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To be really worried dh might have cancer

(23 Posts)
Chattycat78 Wed 11-Jan-17 17:21:23

I know no one can answer this for me/give a diagnosis, but im trying to work out if I'm being overly worried about this without really knowing the facts.

Dh (who turns 37 next week) has been getting back pain for about a year around spine area. Seems to have developed into a chronic type thing. Didn't think much of it til recently - we have a toddler and a baby and I assumed it would be linked to lifting heavy toddler a lot/exercise etc. However he mentioned at the weekend that he's worried it's been going on for so long. Now I think about it I agreesad.

Unfortunately I've made the mistake of using doctor google which has provided lots of lovely answers such as secondary cancer, prostate cancer, lung cancer etc. sad

Wouldn't he have other symptoms if it was one of these or a secondary cancer in the spine? If it was secondary it would be advanced wouldn't it and therefore surely there would be other signs? He's not lost any apparent weight although he does look tired- but we do have 2 children under 2 and the baby wakes us both at night and toddler gets up early.

I should say that cancer is on both of our minds recently as one of my good friends recently had a stage 4 lung cancer diagnoses a year ago (age 36) and one of his friends has just had a pancreatic cancer diagnosis.

I can't get it off my mind- I'm so worried about him - he's booked a drs appt but it's not for almost 2 weeks! I keep visualising him not being around for our small children growing up.

Am i BU or catastrophising before i even have any facts?

dowhatnow Wed 11-Jan-17 17:23:43

Probably catastrophising but I'm no help because I do it too.

Chattycat78 Wed 11-Jan-17 17:24:14

smile glad I'm not alone

cheekyfunkymonkey Wed 11-Jan-17 17:24:45

Get him to make a DRS appointment tomorrow.

mirrormirror10 Wed 11-Jan-17 17:25:45

What is the pain like? Dull ache...nerve pain? Where on his spine is it?
I think it's probably back problems rather than cancer but I know it's hard not to worry flowers

IrishTwin Wed 11-Jan-17 17:26:05

It's normal to worry but believe me googling symptoms always leads to cancer so I wouldn't put much scope on that! You need to wait and see what doc says, back pain is unbelievably common and rarely a sign of serious illness particularly lower back pain. I know it's hard but try and relax!

mum2Bomg Wed 11-Jan-17 17:26:38

If he just has backache and nothing else then you're over worrying. Someone wise in my life once said, "There's no point in living through something painful twice." Meaning if it's bad you'll deal with it then and there, once. There's zero point in living through every scenario in your mind. flowers

mum2Bomg Wed 11-Jan-17 17:28:05

Can you book a chiropractors appt now and see if he can get some diagnosis/relief? That might reassure you?

Megsmcgoo Wed 11-Jan-17 17:28:40

Is it lower back? I had lower back and leg pain for about 6 months until I went to the doctors and was diagnosed with sciatica. He should book an appointment with the doctors so they can look into it further

CafeAuLaitMerci Wed 11-Jan-17 17:28:59

Has he got any other symptoms?

themueslicamel Wed 11-Jan-17 17:30:51

Get him to the doctors asap as a precaution, insists on an ultrasound.

It's most likely nothing, although testicular cancer can show up as lower back pain.

Do not ignore it, acting quickly saved my life when I had testicular cancer.

Best to be sure one way or another.

Whatabloodyidiot1 Wed 11-Jan-17 17:31:04

Go to the Drs immediately. I'm going to be the bearer of bad news here but if my story helps just one person then that's something.
My mum had chronic back pain too, it went on and on, dismissed as wear and tear etc (she was only 60) fobbed off with painkillers, physio etc. It became so bad that she was taken into hospital, given an MRI and it showed her spine was broken, a whacking great rumour had been growing in there and caused her back to break. The tumour was secondary, all spinal tumours are. 12 weeks later she was dead.
This happened in November so yes, it's still very raw and I'm very angry. She didn't ignore it, she sought help, your husband will probably NOT have cancer and will probably be fine.
But don't be fobbed off, pay for a private MRI if you have to, don't wait any longer.
I know my story is like an urban myth, I hardly believe it myself but it does happen, don't let it happen to you.

themueslicamel Wed 11-Jan-17 17:31:51

Oh, and stay off dr google, it's nightmare!

