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To be pissed off with Dh about this! (Plus update on previous thread)

(70 Posts)
HannahSmithson45 Tue 10-Jan-17 18:24:55

Dh has booked a skiing holiday for his son (my stepson) as well as his nephew and his friend and son.

This is the first I have heard of the holiday and I am a bit annoyed that I and my son have not been considered by Dh to go. I don't know or want to know how to ski (plus i'm pregnant). This is also annoying as it means we wont have a family holiday until next year as i'm due in the summer and my son and dh step daughter (who is not going as well) have GCSE's will be full of revision for them.

We had some issues recently in regards to his step kids behaviour towards my son and while that has improved in the last couple of weeks it is also still very raw. However this is not linked to that because dh has been just as inconsiderate to his step daughter as to me or his stepson.

Im pregnant fgs he should not be going away for the week without me, also the place they are staying is a spa so i could just relax there. My son could always learn to ski, but dh had not even offered to add us on to the holiday.

Crowdblundering Tue 10-Jan-17 18:27:49

Book yourself and your son an all inclusive beach holiday grin

LIZS Tue 10-Jan-17 18:29:11

It sounds like a lads' holiday, not a family one. It really wouldn't be much fun for you. Why can't you go away later in the year, babies can travel. He should have discussed spending family money and his leave though. How pg will you be when they go?

Ilovecaindingle Tue 10-Jan-17 18:29:36

As above but take dsd. Some good bonding time before new sibling arrives.

Ilovecaindingle Tue 10-Jan-17 18:29:56

Meant with ds also!!

user1480946351 Tue 10-Jan-17 18:33:06

Why are his (presumably) ex stepkids anything to do with the whole thing?

pipsqueak25 Tue 10-Jan-17 18:34:38

how far pregnant are you ? bu to say he can't go because of that tbh but the fact is it sounds like a boys jolly up and if ds has been on the receiving end of aggro would he really want to go any way ? l agree though, it would have been nice to be asked.

HannahSmithson45 Tue 10-Jan-17 18:39:25

Book yourself and your son an all inclusive beach holiday

I couldn't afford to have a holiday without dh paying most of the cost.

Potnoodlewilld0 Tue 10-Jan-17 18:41:57

Yeah that's twattish. Why are you not sharing money?

kittybiscuits Tue 10-Jan-17 18:43:45

Oh my God. Not that massive wanker again sad. Hannah, honestly, I think you know what you need to do.

MoreThanUs Tue 10-Jan-17 18:46:54

I never remember previous threads from posters, but even I remember your story!!

You're wasting your time with him - and unfortunately exposing your son to stuff along the way too.

WatchfulOwl Tue 10-Jan-17 18:47:23

I don't really get why you need an invitation, just tell him you're coming too?

If you're married you can't just book a holiday for one half of the holiday and not include your partner confused

WatchfulOwl Tue 10-Jan-17 18:48:03

*One half of the family

splendide Tue 10-Jan-17 18:55:50

How does DH stepdaughter fit in? Do you mean your daughter? Or is this DH's ex's child?

donquixotedelamancha Tue 10-Jan-17 19:00:41

"I couldn't afford to have a holiday without dh paying most of the cost."

I don't really understand this- legally its as much your money as his. Do you run separate finances, savings and all?

I can't imagine booking hols without consulting DP. Is this unusual? Do you run your lives quite separately?

TaliZorahVasNormandy Tue 10-Jan-17 19:03:36

I'd tell your DH to stump up some money for you and your son.

OP after your previous thread, you need to put your foot down.

DameDeDoubtance Tue 10-Jan-17 19:03:43

I take it he has previous for being a wanker, and is now being a wanker? He will probably continue to be a wanker, make plans.

EweAreHere Tue 10-Jan-17 19:17:33

Doesn't sound like much a partner in life... wow.

I'd tell him I'd expect him to send you and yours on a holiday while they're away ... some place warm then, since they're not invited.

Allalonenow Tue 10-Jan-17 19:19:21

If your son is of a similar age to the other boys who are going, it's pretty mean and hurtful that he is not invited.

But the real problem is that it wasn't discussed with you first, clearly your thoughts and feelings are of no interest to your DH. You are not a full partner in the relationship are you?

You need to look at how your finances are organized if he can arrange a holiday but you can't. For the moment I'd leave your DSD out of the situation, it's much more important that you change things so that you are equally in control with your partner.

Things will get worse after your baby is born unless you do something now. How is your maternity leave going to be financed?

RainbowJack Tue 10-Jan-17 19:19:42

What was his excuse?

CoraPirbright Tue 10-Jan-17 19:23:17

What did he say when you discovered this holiday? What was his reply when you said "Hang on, what?? You are going on holiday and haven't even asked me & ds??"?

Earlgreywithmilk Tue 10-Jan-17 19:37:30

So weird to me. My dh wouldn't even go on a night out without informing me first (and neither would I). It's called consideration.

dontcallmethatyoucunt Tue 10-Jan-17 19:42:10

Really? Wow, just wow. How much of a them and us does he wish to create in your so called 'family'.

A clear, very very clear, fuck you, to both your kids. I would be very upset and sad about this. Clearly he doesn't see you all as his new family, there are clearly very defined lines of engagement.

I don't have a step family, but I cannot imagine doing this to children. You can explain it away any way you like, but ultimately your kids are not in his gang.

JustSpeakSense Tue 10-Jan-17 19:45:13

Are you the poster who's step kids were ridiculing your son when they were out jogging/running?

Memoires Tue 10-Jan-17 20:14:11

Thank your lucky stars you're not going. You don't want to be cooking and cleaning up after a bunch of blokes who'll be shit faced in the evening and hungover in the morning.

Go away somewhere else - take ds and dsd?

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