest started sixth form, I went back full time to avoid an empty nest meltdown.

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booellesmum · 11/01/2017 20:00

I worked full time until first was 4 and then 4 days a week when second was born.
It was harder being at home on the day off!
I love my job and my kids but work is definitely easier than entertaining all day and tidying up from activities constantly.
I guess I'd say harder for sahm's until they go to school then easier as they are not at home all day.

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MatildaTheCat · 11/01/2017 20:00

If you have a partner who cannot ever commit to doing their share of holiday and sickness cover, may well be away for days or weeks at a time and isn't around to cover any after school activities then perhaps working outside the home isn't an option? The working hours she puts in may be spread out over the entire week but possibly not easier but surely that depends on the type of employment.

Fwiw it's very easy indeed to fill a day if you have friends, interests and incentive.

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DontTouchTheMoustache · 11/01/2017 20:01

And the Goady thread of the week award goes to...

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Rixera · 11/01/2017 20:01

School age only is a bit different but it pisses me off when people say working mums do the same amount anyway.

If your child is at a childminders, it is not making messes in your house. You do not go through the crockery for meals and snacks through a day as you won't be home to eat there. You will not have multiple outfit changes as your child has smeared things on you, and you won't get the same degree of cabin fever from being around a small loud creature of demand 24 hours a day.

So basically I'd rather not judge anyone.

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knaffedoff · 11/01/2017 20:02

I work part-time with school age children. I would agree that my life is easier than those who work longer hours than me, however it was a choice I made with my husband. I aim the main organiser of the household, I do the bulk of housework and we would have a much better standard of living if I worked longer.

My friends who don't work tend to do alot of voluntary/ pta / helping within schools and so they are hardly sitting around supping tea all day.

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