Calling all WeightWatchers helpers! AIBU to think this is too much?

[BakingWithPreSchoolerand6YO]

Calling all WW helpers!

Quick random question - as a helper, what does your leader / coach expect you to do?
Do you:
Unpack car
Set up shop and rest of meeting
Run shop
Help weigh in
Meet and greet new members and help them sign up
Cash up shop
Pack up everything and load up car
Fold down tables and chairs and put away?

Background:

Last year I found myself being a helper for a WW group that a school mum friend started. I didn't offer, it was just assumed! Having no backbone and being a people pleaser I stuck with it as didn't want to let school mum friend down.

Meeting was in town 20-30 mins away (depending on traffic) as WW asked her to do meeting in that specific town and she's only recently asked for and arranged new meeting where we live. I've now moved to help at that meeting instead but she'd asked me to do both meetings this month to help with new members as she hasn't arranged a proper replacement helper for me in original meeting.

I have been doing most of the list above most of the time. Recently I've not been able to get to meeting early to help set up (childcare issues - often I've had to bring kids with me, including occasions when DP would have been back in time for me to get to meeting 10 mins before it started but friend was running late so sent emergency text asking me to get there earlier) I've also ended up leaving her to pack up car on a few occasions as meeting had run over and I needed to get home in an attempt to have my tea before 9pm!

Last meeting (very first meeting of new group in home town) I arrived 50 mins before meeting start time in order to help set up, I did welcoming, shop and weighing in meeting, packed up all shop, weighing stuff, washed and dried and put away all cups from the cuppas people had during meeting, loaded my car up with all her stuff, drove her home and unloaded her stuff. While I was packing away she was doing her admin from the meeting. I asked her twice to put away chairs and tables so that we could go as I'd been there three hours at that point and wanted to get home and have tea.

Interested to know what other WW helpers do as I'm sure I'm being expected to do too much. I've told her she needs to ask people from new meeting to be helpers as I can only do it for a couple more months.

Helping has made me go, so it's made me persevere with eating healthily but I'd rather pay my membership and be free to just pop into meetings. I don't really track or count any more and am still losing so to be honest I'd probably be okay with a proper pair of scales and making sure I weigh regularly to make sure I stay focused on being healthy.

So, AIBU to think that I'm being expected to do too much and to be firm with her about what level of help is appropriate?

[Bizzysocks]

My WW leader has 2 helpers, one helps weigh, one does the shop, the leader weighs and sorts out new members. They all pack up together . I guess my leader does her paper work when she gets home.

I would say she needs to help pack up and do her paper work at home , she is taking advantage of you.

[HardofCleaning]

YANBU. I read your last thread and you really need to send that email to her in no uncertain terms to say that you can't help any longer in any capacity, you might attend meetings but only when you have the time. She needs to ask someone else for help. That is a ridiculous time commitment for anyone to expect as a favour.

You should set a hard deadline too four weeks is plenty. Then no more help. I know you said she was scatty rather than manipulative and you sound like a great friend but whatever her motivation you're being taken advantage of.

[AgentProvocateur]

You posted an identical thread last week

[FooFighter99]

I think she is taking full advantage of your kind nature. At the SW group I used to attend, the Leader had 3 helpers - one to weigh, one to take membership money and one to run the shop while she greeted new members and got them sorted. And we all mucked in at the end to clear up cups, put tables and chairs away and load the Leaders car!!

You need to tell her that you are doing too much, she gets paid to run the groups, you do not.

[CiderwithBuda]

She needs more helpers. I used to help out at meetings and there were about five helpers.

I did find that helping meant I didn't focus so much on the actual point of the meeting so wouldn't do it again.

[BakingWithPreSchoolerand6YO]

Agent is right, I was asking last week if I was being unreasonable not to do two meetings a week helping her. I have anxiety and worry that I'm being harsh or unkind. I thought better to ask here than a school mum friend who may think I'm being a cow. Having moved here 3 years ago I knew nobody. All mums in school playground seemed to have known each other since attending local baby groups and it's taken me a while to make some school mum friends. Don't want to screw it all up by being unkind or unhelpful to one of them.

