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AIBU?

Beavers - child invested without us there

21 replies

DreamingofthePeaks · 10/01/2017 07:06

Last night our six year old daughter returned to Beavers after the Christmas break. She had been attending Beavers for perhaps six weeks but was not yet invested. Dh went to pick her up at the end of the session and was surprised to find that she had been invested! We had no idea this was going to take place and I would have really liked to be there to see her take her promise and receive her neckerchief. Apparently someone else was being invested that evening (their parents were invited to watch and take photos) and dd asked whether she could be invested too and they just said yes. We literally live a one minute walk from the scout hut too so could have easily popped down! Our other dd was invested at Cubs some weeks ago and we were invited to watch. I just don't get it. We had bought the uniform for youngest dd so they knew she was going to stay. I understand they may have forgotten about investing her but the ceremony only takes a few minutes at the end of the session so they could have done it the following week in order for us coming to watch couldn't they?

Realise this isn't one of life's major issues - just interested to hear what others think.

OP posts:

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DeathStare · 10/01/2017 07:10

dd asked whether she could be invested too

There's your answer OP . They were doing as your DD requested. I don't think it's reasonable to expect them to phone you to come down and then hang around and wait until you get there.

regularbutpanickingabit · 10/01/2017 07:10

She asked, they said yes. Sounds like they were accommodating her wishes, not that it was a personal slight against you!

StrawberryLeaf · 10/01/2017 07:12

I understand this is disappointing, I would be disappointed to miss something like that. However, I'm also a Guiding volunteer and suspect this has just been an oversight by the leader.

Perhaps you could ask the leader if anyone took any photos?

whyohwhy000 · 10/01/2017 07:14

Perhaps you could ask the leader if anyone took any photos?

Ask the other child's parents to see if they had photos of your DD.

Pantah630 · 10/01/2017 07:23

Cub leader here, I am very surprised you weren't informed beforehand. It's very unusual to invest as a one off, we would normally invest all the new ones together and quite often get our GSL in to do it so it's a bit of a ceremony. I'm sorry you missed it but you'll have another opportunity when she moves up to Cubs.

Allthewaves · 10/01/2017 07:28

we weren't invited to watch dc cubs investment before xmas, but could be he didn't tell us - he's a bit forgetful

she asked, they did it

DreamingofthePeaks · 10/01/2017 07:33

Thanks for replies. I'm not majorly upset about it - just a bit perplexed. Our dd is a bit like that though - just wants to get on with things! - so perhaps that's why it was a quickie investiture!

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harderandharder2breathe · 10/01/2017 08:37

Probably cause she wanted to do it, you weren't there when she asked so the assumed she wasn't bothered about you being there. The child 's wished matters more than the parents' here.

budgiegirl · 10/01/2017 09:19

Did the leader tell you what had happened, or did your dd? It it possible the leaders had sent a letter home before Christmas, and dd forgot to give it to you? It happens a lot at our Cubs (I'm a leader) so I now email parents to tell them rather then send letters home.

Cakingbad · 10/01/2017 09:25

I thought this thread was going to be about an adult child who had fallen for some new investment scam. Thought beavers were the new ostriches.

DreamingofthePeaks · 10/01/2017 09:33

Budgie - dd just said she asked if she could be invested too, so they did. Details were fairly scant as you can imagine. Apparently they all clapped for her so that's nice!

We get emails instead of letters too but I've checked and I only have one reminding us that it starts back this week.

Dd was delighted anyway and not remotely bothered that we weren't there

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DreamingofthePeaks · 10/01/2017 09:34

Haha Caking - sorry it was a fair bit tamer than you had imagined!

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GieryFas · 10/01/2017 09:35

I'd be a bit sad to miss it, but really pleased that the leaders were listening to my child. You'll get to see it again in Cubs and Scouts.

ZebraOwl · 10/01/2017 09:45

The wishes of the child are important - but so is their level of preparedness & comprehension, which is why my Brownies don't get to make their Promise as soon as they want to i.e. at their second or third meeting.

Where & when a child makes their Promise/gets invested is something that should be discussed with them in advance & it's particularly important with younger members to make parents aware of what their children want to do. Some of my Brownies' parents miss out because their daughters choose to make their Promise at residential events/on day trips, but parents can at least prepare for this & we take lots of photos for them.

If your DD was ready to be invested she should've been asked if she'd like to be & you should've been invited. At the very least, when she asked, given you live so close, the Leader should've invited you to come & watch! Investitures & Promise Ceremonies are meant to be Big Things as even at Beaver/Rainbow age they're meant to understand that their Promise is a Serious Commitment.

Check with the Leader if anyone took photos. And be on the alert for Cubs in two years/Brownies next year

budgiegirl · 10/01/2017 09:51

Does sound a bit odd then Dreaming. I'd be a bit perplexed as well.

The fact that she'd been there for 6 weeks is what makes me think that they'd maybe planned to invest her, but it hadn't been communicated to you properly. Maybe it was just an oversight.

It's a shame for you, but at least dd was happy !

pipsqueak25 · 10/01/2017 09:52

dream your dd sounds great, she 'likes to get on with things' isn't fazed by you not being there but it's credit to you that she is a confident young girl who knows what she wants in a positive way and she goes for it, that's
brilliant ! congrats on her invest.

pipsqueak25 · 10/01/2017 09:54

caking get the kettle on and your brain into gear, it's gonna be a long day

MiddleClassProblem · 10/01/2017 10:01

I think this will be a DD anecdote when she's older. Be proud she's a confident go getter x

TheThingsWeAdmitOnMN · 10/01/2017 10:16

They could easily have said 'Yes, of course you can, next week. Ask Mummy & Daddy if they'd like to come & watch'.

In my day parents weren't invited, but if they are now, then ^ seems much more reasonable.

DreamingofthePeaks · 10/01/2017 10:59

Thanks for your other replies. I am interested to hear from Zebra that it's not the usual way things happen. I can see the positive side of it, that dd is obviously happy and confident to do it on her own. I just dmwish I'd been there to see it! Hey ho! I appreciate the responses!

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BarbarianMum · 10/01/2017 11:07

At ours parents are generally invited. Having been to 5 now (ds1's a scout now, ds2 a cub) I have to admit they are a bit of a non event but I can see why you are disappointed, it would have upset me back in the day.

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