unhappy re stairgates...

[happybunnyme]

Mil wants ds (17m) at her house but wont get stairgates as it will 'ruin' her decor....

Our sil has told her to use a pressure attached stairgate rather than one you screw to the wall and has given her one that she doesnt use (its for the top of the stairs!)

My understanding is that the pressure fitted ones are not safe for tops of stairs as;

• the bottom bar of the frame creates a tripping hazzard
  
• they can fall down when pushed against
  

Its not my sil whose child will be affected (mil goes to their house) so im pissed off she got involved.

Aibu to insist on a safe gate or refuse her having him?

[happybunnyme]

• weve offered to pay for and fit it.

[Soubriquet]

We have pressure fit stairgates

Nowt wrong with them

Besides I'm sure your Ds would spend more time downstairs than upstairs won't he?

And will be fully supervised whilst upstairs

[Wolfiefan]

Do you mean to visit or stay over? Surely if it's a visit he won't be left upstairs unattended?

[DontTouchTheMoustache]

the pressure fit ones are fine for the top of the stairs. YABU.

[CatsRidingRollercoasters]

I would insist on a stair gate but I had no idea that pressure fitted ones were unsuitable for the top of the stairs... Ours is at the top of the stairs. Following with interest.

[Note3]

I am on my third child. I have only ever had pressure gates at the top and bottom of my stairs and touch wood never a problem. Occasionally needs tightening but nothing of a concern. You're not meant to put any stair Gate directly at top of stairs as a safety issue whether pressure fitted or drilled

[jumpingcold]

These cups stop the pressure fitted ones falling down the stairs if pushed and are unobtrusive when the gate isn't there www.munchkin.co.uk/wall-cup-assembly-pack-4pk.html

Or my in laws have this gate - it lifts off the hinges easily so again can be pretty unobtrusive most of the time m.johnlewis.com/babydan-no-trip-wooden-baby-stair-gate/p/423262?sku=231863902&s_kwcid=2dx92700016891163618&tmad=c&tmcampid=2&gclid=CK2uzunJuNECFRXjGwod2fsCwA&gclsrc=aw.ds

(There's an adjustable width version too www.amazon.co.uk/BabyDan-Multidan-Extending-Wooden-Version/dp/B00BEWVWYG)?tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21

[AVeryBigHouse]

Sorry, I think YABU.

Pressure fit stairs gates are fine at the top of stairs. We've managed ok with our 3 dc.

Will he be going upstairs much anyway?

[happybunnyme]

Every report ive read including Which guides say pressure ones are not suitable for tops of stairways. Not least because the bottom bar creates an obvious tripping hazard, but mainly as they can come loose and a strong toddler could push it free...

[MrGrumpy01]

My MIL never had stairgates. The times she did have mine when they were small she just used to shut the door to the room they were in, she also followed them around a lot more than I did.

Is your ds likely to be unsupervised near to the stairs?

I did insist on a fireguard as they only have gas fires as a heating supply, but it never crossed my mind to tell them to get stairgates

[happybunnyme]

Thanks Jumping. She doesnt want any screws in her walls

[Soubriquet]

Which is fair enough

What if you was renting and you wasn't allowed to put screws in your walls? What would you do then?

[NennyNooNoo]

Why doesn't she use the pressure fit one at the bottom of the stairs and keep him downstairs when he visits? Or are you talking overnight visits?

[happybunnyme]

She is likely to be very complacent with supervising. She doesnt pay attention. The fact that she is more bothered aboit her wall decor than gc saftey speaks for itself!

[Somedays]

My DPs and PILs have no stair gates and they all look after DGCs in their respective homes without the DCs parents around. None of the children have fallen down the stairs at either place - they get supervised til they can navigate them safely. Much easier for GPs to do that than parents who sometimes just have to get on without constant supervision of DC.

[scottishdiem]

Bit unreasonable to be pissed off at your SIL for trying to help.

My SIL has six kids (all under 10) and uses a pressure stairgate at the top of the stairs. Never been a problem despite her tribe of marauding miscreants.

[eurochick]

We have a pressure fit gate at the top of our stairs. It is very secure and we haven't tripped over it yet.

[sqidsin]

Will she be looking after your DD while you aren't there?

[happybunnyme]

We are expecting baby#2 so ds may have to stop overnight whilst im in labour. Had complications when birthing ds so its highly likely he will need to stop 😕

[Crumbs1]

We only ever had pressure fitted ones. Always fine.
I think this is the second post by OP about mother in law having baby. I think maybe you don't want to leave the little one with mother in law and are looking for excuses.

[SpiceAddict]

We had pressure fit ones for my DC, never had a problem. They were pushed against daily for 4 years and never came loose.

[happybunnyme]

All these reports cant be wrong.

[Soubriquet]

I think your being a bit PFB tbh

Do you think this is the same poster as the leaving with MIL twice a month Crumbs?

[happybunnyme]

Not me Crumbs and not looking for excuses. Just want to be confident ds is safe

[Questioningeverything]

Pressure fit at the top of my stairs. Never had an issue, needed it tightening maybe twice in 3yrs. Never tripped over it either.

I spose it's like everything with babies, there's new guidelines every few years. I haven't the inclination to change how I've always done it personally, it works for us and the only time ds has fallen down the stairs he wasn't on the gate, he was mucking around. And if I didn't have dc number 2 there'd be no gate there anyway.