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I know I am but 3rd white wedding?

(200 Posts)
Exileinengland1999 Mon 09-Jan-17 20:51:47

A friend of mine is getting married for the 3rd time at age 43 and having her 3rd white wedding with the 3rd load of bridesmaids etc.

I know I have got major judgy pants on but Aibu to think it's a bloody waste of money.

I know- I'm being a major judgy cow and totally U and people can spend their money on what on earth they want but seriously, 3 massive white weddings? Would you not just get sick of spending 20k plus each time and think fuck it, let's just head down the registry office and to the pub!
God, I sound a horror don't i?! blush I just don't get the expense of it all.

PetalMettle Mon 09-Jan-17 20:53:39

Her money, her choice. Arguably all big weddings are a waste of money. Yabu and a bit sneer-y

OliviaBensonOnAGoodDay Mon 09-Jan-17 20:53:40

It's up to her isn't it. I think for some people it's important to think of it as the first time, even if it's not.

It might be about what her fiancé wants too.

hesterton Mon 09-Jan-17 20:53:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sparklingbrook Mon 09-Jan-17 20:53:53

I agree. I don't think I could summon up enthusiasm for that. Have you got to go as well?

MirandaWest Mon 09-Jan-17 20:54:04

Do you know how much it will cost? I've had two weddings but neither cost £20k. Not intending to have a third though.

PurpleDaisies Mon 09-Jan-17 20:54:43

Would you not just get sick of spending 20k plus each time and think fuck it, let's just head down the registry office and to the pub?

I couldn't bear to part with £20k for my one and only wedding.

Other people are entitled to spend their money however they want.

Sparklingbrook Mon 09-Jan-17 20:55:25

She will run out of bridesmaid colour schemes at this rate. Are the bridesmaids always the same ones?

Exileinengland1999 Mon 09-Jan-17 20:55:54

I'm really not intending to be sneery at all- I just can't get my head around it. I will be going and I am very happy for them.

PetalMettle Mon 09-Jan-17 20:57:07

That's good. Sorry have no idea why I was so touchy (have only been m once), it just seemed like because it was her 3rd she should hide away somewhere

thecolonelbumminganugget Mon 09-Jan-17 20:57:09

You do sound a horror, yes.

Their money, their choice.

If every payday they wanted to draw their salaries out in cash and dance naked around it as it burned that is just as legitimate as whatever you spend your wages on.

Exileinengland1999 Mon 09-Jan-17 20:57:10

I've been to the other 2 as well confused

bibbitybobbityyhat Mon 09-Jan-17 20:57:43


I am pretty judgey about any massively expensive traditional white wedding. But that's because I'm a feminist and a cynical old so-and-so who hates fripperies. I think we are way too romantic about weddings and marriage.

An ex gf (who I really liked, lovely woman) of a friend of mine got married and I saw her photos on FB. She had a strapless white meringue type dress and she's about 50ish. I just thought: why??

ApocalypseNowt Mon 09-Jan-17 20:58:00

Well it's probably not the norm but if she's got that kind of money or she's marrying men that do and wants to spend it that way then good for her!

Oysterbabe Mon 09-Jan-17 20:58:28

My uncle's had 4, each more extravagant than the last. At his last wedding he was "joking" about how he'll have to start saving immediately for the next one.

Sparklingbrook Mon 09-Jan-17 20:58:52

So are you buying present number 3?

Only1scoop Mon 09-Jan-17 20:58:59

Very judgey Op but I secretly agreegrin

Hardly the blushing bride this time around.

user1480946351 Mon 09-Jan-17 21:00:49

I know I have got major judgy pants on but Aibu to think it's a bloody waste of money

Not your money though, so why care?

PandoraMole Mon 09-Jan-17 21:00:56

It wouldn't be my thing but I don't think I could that worked up about someone else doing it tbh.

Marmalade85 Mon 09-Jan-17 21:01:16

They can spend their money how they like but I wouldn't bother attending if I attended the first two.

daquee101 Mon 09-Jan-17 21:02:22

Might turn into a cancel the cheque situation

FatOldBag Mon 09-Jan-17 21:02:25

If she enjoys it, more than she'd enjoy something else costing £20k, then it's not a waste of money to her, is it? You don't sound great tbh. Why shouldn't she spend her money on something she likes, just because you wouldn't choose to?

GetAHaircutCarl Mon 09-Jan-17 21:02:27

My friend has had three big weddings.

Bit daft but for his bride(s) it was their first time so they wanted it. And each time he has thought 'this is it'.

BarbarianMum Mon 09-Jan-17 21:04:53

I had a friend who got married 3 times in 8 years. I'd say by the third time we gathered to watch her make vows of unbreakable love most of us were feeling a bit jaded and sick of shelling out ££££ in hen nights/hotels/gifts. IME big white weddigs come with lots of costs to guests too.

WannaBe Mon 09-Jan-17 21:05:42

No I agree with you, but not just because of the fact that it's the third wedding of its kind but because IMO and IME time and age makes one realise what matters and what doesn't iyswim.

My wedding to eXH wasn't hideously expensive but was expensive enough, and even looking back I don't regret it or the way we went about it etc.

But now I'm engaged to DP, and if we ever make it to the wedding stage (currently living apart with no prospects of being able to change that so wedding looking unlikely at this stage,) there's no way I could consider spending a load of money I don't have on just one day. It's the marriage which is important, and there are many ways to celebrate without having to go into debt to the tune of thousands or sell off the family silver.

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