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Sleep baby fucking sleep

(136 Posts)
sleeplesshell Tue 10-Jan-17 20:40:18

Why will my 10 month old not fucking sleep!!! She's not slept more than an hour in 5 months and I'm losing my mind!!! She's treating bedtime like a nap and is up until midnight every.single.night. I'm so fucking frustrated. I've tried it all and no joy. Not a minute to myself ever.

lilyb84 Tue 10-Jan-17 20:46:43

Right there with you at 11 (nearly 12) months. Are you breastfeeding? What have you tried?

I've posted here about our sleep issues and have had great advice so hopefully some will be along for you soon. flowers in the meantime, it's hard work!! I'm only getting by through sheer will power and an understanding manager.

Is your partner helping at night?

ineedwine99 Tue 10-Jan-17 20:49:04

No advise but I hope things get better very very soon! wine cake flowers

LaurieMarlow Tue 10-Jan-17 20:50:54

You can't carry on like this and neither can she. Time for sleep training.

StorminaBcup Tue 10-Jan-17 20:54:10

Same here with my 9 month old. I started the bed time routine at half 6 and he's still dicking about. How hard is it to go to sleep? I don't understand either!

Trifleorbust Tue 10-Jan-17 20:54:11

What seems to be the issue? Is she waking hungry, thirsty, in pain? Is she being removed from the room when she wakes, or left to settle again for a while? Is she in her own room?

madmare77 Tue 10-Jan-17 20:57:17

I know people have very different views on controlled crying but it worked for me. DD was a nightmare with sleeping. I cracked when she was 9 months old.
Let her cry when we put her in her cot. Day 1 she cried for 4 hours. Day 2 about 2 hours. Day 3 about 10 mins. Day 4 no crying!!!! Do it now before she is big enough to get up and you'll have to physically have to put her back to bed. It's hard but be determined and consistent and you'll get there

Rainydayspending Tue 10-Jan-17 21:02:30

3 nights into the disappearing chair (it's not magic, it's constantly putting them back to bed tucked in and soothing them gradually less of everything). Going well. (Ds is 10 months). He'd recently started waking 5 times a night instead of 2.

PotteringAlong Tue 10-Jan-17 21:04:01

m.youtube.com/watch?v=Udj-o2m39NA

roses2 Tue 10-Jan-17 21:04:07

My 11month old son was waking hourly from birth to around 9 months.

I started controlled crying to although it took one month when my son was 8 months old!

Now he will sleep 6.30pm - 5.30pm, have a bottle of milk then go back to sleep again for another 2-3 hours.

He sleeps through twice a week. The other days he wakes 1-2 times although I tend to leave him for a bit to cry.

Whatever you do, be consistent or it won't work!

LaurieMarlow Tue 10-Jan-17 21:11:22

I did cc with DS at 9 months and it worked a charm in 2 nights. Not to say they weren't tough nights, but well worth it because all our lives improved immensely after that.

Athome77 Tue 10-Jan-17 21:13:26

I remember being were you are, it does get better, hang in there. I can't remember,before what we did, but by one he was having a decent night.

sleeplesshell Tue 10-Jan-17 21:27:29

She's BF and we've been cosleeping as the sheer amount of wakes up would mean no sleep. She naps great during the day, one nap at around 9:30 for 45/60 mins and again at around 1pm for about 1.5hrs. All times I need to be beside her, she wakes the instant I move. Most days it suits me to snooze beside her so I've made this bad habit sadBedtime routine is supper (porridge/banana/yogurt) quick bath, dressed for bed, feed her to sleep at around 7. She then wakes after 20 mins despite being held, refuses to go back asleep. I've persevered a few night but she's awake for another 2 hrs at least. More recently I've just brought her downstairs because I'm getting total fed up of being in a dark room with white noise playing for hours.

She's tired when she come downstairs but even trying an hour later after many eye rubs she won't go asleep until at least 2 hrs later. I bring her up around 11 and she eventually gives up and goes asleep. Only to wake up an hour later and an hour later and an hour later eventually we get up around 7:30.

She did sleep in a cot up until 4 months but not recently. After 4 months I could feed her to sleep and sneak off and she'd sleep a few hours until I went to bed and joined her.