She has asked the original group a few times for helpers but doesn't follow up properly asking specific people or explaining clearly what it entails. She keeps mentioning to me how if she had another helper "it will only take 15 mins to set up and pack away" but it dawned on me last night that it should be up to helpers to say what they'll help with rather than her assuming.

[BakingWithPreSchoolerand6YO]

Thanks everyone. Anxiety flaring so posted on here to check my reaction was reasonable and in proportion.

Have sent her this message:

Hiya. Well done on new meeting last night. When you send text to all members later remember to ask for help with shop and weigh ins and mention the free membership. I'll only be able to help until Feb half term so sooner we get new helpers the better so I can show them what to do before I leave. Don't know how often I'll get to meetings from Feb as DH NAME will be starting new job. Also, can only stay to help until 7.45 as was way too late last night getting home so you'll have to sort car out with HER DH NAME. Maybe he can help you pack up while kids wait in car after ELDEST'S swimming lesson? See you on Friday school run xxx

Thanks again for helping me put it in perspective and find my backbone.

[BakingWithPreSchoolerand6YO]

Thanks everyone. Anxiety flaring so posted on here to check my reaction was reasonable and in proportion.

Have sent her this message:

Hiya. Well done on new meeting last night. When you send text to all members later remember to ask for help with shop and weigh ins and mention the free membership. I'll only be able to help until Feb half term so sooner we get new helpers the better so I can show them what to do before I leave. Don't know how often I'll get to meetings from Feb as DH NAME will be starting new job. Also, can only stay to help until 7.45 as was way too late last night getting home so you'll have to sort car out with HER DH NAME. Maybe he can help you pack up while kids wait in car after ELDEST'S swimming lesson? See you on Friday school run xxx

Thanks again for helping me put it in perspective and find my backbone.

[FooFighter99]

Just remember that this is her job, not yours. You are under no obligation to help out so please don't feel like you are being mean to her.

[InfinityPlusOne]

She's taking complete advantage and you can at any point stop helping, you are under no obligation to her. There are several helpers at the meeting I go to and others willing to dig in as needed. People won't stop liking you if you stand up for yourself OP (as someone who suffers from anxiety myself) they usually end up respecting you more. Why should you give her so much unpaid help, she's compensated for being there after all and from the sounds of it you are the one doing all the donkey work!

[Ev1lEdna]

I think your email is very reasonable and clear. You helping her is a voluntary thing and now you can't commit to that as your life has changed. I think you have been doing far more than you should have to be honest. Every diet club group I have attended has had several helpers. As FooFighter says this is HER job not yours - she is being pad for it. The admin for the group is part of her job as is the set up and clean up afterwards, she can do the admin at home.

Hold firm to your email Bakingwith...' and don't back down at the end of this period, if she neglects to mention volunteers interject and stress the importance as you are leaving the post and it requires more than one person. Good luck and I hope you get to have some stress free meetings where you are just attending.

[crazywriter]

She is taking the piss and I say that as a former WW leader. I had at least 2 helpers at class. One would do the shop and the other would help weigh if there were a lot of members. Otherwise they would greetherson new members and help them with where to go. Wed all unpack and repack together. I'd do my paperwork at home. My shop clerk and me would do the money count to make sure it all tallied up. There should be clerk fees for you. It's only.like 20p a member but it could add up over time. Make sure you get that money otherwise she's pocketing it and WW won't like it.

I will admit it's hard being a leader. She may be sending texts out and nobody is willIng to help. I struggled with one meeting until I said I either needed helpers or the class was going to have to close because my husband could no longer help and I'd be stuck. I also explained the benefits of free membership.

Being a WW leader was actually more hassle than it was worth. I loved helping members and loved my helpers so much. But the company is a PITA and expects so much from the helpers for so little in return.

BTW I did help before being a leader and did do a lot of what you have listed but wasn't on my own!