Whatabloodyidiot1 Wed 11-Jan-17 17:33:43

Sometimes back pain isn't just innocent. That's all my mum had, no other symptoms at all, working full time, active, healthy, no weight loss etc back pain began in January 2016, it got worse and worse, diagnosed in august and died in November.

5BlueHydrangea Wed 11-Jan-17 17:34:25

I have a prolapsed disc in my lower back. Have been in pain with it for 4 years! There is a good chance it is something like that. The GP will do a detailed examination and may refer for bloods, X-ray or MRI. Mine was very reluctant to refer for MRI but I got there in the end! Was referred to pain clinic before scan (actually it was them that booked MRI).
It's not great and has affected lots of things but far better than anything like cancer of course.

Chattycat78 Wed 11-Jan-17 17:34:56

I think I'd probably call it more like sort of mid to low back pain- like a full ache. Worse in the morning and worse if he twists when playing sport he says. Just to the side of the spine. It is a fair point that google always leads to cancer though. Re other symptoms - TBH he did have one or two episodes of chest pain over xmas but he had really bad anxiety over xmas to do with a work issue, and when he sorted that out it went away. Nothing else of note.

FiveGoMadInDorset Wed 11-Jan-17 17:36:15

Definitely Doctors now, DH has stage 4 cancer with secondaries and no symptoms whatsoever

Aroundtheworldandback Wed 11-Jan-17 17:38:13

I could have written your post op, apart from the fact that my dh's back pain is more recent, started after skiing but been going on too long for it to be anything to do with that. He keeps going for osteopathic treatment but surely that's treating the symptom not the cause.

Whereabouts on your dh's spine is the pain, upper or lower? Mine saw gp yesterday but as I thought waste of time, just told him to go back if no improvement in a month. As it's a private gp he can ask do see a consultant, but how do you begin to know what type of specialist?

I'm sure your dh is fine, chances of it being something bad are minimal, but it's the "wait and see" approach by doctors I find so disappointing, surely they need to be more pro-active to match European cancer survival rates in worst case scenarios?

Whatabloodyidiot1 Wed 11-Jan-17 17:40:48

I'd urge anyone to pay for a private MRI, it's the only way to see what's really going on but most GPs make you wait months and months before allowing one because they cost the NHS so much money. It's no use saying 'what if' I know that but I can't help wondering if my mum would still be here if she'd been given one sooner.

Chattycat78 Wed 11-Jan-17 17:41:04

Thanks all. Very Sorry to hear the worst case scenario stories. X

Pitapotamus Wed 11-Jan-17 17:43:26

Definitely go to the dr and have it checked. My husband has this and has done for over 5 years. He just has a bit of fluid leaking out of his spine and he's had an MRI scan and the Dr was able to give him some steroid injections to help. Back pain caused by wear and tear type issues are really common at his age, much more common than cancer so the chances are it will be something like that. I'm always doing Dr Google and terrifying myself and my proper Dr once said common problems are common so you rule those out before you worry unduly about uncommon things! I always try to remember that advice!

Osirus Wed 11-Jan-17 17:46:08

I know of a lady who suffered the same fate as what's DM. She too was only 60, and again died within three months. It was such a shock.

It's probably not cancer, but it's good he's getting checked.

CakesRUs Wed 11-Jan-17 18:01:22

If a GP suspects cancer, they have to be seen within 2 weeks, so the quicker you can get an appointment, the less time you'll have worrying about it. You probably are catastrophising, but who doesn't after googling (we all do it). Good luck, hope it goes the right way and gets sorted fast.

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