Me and DH are fighting over her not sleeping and what approach to take. He helps out during the night and will try settle her in the cot... wakes every 20 mins when in it and last resort is her bouncer which she will sleep in if rocked.

starsinyourpies Tue 10-Jan-17 21:31:51

Sorry but it sounds like you really need to move on from feeding to sleep. So last BF earlier before bedtime, DH does bedtime etc. Will be painful to start with, perhaps a night where DH can go in and calm/be there but obv no milk on tap? We did a couple of nights or just offering water instead and she stopped asking.

backtowork2015 Tue 10-Jan-17 21:33:53

Is there a chance she's overtired at bedtime? Maybe a 30mins power nap at 4pm would help. You'd probably need to drive or walk the pushchair to get it though. My dd would always wake up exactly 45 mins after falling asleep if she was overtired. You could set your watch by her. She needed that late afternoon nap for a long time.

newtothenet Tue 10-Jan-17 21:35:29

I was you. My 2 and 3 year olds don't sheep through now but need a quick cuddle a couple of times in the night which is perfectly manageable. I can't recommend how to get your baby to sleep but can I suggest something that used to give me a glimpse of hope? Read old mumsnet threads about the exact same issue, note that they're zombie threads from 2011 and that said baby is now six and at school and presumably not awake all night. And one day you will be there too. I don't know if that helps you at all but it used to give me some comfort.

SleepyRoo Tue 10-Jan-17 21:36:11

Put her in a cot in another room. Sorry to state the obvious but I know how hard it can be to see the solution when you're where you are.

LBOCS2 Tue 10-Jan-17 21:37:27

Honestly, DD1 was like this. It's really hard.

We sleep trained DD2 at 7mo. We did controlled crying and it worked like a dream. She's 8.5 months, I feed her, put her down, walk away. She wakes once in the night and even if she doesn't fall asleep when I feed her I'm in and out in 10 minutes because I put her in her cot anyway and she goes back to sleep!

MumsyH Tue 10-Jan-17 21:47:08

I could almost have written your post word for word! Not much help but whats saved my sanity is giving up the fight in the darkened hoover noise hell and taking her for a play unti shes nackered herself out enough to go to sleep at 10/11/12.... every night Im determined not to get false hope and try her at the first eye rub but always fail and get bitterly disapointed when she wont go down.
Were going in hard with her own bed in her.own room after hearing some other sucess storoes,nor holding out too much hope tho..

qazxc Tue 10-Jan-17 21:49:33

www.youtube.com/watch?v=faOymld4lpQ

Trifleorbust Tue 10-Jan-17 21:53:07

I think your DH needs to take a week off work, you need to get her in her own room and you need to drop the feeding to sleep. Fewer naps in the day may help.

Writerwannabe83 Tue 10-Jan-17 21:56:52

Your baby sounds exactly but like mine when he was 9 months and I realised something had to be done.

Contact Nicola from childsleepsolutions. (She has website and facebook) as she saved my life, my mental health and probably my marriage.

Stripeyblanket Tue 10-Jan-17 21:59:39

Have you tried putting her in her own room? I felt very much like you with my son. He was an absolute nightmare when little and wouldn't even nap in the day either, unless on me. Feeding 4/5 times a night and the only way I got any rest was to co-sleep, albeit disturbed when he latched on or swapping sides etc. At around 7 months old we tried him in his own room. (He hadn't even napped in his cot during the day at this point) I'll admit I was dreading it, dreading the thought of dragging my sorry ass down the corridor 5 times a night... first night he woke twice and it stayed like that for a couple of weeks, then went down to once, then at 10 months he slept through 6.30-6.30/7.30ish and started napping in the day up to 3 hours! I sat in his room and fed him to sleep then gently put him down. If he woke, I stroked his hair and held his hand and he usually went off within a few minutes.
I think despite cosleeping being a comfort that your LO can smell you etc and free access to boob, maybe like with my LB, you are disturbing them and they are disturbing you. Not sure if it will work but you've nothing to lose if you haven't! Other than that, there is a book called The Gentle Sleep Book that has suggestions that aren't quite as harsh as controlled crying, but if that's what works for you, that's what works.
I'd read up on all the pro's and con's of CC though and any other techniques. It has been linked to some studies that can damage certain types of development. I don't know how true this is but it's always worth a bit of research first.

Ragwort Tue 10-Jan-17 22:15:23

I think you need to get tough, at 10 months your DD could surely be in her own room, and try to get out of the habit of feeding her to sleep. Can your DH do the bedtime routine so that she doesn't smell your milk - and you should leave the house; let him get on with it.

I know CC - or variations - is frowned on here on Mumsnet and so you rarely read about, I've given up posting about it because of the flaming, you can't continue like this, it will drive you insane.

glueandstick Tue 10-Jan-17 22:19:44

I have no helpful words but I know what you're feeling. My 10 month old spoiled us by sleeping through for a few months. Now naps are just about gone, bed time is a totally moveable feast and 3am is then time to 'sing' and practice walking.

I swear when the teenage years come I'll be repaying the favour.

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